Great Expectations

Life can be a struggle. You find yourself barely hanging on. Read blogs and websites about how to be a great mother, overcome your weaknesses, be consistent, excel. But, real life trudges on with twists and turns and hard moments. Disappointments. Frustrations. Guilt. It all piles up into one big mountain. A dark one. How do you move it? You try to forget it but it hits you in the face every morning. Sometimes before you even get out of bed.


There is One who can move mountains.


I've been fighting my way through this past year. Hanging on at times. Like birth, 2 steps forward, 1 step back! I carried with me my bag of expectations...the things that I felt God would do for me and the things I thought He should do for me. I looked for relief in life, circumstances, doing. I, I, I.


My husband and I made our way to a wonderful hospital that is reputed for giving expecting parents a really great ultra-sound experience. I came with expectations. I knew how I wanted my family to take shape. 3 boys. 1 girl. It's time for another girl Lord. And, then , you know it... the ultra-sound technician says "another boy". I'm surprised. But, I make an on-the-spot decision that I won't allow myself to indulge in feelings of being forgotten by the Lord.


All weekend, I pray and cry and press in with the Lord. And, I pondered the words that came to my spirit and heart when I had first walked into that ultra-sound room.


Surrender to the Lord.


All along I've been sharing with people that this fifth pregnancy is a step that my husband and I took to give the Lord more control over our family. As I thought about my new little boy and prayed, I knew I had to surrender. After all, didn't I want God to build my family? YES! Didn't I want His plan for us? YES!


That weekend, the Lord gave me strength and help to put down my bag of expectations once again. I completely surrendered to His plans for me, once again. But, it wasn't defeat. Because when I gave up my expectations, I was filled with His hope, His peace and His joy. Oh I can't wait to hold this sweet little boy!!! Another boy!! YES!! And, I started believing in His promises again. That dark mountain I mentioned earlier was moved.
David wrote "[What, what would have become of me] had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living!" Psalm 27:13 I was walking down that road. The mountain, the burdens. I started to think that His goodness would somehow escape me! When you start to think that you won't see His goodness in your life, what becomes of you is despair, hopelessness and discouragement.


But, the Word tells us "Oh, how great is Your goodness, which You have laid up for those who fear, revere, and worship You, goodness which You have wrought for those who trust and take refuge in You before the sons of men!" Psalm 31:19


I experienced surrender and hope that weekend. I experienced His goodness! My gender expectations turned into wonder and joy at how God Himself is building our family in His purposes.


He is my refuge. He moves my mountains. He replaces my disappointments with HOPE and turns my sorrow into JOY.

Oh Boy! :)


Julie-Anne :)


"Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord." Psalm 27:14

Update on Mathias

Today, we feel as though we are living a New Testament type of miracle. Last night, both my husband and I feared that we might lose Mathias to influenza. He was horribly sick, getting worse, and on day 16. When we called a friend for prayer, she suggested that maybe the zithromax antibiotic they had put him on before they realized it was viral (they wanted us to finish the course anyways) was making him more ill. Side effects of zithromax include stomach pain and nausea, all of which our son complained much about. It could also explain why, even in the hospital, he would go from being well to very ill almost every day.

Whatever the reason for his turn-around (whether it be the end of his zithromax meds or other unknown factors), I believe that Jesus touched our son. So much prayer happened last night for our very sick little boy. And, today, that same little boy was playing with his toys and laughing.

Please keep him in prayer a little while longer until he is fully well. Thank you so much for your prayers.

Julie-Anne :)

Need Prayer

I am enlisting prayer from blog friends. Our four year old has viral pneumonia caused by influenza. He spent four days in the hospital. We came home yesterday. He seemed to be improving but the last couple of days have not been so good. He has moments of seeming to feel better. But, mostly, he stays in bed, complains about how he doesn't feel well or sleeps. He typically is our most active boy. I am now really a mess about all of this. We are on day 16 and he seems to be getting worse. I don't have time or skill to make a fancy button. But, please spread the word to friends you know can and will pray for our precious Mathias.

Thank you so much,

Julie-Anne

The Real Challenges of Motherhood

The last several months have been some of the most difficult months I have lived through in some time. I'm not sure if I've ever been this sick before. There were some dark moments of feeling very helpless. My kitchen became cold for my lack of cooking and baking. The children watched me lie down at all times of the day. The house became messy. I had a lot of time to think, pray, and like Job, lament to God.

We have spent so many years telling the general public that pregnancy is NOT an illness. But, what happens when expecting moms are very sick? I believe that my experience is not uncommon. Because, what happened to me is that I received a lot of well-meaning comments like "I hope you feel better soon." or "I'm praying for you." But, do you know what I desperately needed? I needed people. I needed someone to bring me the occasional meal for my family. I needed someone to call and encourage me. I needed someone to come and HELP me. I did have one very close friend who made arrangements one morning for her 3 little ones to have supervision and she brought some food and helped me with some cleaning. It was a true encouragement and a true example of how we should help each other in the body of Christ.

Having a fifth child is a step of faith for us. I have always wanted a big family. And, I was so excited to find that a house "full of children" is on God's heart too. A few years ago, I discovered the quiverfull movement through various blogs. I loved how these couples were allowing the Lord to choose their family size. We are not ourselves quiverfull as my husband and I are taking it one step at a time. We do, however, want to give the Lord more control in the area of family size and this fifth pregnancy is definitely the fruit of that. I am meeting more couples who are doing the same as we are. They have never heard of the "quiverfull" movement nor would they fit all the prescribed guidelines. But, the Holy Spirit is leading their hearts, God is blessing wombs and families are growing.

I have discovered the physical challenges of having a 'bigger' family first-hand. I recently read on a blog that one common myth about being "quiverfull" is that people think that it is physically hard on a woman's body to have many children. The writer simply stated that if women led an active and healthy lifestyle there would be no challenges. This is like saying to mountain climbers that, really, there are no risks to climbing Mount Everest if you are healthy and strong. Hmmm. At the age of 32, I have experienced some physical challenges due to many pregnancies. They continue to create challenges for me. These challenges can be overcome and God has even brought some physical restoration. Now, it's not that having many children is a goal we should avoid for fear that our bodies will suffer. But, there is so much mis-information out there about pregnancy and childbirth. I have always made it my goal while working in this field to be HONEST with moms about all aspects of having children. It's so important to be real. We can be true witnesses of Christ's work in our hearts if we are honest about the challenges.

There's no need to gloss things over. Motherhood can be hard at times. Having many pregnancies can present unique challenges. But, we can celebrate the truth that it truly is a gift from God who gently leads us during these tender and challenging years of childbearing. We can share how God has helped us through the many challenges. And, maybe, we can make an effort to live truthfully, encouraging each other and helping each other as much as we can. Then the world will know God is in this motherhood thing by the way we love each other.

Warm blessings,

Julie-Anne :)

Kreative Blog Award

I have been on a blog reading and writing break, due in part to how sick I have been with this pregnancy. But, I wanted to thank Tina for awarding me the Kreative Blog Award. I have not really been reading any blogs lately. However, I am putting up this post to acknowledge Tina's generosity in giving me this award. :)

Julie-Anne

Riches

God can make a poor man rich. But, He might not do it the way you think. He might actually use means that so-called prosperity preachers would never consider.

Recently, the Lord did this for an old farming couple I know. They have worked hard all their lives. They have small means. They own their land and farming equipment, yes. But, their modest farmhouse is hardly something you would see in a "House and Home" magazine. They have very little "material" stuff to show for their hard work.

Yet, when my in-laws shared with their relatives in Finland the news that their fifth grandchild was on the way, my mother-in-law's brother exclaimed "Boy, you are RICH!". My father-in-law agreed. "Yes", he said. "I was thinking the same thing. We ARE rich!".

In Psalm 127, Solomon tells us that children are God's reward. One translation puts it this way... "Don't you see that children are God's best gift?". The world views children as a hinderance to riches. But, somewhere in Northern Ontario Canada, the Lord chose to make a modest farming couple rich by blessing them with the heritage and reward of a fifth grandchild.

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9

How do you announce a fifth baby?

I've been trying to figure out the answer to that question this past week. We've shared our news with some people over the phone. But, I thought I would get a little creative this time with some of our relatives. This year, I started a blog for the sole purpose of displaying everyone's Christmas lists. On my side of the family, everyone puts together a list. It's not my favourite thing. I think it's because I enjoy spontaneity so much. But, it does help grandparents and aunts and uncles with ideas for gifts for the children. Starting a Christmas Wishes blog was a way for me to make this list thing more personal and more fun. As I was posting the last of the lists, I came up with a fun idea. I decided to post one last list for the new baby :) The text in yellow is what I borrowed from this site and the rest I added to personalize. I wanted to share it with you:

One last LIST:

I do not have a face to see,
Or put inside a frame.
I do not have soft cheeks to kiss.
I don't yet have a name.
Not yet can you hold my tiny hands,
Nor whisper in my ear.
It's still too soon to sing a song,
Or cuddle me so near.
But all that will change come this July
When they say I am due.
I am the newest Mauno child
And I can't wait until I meet you!

Now for the LIST:

• All I ask between now and then Is your love for me to grow. I promise I'll be worth the wait; Just think of all the joy we'll know!
• So as you're waiting patiently, Please pray lots of prayers for me. I cannot wait to be a part Of this wonderful family!
• When people say of me, WOW... #5! Smile and marvel just like my mom and dad, tell them I am God's best gift and how you are SO glad!
• When people wonder how my parents will ensure our growing family's needs are met, remind them of God's promise to provide which He won't soon forget!
• And, if you're wondering if I'm a girl or yet another boy! Don't worry and know that you can rest. Because it was God's decision and He gives the very best!