Fruitful Vines & Olive Shoots

New BLOG

2012-01-03T22:21:00.002-05:00

Hi there,

Apparently my links are not working to redirect you to my new blog! I'd love for you to join me and you can now find me writing at www.fruitfulmom.com ! If the link doesn't work, type fruitfulmom.com and you'll find me! See you there !!

Love,

Julie-Anne

Fruitful Vines Has Moved (and changed names)!

2011-11-23T01:03:00.005-05:00

Hi there. I know, there's nothing more frustrating than clicking on a blog only to find out it has MOVED! Well, for many different reasons, my blog Fruitful Vines & Olive Shoots has evolved into a new blog and a new work of encouraging moms called Fruitful Mom! Fruitful Mom is a blog about the amazing journey of motherhood. Meant to encourage and refresh mothers, reveal the mother-shaped-heart designed by God, tackle the real challenges and issues of mothering today. I'd love to see you there! Check out Fruitful Mom on Facebook too! Thanks for all of your support here over the years.

Julie-Anne

Handprints

2011-05-01T23:30:00.002-05:00

My living room window is covered in these little handprints. The boys love to climb behind the couch and stand on the bay window seat, little faces and hands pressed against glass. Little hands that would not be there had we not taken a leap of faith. Hand prints proving hearts. Hearts that would welcome children, even numbers 5 and 6.

Our home fills up and we are tested beyond our own limits. This mother of 6 is clumsily adapting and the growing pains of a family are never easy.

It doesn't look this way on T.V.

And so we struggle to make the uncommon look like the common. We stand out, sore thumbs and all, only to be scoffed at by many and cheered on by few. So few people get it. Why would we want to strrreeetchh ourselves this way? Sometimes we forget too but little handprints remind us. Little people who are here because we said yes, it's ok, stretch us in this way Lord.

Becoming Christ-like is never really about us. It's about others and how we give ourselves away for them.

There is no cape flapping in the wind here. In fact, there often isn't enough wind to fuel anything at all. But, I dare to believe there is enough of Him. Enough Jesus to fuel us on as a larger-than-average family. Enough of His strength to rescue tired hearts and hands. Enough of His wisdom to guide a novice big family in His ways. Enough of His love to fill the heart gaps. Enough of His words to quiet the ones that swirl around in weary minds.

No, it's not easy. Yes, I am busy. Please don't feel sorry for me. Because, ultimately, I stretch so that I might have more of Him in my life.

Oh how I need Him to inhabit our big family in a BiG way!

Julie-Anne

Call Me Naomi

2011-04-06T17:16:00.004-05:00

"Without watchful expectation on our part, what is the sense in waiting on God for help?" Charles H. Spurgeon

I was lying there in the ultra-sound room, my heart pounding. I had allowed myself to dream. The warm gel did little to calm my nerves. Could this be the one? Could this be the baby girl I had been asking God for? We were so sure it was. I already loved this baby. I didn't want to get caught up with gender. But, my heart ached for another little girl to raise.

The heart hopes for things.

I already have one daughter. And, together we had dreamed many times of what it would be like for her to have a sister. We were so sure that we actually brought her with us to the ultra-sound. And, it was in that little room that we got a sneak peek at our fifth son.

Proverbs 13:12 says that hope deferred makes the heart sick.

Naomi's heart was sick. She had buried a husband and her two sons. Naomi urges her Moabitess daughters-in-law to return to their maiden homes. There is still hope for you, she tells them. Ruth won't leave her side. So, Naomi returns to her homeland in Judah with her daughter-in-law "for she had heard in Moab how the Lord had visited His people in giving them food." (Ruth 1:6).

When the Lord visits, the hopeless heart is drawn.

Naomi arrives in Bethlehem, the birthplace of Hope in the flesh, God with us. In this hope-born town, she declares: "Call me not Naomi [pleasant]; call me Mara [bitter], for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me." A name change and a hope loss.

It was a spring day when He spoke it to me. Like Naomi, I name-change. Declaring a hopeless me when the One who is my Hope created me pleasant and hope-filled.

Naomi said she would never mother again. But, the very thing over which she chose to empty of hope was filled up and given back to her. A baby boy given to Ruth and Boaz, interjected into the lineage of Jesus, would also nourish hope back into Naomi's heart. "Then Naomi took the child and laid him in her bosom and became his nurse. " (Ruth 4:16)

He does that. He restores our hope.

We named our son Zachary Arrow. "God has remembered". Because God does remember. He does not forget us and He does hear us.

In fact, the One who knits us in the womb leaves His Hope-shaped fingerprints all over us.

He is our hope. Yes, for eternity and for now too. When the bitter pill of life threatens a name-change,

"Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord." Psalm 27:14

Julie-Anne

Welcome to Fruitful Vines!

2011-04-02T18:07:00.007-05:00

It was 4 years ago that I decided to open this blog. Since that time I've had 3 more babies and life has been FULL! I let the blog collect dust for awhile but my love of writing has me back, sweeping away the cobwebs. I really do love to write and I get inspiration from everyday life at home with my 6 children. Children are mirrors. And, through their eyes and hearts, I see. I see the weak and strong places within me. And, in this way the Lord teaches me daily. And, the stretching, growing, changing that happens everyday here in little people and a grown-up mommy has me typing out truths, discoveries and wonderings on this little blog in the quiet hours of the night. I'm growing in my blogging too and old posts remind me of this!

We are always growing.

And, we can inspire each other. That's why I'm so glad you stopped by. Many Thanks to 5MinutesforMom for hosting an Ultimate Blog Party where I have a chance to connect with you.

I'll be improving this blog in the next little while and writing as often as I can. Blogging, writing and growing. Always growing.

I do have a background in birth education and support so you'll find some posts related to pregnancy, birth and postpartum.

But, mostly, I blog about my journey in motherhood to encourage other mothers. I am reminded of how much we need Him and each other everyday. It's an opportunity to serve each other and share His heart, whether on the phone with a teary friend, over a soothing cup of hot tea while children play at our feet or in the comfort of words and the blogs that offer them up.

We are changing, by His grace.

And, my own sweet mother reminds me of how we, as mothers, change as He shapes us and works His heart into our beings like we work flour into dough. The rising up that follows is evidence of His work, His love, His grace in our lives. Are you ready to rise up? Join me in the sharing, the growing and the becoming because of Him.

Julie-Anne

I Abandon

2011-03-29T15:41:00.008-05:00

Motherhood is sure surrender. A nose wiping, diaper changing, teen taming journey of abandoning time, energy and space. My life for another. The ultimate exchange. It's no wonder it takes determination and perseverance - the kind that gets you through that ten centimeter long road to the meeting of two hearts. And, when feet ache and heart breaks in an "I can't do this anymore" sort of way, I need the one who exchanged His life for me.

He is the good portion. And my Martha hands can use a Mary moment. Edith, my 80 something year old friend, mother of 8, tells me I can find Him at my kitchen sink. That's where she met with Him, day after day, as she washed dish after dish, with children at her feet.

He is in the ordinary places.

A child's voice echoes His voice when I've spoken the "I give up" words to him and his brother after they get out of bed for the tenth time. "Mommy, aren't you not supposed to?" I'm not supposed to give up.

I am a mother, unraveling.

So, I meet Him at my kitchen sink again. I unravel and He disentangles me from my mess. My Mary heart is strengthened to keep doing the Martha work that mothers do. Daily serving that my children might grow in Him. Daily abandoning so that He might shine brightly in me.

Abandonment is a beacon.

I am not a perfect Mother but I am a persevering Mother because I know that when God meets me in my ordinary life, extraordinary things can happen. And, I write it here to record it and to remind you, dear sisters, that you can find Him in your ordinary places too.

Julie-Anne

If this ordinary place can also be a place of connecting with the Father, what a joy that would be! I write to encourage you, to share my heart so that through my humble experiences you might also connect with Him. There is this conference all about connecting with the Father and using your gifts of writing, speaking or leadership to serve others as you serve Him! The She Speaks Conference will be held this July in North Carolina. Ann Voskamp, blogger at A Holy Experience and author of 1000 Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are is giving away a scholarship to attend the She Speaks Conference in North Carolina in July. I'm submitting this post as an entry. Won't you consider it too?

Taking Care in Early Postpartum

2011-03-28T21:51:00.008-05:00

With each birth experience comes a postpartum experience. I'm now in my 6th postpartum after the birth of our son Zachary 9 weeks ago. With each birth, I have learned so much about the early postpartum time. It's really important to nurture your body, your baby and your family in special ways. Through my work with expecting mothers, I've come to realize that so many women don't understand this time and how to approach it for the best healing and bonding possible. I am sharing what I have learned and hope that it be a blessing to you as well!

Healing Necessities:

Witch Hazel-I always make sure I have distilled witch hazel on hand. It is an astringent herb that promotes healing and reduces swelling and bruising. I pour some on a cotton make-up pad and use it as a compress for healing in the perineal area. It's also GREAT for healing hemorrhoids. Postpartum women can be prone to hemorrhoids beyond the birth as everything takes time to heal up.

Herbal Healing Bath-This was the first time I tried this and it was wonderful, soothing and healing. It is a mixture of herbs that can be steeped and added to a bath in the first week after birth with some epsom salts. I ordered these herbs online and made several packs for my childbirth workshops but you might be able to find a pack at your local midwife's office. Here is the recipe I used:

Postpartum Healing Herbal Mix:

1 oz Lavender-Relaxation, helps with bruising.

1 oz Calendula-Knits wounds, soothes inflammation, controls bleeding, & heals damaged tissue. Antiseptic & antimicrobial.

1 oz Comfrey-Knits wounds, speeds healing. Astringent, anti-inflammatory & soothing. 1 oz Sheppard’s Purse-Reduces bleeding and bruising.

1 oz Uva Ursi-Antiseptic, antimicrobial & astringent.

Directions: Place contents of bag in a large pot with 8-10 cups of water. Cover & bring to a boil. Remove from heat. Let it steep for 40-60 minutes. Strain, reserving herbs. Repeat, reusing herbs with ½ the amount of water. Pour 4-5 cups of the liquid into a shallow bath or dilute ½ cup of liquid to 4 cups of water for use in a sitz pan or peri bottle. Refrigerate remaining liquid in clean containers until needed. Freeze if saving more than 2 days. Thaw and warm before use. Not recommended for surgical deep wounds. External use only.

Pain Management:

Cramp Bark-I use crampbark tincture (Viburnum Opulis) in a bit of water or juice in the 12 hours following birth and it really does helps soothe the afterbirth pains and cramping. This is also a wonderful help for those suffering from painful menstrual cramps.

Tylenol and Advil - Yes, I have also taken conventional pain killers such as Tylenol and Advil during the first few days after giving birth. The advantage of Advil (ibuprofen) is that it is anti-inflammatory and reduces swelling.

Homemade Ice Pack-In births where I have had more trauma to my perineum, I have found that soaking a menstrual pad in water, freezing it and "wearing" it has worked wonders to relieve swelling and pain.

Electric Heating Pad-I use this a lot in the last weeks of pregnancy to ease my aches and pains. But, it can be helpful to soothe cramping after the birth too!

Rest, Wonderful Rest!

I have really come to understand my need to rest and spend a lot of time with my feet up in the first 3 weeks postpartum. I have heard many times the idea that women should be on their feet quickly after giving birth. I have to disagree. Rest is so important to my healing. If I am on my feet too much too soon I will prolong my healing, often prolong my bleeding and stress my pelvic floor muscles. Rest also helps strengthen my emotional state! And, of course, rest is helps boost my milk production as well. But, perhaps the best thing of all is that while spending so much time resting, I can enjoy lots of snuggles with my new baby, cuddles with my other children and just taking life slowly. When I am slowing down to rest in early postpartum, my whole family tends to slow down with me. It's a special time of restoration for all of us as a new baby it is an adjustment for the whole family. I also like to set aside a book or two to read during this special time.

Replenish!

After I have a baby, I daily drink an herbal tea mix* of

Red Raspberry Leaf** (which helps tone the uterus),

St. John's Wort (which helps with emotional well-being),

Nettle Leaf (which is especially full of iron).

I occasionally add Alfalfa Leaf (great for calcium and other minerals) and Dandelion Leaf (which also helps replenish minerals). These herbs help rebuild my mineral stores and enrich my milk! With a spoon of honey, this tea mix is actually really delicious! I also take Vitamin D and if I remember, some Calcium. If my iron is very low, I do take those little green iron pills, but only after several weeks, when my system can handle them. Many moms continue to take prenatal vitamins in the postpartum period and this is also a good way to replenish.

*these are the herbs I am comfortable taking. I am not an herbalist and am not meaning this as medical advice. I have researched these time-tested herbs and have learned to use them for my benefit. Always make an informed choice.

**A note about Red Raspberry Leaf... I drink this herb almost daily whether postpartum, expecting or in between. It is wonderful for reproductive health and is known to help with uterine tone. Even after this last baby, the medical staff and my midwife were astonished at how quickly my uterus "clamped down" and returned to its pre-pregnancy size. I credit the Red Raspberry Leaf for that!

Physiotherapy and Exercise:

I always wait until after I am 6 weeks postpartum to exercise or do physiotherapy. Because I have a weakness in my pelvic floor muscles, I have been seeing a physiotherapist for the last 2 years. The results are truly positive and I have regained so much strength! With everything I have learned about pelvic organ prolapse and the pelvic floor, it is my strong belief that every woman should learn to nurture and strengthen her pelvic floor! It should be a lifestyle. My exercise really consists of step aerobics which I do as the free step on the Wii. 30 minutes/day for 3 to 5 days per week is what I try to accomplish. I also have some exercises to do as part of my physiotherapy. Physio and Exercise can be a challenge to fit into life with a new baby. Rather than avoiding it altogether, I have learned to do what I can and find creative ways to make it work. Here's an example of getting creative...I did a lot of free step when pregnant for Zachary. One day while I was trying to do some free step, Zachary was fussing and crying. I decided to carry him in my arms while stepping. He just loved it and fell asleep within a few minutes. Now, I find myself doing free step just to settle him or then I just take him in my arms for part of my exercise session because he loves it so much! My teenagers will also free step with him and it settles him almost everytime!

Feeding and Bonding:

The first few days of breastfeeding can be a roller-coaster ride. Typically, my baby sleeps a lot in the first 24 hours. Then, my baby seems famished until my milk comes in on day 3 or 4. I try not to get discouraged and know that the motherload is coming. We both get a little more rest once my milk is established! What a relief! My experience here is typical and many moms wonder if they have enough milk on days 2 and 3 until their milk really comes in. I just try and nurse as often as I can because breastfeeding is a supply and demand relationship and the more I nurse, the faster my milk comes in. It can be a tiring experience which makes REST that much more important. But, I really like to breastfeed on demand and I truly love meeting my baby's needs in such a free and non-restrictive way. Skin-on-skin with baby can be a really wonderful bonding time, helps regulate baby's blood sugar too and I often do this in the first few days and during growth spurts to calm my baby and stimulate my milk supply!

Eating:

I am usually famished in the weeks following birth! I try to aim for healthy snacks like trailmix or fruit. Often, I am so desperate for energy that I gravitate towards baking and breads (which I don't normally crave) so I try to be careful. I have learned to try and have healthy and easy snacks on hand such as cut up veggies, cheese, yogourt, muffins etc... My waistline takes a lot of time to shrink again but through my studies in the childbearing field, I've come to understand that our bodies tend to build fat reserves to help fuel the breastfeeding period. I take care of myself and I try to be patient. It really is not the time to limit myself because I still need more calories while breastfeeding. I just have to make healthy choices.

Extra Help:

I usually try and arrange for extra help for the first 2 weeks after giving birth. My husband tries to take time off, my mom has come at times and my mother-in-law has helped out. This really gives me freedom to rest. I often hear people say that we should not expect a clean house after a baby is born. We do have to have realistic expectations about housework. But, it is such a blessing when someone helps me keep my home in order in early postpartum. I always have such a desire for a peaceful and inviting environment after I have given birth. Extra help can also take the form of meals brought over or a kind phone call to provide a bit of fellowship during this busy time! I also try and freeze a few meals and muffins etc. before the baby comes. This helps me get back on my feet slowly once my extra helpers are gone! And, speaking of extra helpers, my older children have always been a big help to me. It is false to think that having more babies is unfair to older children. It is a valuable time of training for older children as they help care for little ones. Just last night my teenaged son told me how much he was thankful for his younger siblings and how much it means to him that we welcome more children as blessings in our home! We are equipping them for their future. A young heart in father-training.

Spiritual Growth:

Don't forget to take time with the Lord, praying and reading His Word as you nurse your baby and spend time healing. He is our strength and we need His perspective during these first few weeks with a new baby! He has brought this life into our arms and I often spend time quietly marveling at His creation and His handiwork evidenced in my precious baby!

These are some things I have found helpful. I hope it can bless you in some way. Happy postpartum journey!

Julie-Anne

Just a note, I buy my herbs in bulk (way cheaper than the local health food store, even with shipping!) at www.bulkherbstore.com and www.starwest-botanicals.com .

Plant Anyway

2011-03-26T20:53:00.005-05:00

A few years ago, one of my boys, young and ambitious, wanted to plant seeds. He begged me. Insisted. So I gave him kidney beans and sent him outside to "plant". Later, he eagerly showed me where he had "planted" his seeds. They lay in a pile on top of the soil amidst the bright green blades of grass in early summer. Oh. I sighed for the disappointment he might feel when his seeds, "planted" in a spot unlikely to produce a harvest, would not grow. A little while later, walking by that same grassy spot, I noticed them. Sprouts. The seeds had sprouted. Roots had burst out of seeds reaching down deep into the soil and pushed up green. I couldn't believe it. Seeds sown in unlikely places bearing unexpected growth. All summer we mowed the grass around the patch of bean plants standing tall, defying the odds.

There is this scripture in Isaiah about seeds. And, while commentaries agree that it is an allusion to the gospel and the harvest of souls it will produce, there is something here for mothers too.

Isaiah 32:20 "Happy and fortunate are you who cast your seed upon all waters [when the river overflows its banks; for the seed will sink into the mud and when the waters subside, the plant will spring up; you will find it after many days and reap an abundant harvest], you who safely send forth the ox and the donkey [to range freely]."

Mothers plant seeds everyday. The seeds land in little hearts and the growing of these hearts is a daily work.

Sometimes it's hard to see fertile soil in the heart of your child. You've got seeds in hand but you're staring at unruly waters instead of rich black soil.

But, love leads you to plant anyway.

You are the hopeful gardener and you take chances and you cast your seed upon the overflowing bank of the river, believing for soil you cannot see. You pray to Him who gives the seeds to plant. For guidance. For strength. For wisdom. For faith. Faith to cast the seeds upon all waters, all the unlikely places for seeds to grow in your child's heart. The seed sinks deep into the waters, burying in the mud. Hidden. Seemingly lost.

But, mothers know that mothering is not quick work. It requires time. After many days, the river's waters subside, the currents weaken and the heart softens. The unexpected happens and the plant springs up, fruit of your labours! After many days, you have found it and the harvest stands tall, reminding you of the miracles that can happen when you partner with Him for your child's heart.

And, when a seed yields a harvest, and the fruit is sweet, you can't help but want more. An abundant harvest. A gospel harvest.

Motherhood is gardening and He supplies us with the seeds for little hearts to grow big, full of Him. When the heart of your child seems an unlikely place for your seeds to grow, plant anyway.

Julie-Anne

The Heart of a Son

2011-03-20T22:15:00.003-05:00

He leans over a page with handwriting, messy, pencil-drawn. His mother sits across from him, trying hard to fight the tears that might come and follow the path of one of the many wrinkles on her face. Wrinkles that hide secret hurts and could tell the painful tales...all leading to this one moment, the reason she is here. Her son, in a bright-orange jumpsuit. A young man behind bars but a heart that is free enough to scribble poems for his mom on a wrinkled piece of paper. And now, he reads the words to her. The words of his heart. He glances up at us when we enter the room, but undeterred, he reads. He reads words that are free, words that escape the bars. "I wish I could take it all back... I know life is too short..." His mother looks around nervously as her son reads his heart to her. "I remember the trips to the park...the blueberry pie...and kites flying high..." She wipes the tears as fast as they come and I don't know but I am seeing a little boy's heart in a young man's body. I picture the scene of kite flying in my mind, I smell the pie. The heart of a son. We have come to share our own heart words. And, something about metal bars and hearts squeezed behind them seems to free the soul. At least that has been our journey.

And, I think about my own sons. One of them a teenager. A gentle soul. A heart that beats with compassion and a passion for justice. Everyday calling his one year old brother "Sunshine". Everyday growing into a man. May I help (and not hinder) him in his growing. Our six year old son who in a difficult time in my life asked me "Mommy, do some moms ever smile and laugh?". A busy boy's heart reflecting my pain like a mirror, helping to pull me out of my fog and helping me see, helping me smile and laugh and count my blessings. Yes, some moms smile and even laugh. May I be one of them. Our three year old son, so determined, so strong. Everything a battle for independence. A dance to try and balance his will to lead and his need to obey. This boy's heart shines so bright. He surprised me tonight when I walked into a room and he was there and I heard his voice before I saw him "Mommy, you're great!". Actually, he is great for seeing me with a loving, gracious heart. He is great for reaching my heart, unexpectedly, the way he often does. Our one year old son, such a big boy with a tender, tender heart. He speaks so well already, expressing feelings like "I sad" and asking for "tickles". So many words this child speaks revealing a little boy's heart fully aware and fully loving his family. Our youngest and newest son, just 2 months old, is a joy, heart-stretching and heart-filling us! He cries big tears. I mean, I've never seen a baby cry such big, wet tears. Maybe those tears are for all my tears while I carried him and life brought its struggles and my pregnant heart cried. But, oh those smiles! Smiles so big that one could get lost in them. Smiles that erase tears and bring promise and hope and reveal the heart of a son.

Five sons. Five hearts in our care. I have to agree with the young man/son in orange, life is too short. I have been praying for God to help me understand my children, love my children, teach my children, nurture my children. He is the magnifying glass that reveals great discoveries hidden in our children's hearts. And, as I parent these five boys I realize more and more that I cannot help grow the heart of a son without the heart of His Son fueling my love for my children, strengthening this road-weary mom, guiding the blind-hearted woman that I am into their hearts and searching and unveiling my own heart to empty it of self and of all that hinders mothering and to fill it with Himself, more and more, if I want Him, if I seek Him.

"For the Lord searches all hearts and minds and understands all the wanderings of the thoughts. If you seek Him [inquiring for and of Him and requiring Him as your first and vital necessity] you will find Him..." 1 Chronicles 28:9

Julie-Anne

Orange Double-You's

2011-03-12T21:16:00.004-05:00

My babe is asleep, tucked into our huge, king-sized bed where I will soon be snuggled with him. My teething toddler has finally settled and I've wiped his tears of pain running down his cheeks. My teenaged son has gone to bed, a heart being trained for fatherhood, as he cuddled his little brother and prayed and worried about his teething pain. My teenaged daughter is probably still reading by the light of her bed lamp, savouring a favourite book she has read many times over. My 6 year old is fast asleep, the depth of his heart way beyond his years, worry creasing his young face giving way to peaceful sleep. My spirited 3 year old has finally agreed to welcome sleep.

And, I'm thankful.

My 6 year old and I are reading Luke right now. I've found Mary, the mother of my Lord, written into the first few pages of this gospel account.

"I serve the Lord," Mary answered. "May it happen to me just as you said it would." Then the angel left her. Luke 1:38 NIrV

I wonder if she realized that this motherhood assignment would be hard? Did she realize the challenges and tears that lay ahead? I serve the Lord... May it happen to me...

I'm thinking of my own God-assignment. Motherhood. A sticky little hand holds out a plastic letter "w" and a little voice exclaims "Look Mommy, it's a double-you and it is orange!". I try to look past the dirt and grime on this sweet, miniature man-hand just outgrowing the toddlerhood dimples. "Wow!" I try to be enthusiastic. All the while I'm thinking I need to give this child a bath! But, the orange double-you moment speaks to me. It beckons me. It speaks of my son's bright enthusiasm for learning and sharing. It speaks to me of his potential. It distracts me from the mountain of laundry and more importantly, it distracts me from the sticky on my son's hand and helps me see into his heart. A sticky hand and a life full of promise. My battle-weary mother-heart winces as I read the words Simeon prophesied to Mary when they took Jesus to the temple to be circumcised...a sword will wound your own soul too... Barely a week after the birth pains that brought forth the son of God, Mary faces the reality of her God-assignment. This is going to hurt. It's not going to be easy. Mary will have to look beyond sticky hands too... hands that will one day be nail-pierced for humanity's redemption. Mary was chosen to nurture the boy Jesus to propel him to fulfill His own God-assignment. I am wondering about my own boy's God-assignment and how, part of my God-assignment is to propel him too. I am thinking of my own soul wounds in this journey of motherhood. I am remembering little hands that hold out orange double-you's and my heart sings along with Mary's heart...

I serve the Lord... may it happen to me.

Julie-Anne

A deep work

2011-01-22T19:48:00.004-05:00

This blog is a neglected place. Indeed. I haven't figured out how to fit my love for writing in with a day of loving and taking care of my family. Family wins out, of course and with little time and energy left, my blog collects dust ;) And, now, with the birth of our 6th child (5th son) Zachary, I think the dust will just have to go to sleep, because, as the wise poem goes, babies don't keep.

I think it's amazing how life just keeps going, and there is little time and space to just stop and be still. I try. When I breathe in Zachary's baby smell and nestle my cheek on his cheek. When I share a smile with my one year old and it feels as though it's only the two of us in the room. But, in truth, there are a lot of bodies in any given room in our small house. With six children, there are plenty of opportunities for laughter, noise, activity and everything else that makes a family what it is.

But, here I am. Six beautiful and amazing children. Loving them is a deep work with its own challenges and joys. I've said it before, I believe in life. I am embracing God's design. I want to say that I trust Him with my family size. Truth be told, I am often still trying to control things with my own hopes and dreams. But, I want to trust God with everything in my life. Which brings me to a challenging thing. Prayer. Many, many of my prayers seem to hang in the balance, never quite coming to fruition the way that my heart hopes. This is life. I believe God can do anything. But, many times when I pray, it's hard to push passed the disappointments INTO the realm of possibility. I mean, that it would actually be possible that God would want to answer me. He can. Certainly. But, does He want to? He is sovereign, of course. Prayer is not, indeed, about getting what we want. It's about getting to know our Lord and, in His sovereignty, seeing His hand at work in our lives for our best. That is what I read recently. And, I suppose that is why Romans 12:12 tells us to be constant in prayer. So that we might be spending as much time with Him as possible, building our relationship.

Which brings me back to my family. Building relationships is not the work of the faint at heart. And, yet, my heart faints so often trying to find my way through the maze of things that challenge my relationships with my precious children and my wonderful, brave husband. It's in His strength that I can do it, that I hope to get better at it. The more children I have, the more relationships I get to build. And, God is the author of each one of those relationships. When I stop to drink in the goodness of my newborn baby, I'm hardly tempted to put a limit on how many I would embrace. I suppose other things might make me feel like I've reached some sort of limit: sleepless nights, the pain of childbirth, the stretching budget, the shrinking space in our home, the defiant toddler etc... But, again, Romans 12:12 reminds me to be constant in prayer, patient in suffering and to exult in hope. So, I hope in Him who knows the limits of my heart and how to stretch them, for His glory. I pray to be patient in the trials that I face on this journey of mothering a larger-than-average family. And, I pray that I will learn to be constant in prayer, to be nearer to the One who gives strength for it all.

You know, I had prayed for a girl this time. And, instead I got this beautiful, sweet baby boy who is God's perfect plan for me. Where would I be without Zachary? He is my perfect match. And, I'm building a relationship handpicked by God himself. So, I'm learning something about prayer. That is, God knows best. But, more importantly, His ways are better.

Julie-Anne

We need a Voice!

2010-10-28T13:07:00.006-05:00

As a stay-at-home mom, I know first hand how isolating this chosen life can be. Society at large has quenched motherhood in a myriad of ways. But, we should expect that of society. Because, usually, society is contre-courant from God's ways and His design. Stay-at-home mothers can find solace in the scriptures that picture women thriving in their homes as a blessing from the Lord. Even the New Testament admonishes women to be homemakers, to love their children and their husbands. Ok, let's stop there. Before you assume that I'm trying to make working moms feel guilty, give me a chance. I understand fully the economic dilemmas families face when trying to survive on a single income. I've been there. That's not what this post is about. I only intend to lend a voice to homemakers, if only for 5 minutes. I'm not trying to condemn the working mom. I'm also not trying to find a voice in society. I'm trying to find a voice in the church.

I recently started to read a book geared for Christian women which contains many encouraging and enlightening insights. I haven't finished it yet. That's partly because I was stopped in my tracks when I got to this statement:

"...God does not need a band of domesticated daughters who spend their days baking and behaving well. Nothing wrong with baking, but if that is all we do, God won't use us to change history."

GASP!

I already knew that the church tends to think like society on the issue of homemaking. I've spoken to enough women in the church to feel this pulse. But, I realized something the day I read those words. Homemakers don't have a voice in the church. Books are being written and conferences are being held to tell thousands and thousands of women of their worth in the church by encouraging them to become leaders and to look outside the home to make an impact.

And, that's where it all UNRAVELS for me. Of course we have worth in the church! Of course in God's eyes women are equally valued and special and loved. Anything else is a fabrication of a frail and sinful humanity. (We do however have different roles than men, but that is another can of worms for another time!). But statements like the one made in the book I'm reading only serve to DIMINISH the home as a sphere of influence where women can indeed impact the world and thus, history.

STOP.

That's not what the Bible says. See Psalm 128 and Titus 2 as prime examples. That's what society has been telling us and Chrisians are recycling this view and making it sound spiritual.

This kind of teaching further alienates the Christian stay-at-home mom. It SILENCES us. This kind of view pushes us out onto the fringe. We're used to the fringe outside the church. But, in the church? I'm confronted by these attitudes often.

First, we are wildly misunderstood. For example, many people think that because I am a stay-at-home mom with young children I have no time for a phone call or a visit. I've heard 100 times someone say to me, "oh, I would have dropped by or called but I figured you were busy with your children". It might sound courteous, but it's a misunderstanding of my life and my needs. Children are part of the ebb and flow of my life, not an obstacle to experiencing the richness that is supposed to be mine in being connected to a group of Chrisitans. And so, many stay-at-home moms are isolated within their churches too.

Second, the notion that doing homaking-type of things is not having an impact on the world is also a false notion. Do you know that I once mentored a young lady into a new walk with Christ by using one tool? Can you guess what it was? It was BAKING. She loved to bake and so did I so I would invite her over to bake with me.

Thirdly, let's look at children. Ok, let's face it, raising children 'round the clock is hard and there are discouraging times. But, children are God's best gifts! You would admire another woman for investing money in the stock market and getting great returns. But, guess what? Money is not God's best gift. Children are. How we mentor our children day to day WILL impact the WORLD! We are raising a godly generation and our actions will impact future generations too! That's an AMAZING return.

It is in the day to day things that we impact those around us. Women struggle to choose being a full-time, stay-at-home mom and wife, and it's no wonder. Even at teen girl retreats and in Christian materials geared towards teen girls, girls are encouraged to think about their careers but never encouraged to consider motherhood and domestic pursuits as worth while.

The message is not getting out. Domestic pursuits are WORTHWHILE. Our society doesn't think so. But the church should. Don't look outside your home for an opportunity to influence generations and the world. Your sphere of influence is far reaching, even if you're at home most of the time.

God DOES need a band of domesticated daughters who bake. Because, these daughters are investing in future generations by caring for the daily needs of their children; by baking a batch of cookies for their teenage son (because everyone who has a teenage son knows that the way to their heart is usually through their stomach!); by breathing new strength into our husbands when we greet them with a meal and a shoulder rub at the end of a hard day where they may have faced ridicule for their faith or have had to stand firmly in the face of temptation while all the other men they worked with freely indulged! (giving them renewed strength to continue to stand for Christ the next day).

If all you do is bake and perform other "domestic" tasks, AND you do it with God's love and use it to bless others, you ARE impacting the world and you WILL change history. Will you solve global problems of poverty and exploitation? Not immediately. But, as you raise up the next generation to be passionate about these issues; as you sew up blankets for orphans with your daughter, as you help your children organize a shoebox party for other less fortunate children- complete with baking ;), as you teach your son to be passionate about the value of life and help him gain the confidence to articulate a defence for the helpless (in conversations over a hot lunch), as you support a troubled mom with items for her baby and teach her the basics of cooking and other aspects of motherhood, you will be changing the world, one domestic task at a time. It's time to look inside your home. It's time the church stopped indulging in a feminist view of homemaking with messages like "you can impact the world, but you should get out of the home to do it".

Hello! We homemakers beg to differ. Don't underestimate the home as a place of great influence with history-making potential.

Give us a voice. We're here. And, we WILL be counted as history makers!

Blessings,

Julie-Anne

ps. If you are a working mom and you stuck it out this far in my post, blessings to you! Can we be friends?... because we all need encouragement!

Embracing Life

2010-09-28T14:32:00.004-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about LIFE. About my heart. About motherhood. About babies. About what it really means to be pro-life. I'm not afraid of that label and if, in your mind, it carries negative ideas of images, I would propose that it's probably the result of media and propaganda. Pro-life groups are usually EXTREMELY peaceful and full of love and are often denied a voice at every level of government and in many public institutions (every North-American is suppose to have freedom of expression under Charters and Constitutions). They are often supporting mothers and babies with their time, love and money. Saving lives, one at a time. They are brave souls standing before parliamentary committees, promoting the cause of LIFE. I should know. I recently spent a day with them. I'm really ok with the association to these humble, dedicated people. And, coming together as a group to share resources, ideas and efforts to defend the most vulnerable and love the people (mainly women) caught in the grips of this war on life is a brave and noble act.

I've been pondering the question of what it really means to be pro-life and whether my life reflects it well. I've come to realize that it's so much more than a movement or a group. It's more than being against abortion or euthanasia. I believe that being pro-life is a way of life. One quote I recently heard was by a bishop who suggested that being pro-life is fundamentally about "building an active culture of life... by good deeds of love and charity". This makes me think of simple acts to celebrate life such as bringing a batch of muffins to a new mom in your community or sending over a meal to a family that is caring for their aging parents. I think of encouraging struggling mothers and families with gifts of love, time and material help. There are so many things we can do to encourage people to value and cherish life.

As women and mothers, being pro-life is very much about embracing life in our wombs and life around us. It's about changing the attitudes of our hearts and checking ourselves every time our thoughts, words or actions do not celebrate the gift of life! It's about carrying out the incredible task of reflecting God's nurturing, tender heart. Women are the nurturers and the caretakers for the vulnerable ones in our world... young and old. This makes us embassadors of life.

Our attitude towards motherhood and children is a good starting point. Do we love children as our Lord does? Do we understand how valuable the task of motherhood is in God's kingdom? Do we love and cherish motherhood? If I'm sounding idealistic, you need to know that I am well aware of the daily challenges being a mother brings. Raising children is not easy. Serving our families with love and joy is even harder. But, I believe that God can give us His heart and grow us into the place where we truly love motherhood.... most days ;) If we can reflect that to our neighbours and our church, then we are reflecting a special part of God's heart.

We are pro-life only as far as the words we speak, the way we act, the choices we make, the thoughts of our hearts. We often attach worldly conditions to life... as long the father has a good job to support his family, as long as they don't have more than 2 or 3 children, as long as the baby is healthy, as long as grandma's care doesn't take away too many freedoms... as long as... as long as.... Let us strive to cherish, celebrate, embrace and welcome life, no strings attached. This is being Christ-like. This is what being pro-life really is about.

Julie-Anne

Trust and Joy

2010-09-01T22:38:00.002-05:00

I've been working on a word/Word search today. I know that God is asking me to trust Him more completely. I had a bit of a revelation when looking up scriptures that speak of trusting the Lord. (I used biblegateway.com by the way which I love for word searches in the Word). What I noticed is that trusting the Lord is usually connected to joy!

"But let all those who take refuge and put their trust in You rejoice; let them ever sing and shout for joy, because you make a covering over them and defend them; let those also who love your name be joyful in You and be in high spirits." Psalm 5:11

For me, it is hardest to trust when my heart is broken, disappointed or dismayed. And yet, trust brings joy.

"The Lord is my Strength and my [impenetrable] Shield; my heart trusts in, relies on, and confidently leans on Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him." Psalm 28:7

Trusting in the Lord causes our hearts to greaty rejoice. As I began to uncover these scriptures, I was intrigued that trust could bring joy. I was looking for peace, hoping for joy in Him again. Learning to trust the Lord with my whole life, with total abandonment, exchanging my plans for His, is really the only way I will experience true joy in life. That's a wonderful revelation.

I want to say that I don't believe trusting in God eliminates all sorrows in life. But, I think I get that trusting in God lifts the spirits and mingles that sorrow with His joy!

I printed off a list of scriptures and posted them above my kitchen sink. I felt uplifted this morning as I began to dive into the scriptures. I decided I should post them where I could read them daily. There is so much more to uncover when looking at trusting the Lord. And, reading the truths of the Bible does make the heart glad.

Blessings,

Julie-Anne

Trust

2010-08-31T22:05:00.001-05:00

"Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths." Proverbs 3: 5-6

There should be FREEDOM in trust. Trusting in the Lord means believing that He works all things for our good. Such freedom. But, life is so daily and people are so human. Ya know? There should not be a "but" after talking about trusting the Lord. We are all called as His children to TRUST Him. It's meant for our freedom, safety, peace, guidance (and even joy). It's saying to the Father, no matter what comes my way, I trust you with my whole life. I trust you to lead me in your paths. He is faithful and I believe that our lack of trust does not change His faithfulness. But, my own understanding wants to stand in the way. It jumps to conclusions, often unbiblical ones. It bullies me out of trust. It tries to reason with me. Surely the Lord has forgotten me. Surely if He was trustworthy, He would not allow all of this hardship to happen to me. The scriptures tell us that He is full of compassion and love for us. But, that doesn't exempt us from sufferings.

"Moreover [let us all be also be full of joy now!] let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our own sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance. And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of character (approved faith and tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of] joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation." Romans 5: 3-4

Someone once told me that, as a Christian, we can experience joy mingled with our sorrows. I didn't believe Him at first. But, the scriptures suggest that we can.

When we found out this 6th baby would be our 5th son, I felt a range of emotions. I've been hoping for a girl this time - actually the last few times- (but to be clear, we are not "trying" for a girl, we are just "trying" to trust the Lord to build our family). The hardest part was dealing with feelings of not being heard by the Lord and struggling to trust that His plan was better than mine. But, as I mentioned, our journey is one of TRUSTING the Lord to build our family His way. He has the control. He is leading our path. And, oh how I love my babies, including this precious little boy! But, I had placed my own conditions on this baby. And, I had to work through the fact that the Lord has chosen something different, out of love for me, according to His good plans for me (and He might just use this to build more character).

While trying to trust and find peace, within a week of our ultra-sound, we received news that there was a problem (or there might be a problem). Our ultra-sound detected an amniotic band which is a rare condition where the inside layer of the amniotic sac forms strings or bands. The problem is these bands can adhere to the baby at any point in the pregnancy, causing growth defects. So far, no defects were detected. But with this condition, they could happen at any time. My midwife made me promise not to google it. She is hoping it was a false reading. It's so rare that we are not sure what might be ahead. Hopefully just a false alarm. But, these are the kinds of things that derail my happy train and somehow my trust wagon is now a runaway car headed for disaster. I begin to feel uncertain about God's love and care for me. God is more trustworthy than how I feel. But, the scriptures tell me I need to trust Him with ALL my HEART. So my heart has to stop feeling uncertain and start FEELING trust COMPLETELY.

I want to bless His name again in my heart. I want to trust Him with all my heart. Ironically, I need the Lord to help me with this. Oh Lord grow me up! Cause me to trust in You with my whole heart. I want to live a life of trust in Him and enjoy all the benefits of freedom, peace and joy that come with it. Show me the way, O Lord.

"Rejoice and exult in hope; be steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; be constant in prayer." Romans 12: 12

Julie-Anne
To all those who still check up on me and my blog, I see you (or at least I see the stats) on my blog counter every week. Thanks.

Too Many Children

2009-11-11T20:27:00.006-05:00

How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers.
-Mother Teresa

In my heart, I still hope and pray for more children. I believe that Mother Teresa understood God's heart when she said there can never be too many children.

This past Sunday was our church potluck. My daughter was up late the night before baking and meticulously decorating cupcakes for the potluck. Upon entering the church, a lady asked my daughter if she could help her bring her cupcakes downstairs to the kitchen. She dropped my daughter's cupcakes down the stairs. It was heartbreaking. All that work. Each cupcake featured a different design. Tears and apologies followed. The lady offered the suggesting that God was stretching my daughter (to show grace and forgive). I only saw the ruined cupcakes lying in the steps. Of course, forgiveness was important in this moment. But, human error had ruined hours of hard work. Human error sends cupcakes flying down the church steps. In the end, some cupcakes survived the ordeal, much to my daughter's relief! Cupcakes and children are two different things (although you might often find these two together!). And, human error, when it comes to cupcakes, is a small thing to be sure. But, how often humans can make the error of underestimating the value of children in God's eyes. Mother Teresa, despite never being a biological mother, understood a scriptural truth about children: more is better!

Julie-Anne

Swimming UPstream

2009-11-06T11:25:00.005-05:00

Efraim, our newest little guy.

My older children are doing a writing program for homeschooling (One Year Adventure Novel) and today's lesson talked about how we should not wait for inspiration before we write. We should, instead, discipline ourselves to write - whether we feel like it or not! It's always good to model to our children what we want them to learn! I tend to treat my writing like that. If I feel uber inspired (and if I find a block of free time), I write. I treat my journaling and my blogging and all other writing like this. So, as my children learn discipline in writing (they're actually working on a novel this year), I decided I could use a dose of discipline in that area too!

Thanks to all who have been praying for my midwife. She is really doing well and has felt the Lord's comfort in a real way! I am realizing more and more as I journey through motherhood that we need the Lord in so many ways! So much of what the Lord has been revealing to me as His plan for motherhood has been challenged and come under attack. Some of the challenges come from physical limitations, fear of the unknown, lack of courage, lack of faith. Attacks come in the form of criticisms and judgements, stereotyping etc. It's like swimming upstream, constantly. Giving up means going the other way, following other ideals and values, carried by the current of the masses.

We can encourage each other to persevere. Mostly, we can call upon the Lord, the One whose strength is made perfect in our weakness. May He strengthen us and reaffirm His plan for our mothering. May He be our source and our guide everyday.

Love,

Julie-Anne

Please pray!

2009-08-23T14:00:00.002-05:00

I'm just doing a quick post to ask if you could pray for my midwife who just lost her baby. She was almost 6 months pregnant. She also lost her last child... who passed away at 7 months of age. We are heartbroken for her. We have desired so much to shine God's light and share His love with her throughout our care with her in this past pregnancy. She is wonderful, and like the faithful midwives in Moses' day, she has cared for and helped many of God's people birth their babies. May He remember her and bless her womb again. She has one daughter.

Thank you so much,

Julie-Anne

Introducing Efraim!

2009-07-29T10:46:00.003-05:00

I wanted to share the news with you that our sweet baby boy has arrived!

Efraim Aaron Mauno

July 23rd at 10:45pm
8lbs 7.2 ounces

Each birth has been so different. This one was long and hard and yet a "gentle" and "slow" progression of all the stages of labour. I felt on the evening of the 22nd that I might be close to labour. At 3am of the 23rd, I thought I might have had a small break in my membranes and I began having stronger contractions. They were far apart but I knew that my body was beginning to bring this baby into our arms. We called our midwife and decided to go to my sister-in-law's appartment and stay there until things progressed. Johanna lives 5 mins. away from my midwife and 10 mins away from the hospital. That was more comforting than the 1 hour distance from our home. At 7am, I was at about 4cm. We went to rest at the appartment and my husband and I had a lovely, peaceful morning together. Just before lunch, things had slowed down but contractions -although far apart- were still hurting. We went for a walk after lunch and things picked up again only to slow down during the rest of the afternoon. By 5pm, my contractions were getting stronger and closer together. I was 5 - 6 cm. Honestly, I was so surprised at how SLOWLY things were progressing considering it had gone so fast with my 4th child. We headed off to the hospital and I was experiencing a lot pain. By 7pm, I was in transition and stayed there for a few hours. I tried so hard to breathe in a controlled way but I admit there were tears, desperate prayers and the occasional cry for help! Labour can be such an intense process! By 10pm, I was at 10cm and my membranes still had not ruptured - even though we thought it might have at 3am. We waited for the urge to push and this was my most difficult passage I think. At 10:30pm I really started pushing and 15 minutes later our sweet baby was born. I actually gave birth on hands and knees and I could not stand to rest any part of my pelvis on anything. Efraim is our biggest baby yet by almost 1 lb. His head measures about 3cm more than the average baby. My midwife thinks this is why it may have been so hard on me. But, she describes the birth as a good one. A birth where my body did all the work it needed to do on its own in its own time. Despite having a big baby, I needed no stitches and my recovery has been amazing. I did not have any interventions either! Only by the grace of God. I should mention that when we found out we were having another boy, I prayed that the Lord would help us name him. After a couple of days of reflection and prayer, I found the name Ephraim. It stuck to my heart (so to speak) and I later asked my husband about the name. He said he had been thinking of the exact same name. We knew the Lord was helping us name him. We looked up the meaning and the story in the Bible behind the name and we were amazed. Ephraim was Joseph's second son and he named him Ephraim saying "God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction". I had tears and knew the the Lord was declaring his promise of fruitfulness through this baby and also for this baby. The part about the land of my affliction seemed fitting considering our difficult journey this past year. The name Aaron came the day after he was born and means "light bearer".

Thank you Lord for:

1-no interventions
2-being able to have my midwife at the birth
3-having 2 home visits with my midwife before her time away
4-not having the baby wisked away to nursery for needles with strangers
5-having the midwife tell me that my uterus is doing so well... she says I'm beating some first time moms for how well my uterus is recovering!
6-getting to the hospital in time for 2 doses of anti-biotics as I was strep B positive (it's not a cure all but it does help prevent transmission to baby)
7-having my membranes intact until the pushing stage: additional barrier to protect baby from strep B
8-getting through the birth
9-my husband who so encouraged and loved me through it
10-a restful first week of postpartum (who'd have thought I'd have my most restful postpartum with my fifth child!)
11-spending the next week with my mom enjoying Efraim and all the children
12-my husband taking 1 month of parental leave starting next week
13-my mother-in-law who so faithfully drops by everyday to do laundry or wash the floor
14-my beautiful, sweet, healthy baby Efraim
15-my beautiful, sweet family
16-peace
17-fruitfulness!
18-my sister-in-law's appartment which allowed me to labour out of the hospital for much of the day
19-having only a first degree tear despite Efraim being bigger and considering the size of his head!
20-all of God's blessings

Love,

Julie-Anne :)

Labour Pains

2009-07-23T09:29:00.002-05:00

Well, I'm in labour! But, it's a slow process at the moment. I'm almost half way there with strong but few contractions. I'm resting and enjoying the slowness of it all. Lots of peace with this one. Funny how I posted about the timing of birth just last night! God is so faithful. I'll make the announcement when our sweetie arrives!

Love,

Julie-Anne

The Timing of Birth

2009-07-22T20:55:00.002-05:00

I'm waiting, day by day, to see when this little sweetie will make his appearance. I've had a couple of false alarms. And, you would think by baby #5 that I would know better. But, my body tends to do a lot of prep work and then a fast birth. My concerns have been that I would make it to the hospital on time (it's a full hour's drive), that if my husband is at work we can connect quickly, that my midwife could be there (she's away for 3 days starting on the day after my due date), that I would know when it's really time (my false alarms can be very intense and I don't want to wait until I'm almost pushing to leave!), that everything falls into place.

So, I've been praying my list of things for this birth. And, while I believe that I should be specific and come to the Lord with all of my requests, I'm reminded that it's another exercise in surrender. The Bible tells us that the Lord appoints the time of birth. I know He hears me and understands my needs in all of this. But, I started thinking that if He would have someone else care for me at my birth, I should try and be open to that. Ultimately, I want to somehow shine His light at the birth. I want the staff to be blessed by my husband and I and the arrival of our baby. I'm not sure if I'll have the strength to do that. But, I want to show kindness. Luke chapter 6 reminded me of our responsibility towards others, involving showing love and kindness, generosity and blessing... and all of this even to our enemies. I've had plenty of hurtful experiences with nurses during a birth. And, in this culture of medicated birth, it is important to be firm about my values regarding natural birth. I don't like being yelled at when I'm pushing "PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!". I'm not a football player or an olympic athlete. I don't need that kind of coaching. But, I can still manage to show grace while protecting my values... at least I hope so.

I'll definitely announce the baby's arrival here as soon as it happens! In the meantime, I'll try and be patient and give the Lord the final say.

Julie-Anne :)

Growing

2009-07-14T08:54:00.006-05:00

These last 2 years or so have been a season of painful but necessary "growing-up" in the Lord. One of the ongoing lessons in my life continues to be: learning selflessness. It's been deep stuff like facing my disappointments and reconciling them with the REALITY and TRUTH that God is good, compassionate and cares personally about me even though He's allowed some disappointments. I've had such a hard time relating to friends and family through this all-consuming season. My writing has taken a back seat - I didn't expect it to as much as it has - because I'm working so hard on caring for my family and walking through this time of slow, difficult growth. I've found that many around me don't seem to relate to some of the challenges which have come my way. But, I'm really thankful for people who have shown me love and patience through it all.

I'm also 38 weeks pregnant now. It's been a very different pregnancy, a very challenging pregnancy. I'm here, waiting for this little one to come into our lives. I've been busy preparing everything for baby and for after the baby comes. I've sorted and washed baby clothes, baby blankets. I've set up the bassinette. I've decided to do some cloth diapering so I've been hunting down some good deals on cloth diapers on some local online trading posts. I've done lots of baking for the freezer and I have 14 meals in the freezer so far. Did you know that a great way to freeze cookies is to prepare the dough, roll it into balls, freeze the balls on cookie sheets and then put the frozen dough balls in a ziplock bag? I've come up with a few time savers like grinding a big ziplock bag's worth of wheat flour and placing it in the freezer so I can use a cup here and there when I need it. I've also discovered that it's almost just as easy to bake 12 loaves of bread at once as it would be 2 loaves.

Some of the life lessons I've learned or am daily learning is that selflessness is the key to good motherhood and that motherhood is a journey in selflessness --selflessness is also a part of discipleship and Christlikeness. I'm learning that children need unconditional love and age-appropriate expectations. That parenting requires patience --not just the obvious patience-- but patience to wait for the fruit of all our teaching and training. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither will my child's character. I'm learning to abandon all to Him. And, ALL means that I'm discovering many things along the way that need surrendering. I still have so much to learn and many of these lessons are a daily journey.

I had many ideas for blog posts this past year. But, I could never seem to find the time and have a clear mind to devote to writing. When a lady told me she had a "feeling" about the gender of this baby and my future, it got me thinking about divination and what the Bible has to say about superstition and divination. When we are expecting a baby, it seems that people with divining spirits try to speak on our future and about the baby. Avoid it. And, even if your baby turns out to be the gender they predicted, know that the Lord your God is the one who determined it and He should be the only one whose voice you are listening for. (Psalm 29)

I wanted to write a post about freezing foods for your postpartum. There are a couple of great books out there with great recipes. I've used "The Big Cook" (http://www.thebigcook.com/) and "Don't Panic, Dinner's in the Freezer" --this one includes recipes for baking, bread, side dishes etc. I actually participated in a group cooking event where you paid a certain amount and came away with 28 meals for the freezer. But, it turned out to be expensive, involved too many canned ingredients, was an exhausting day away from my family and included recipes that turned out to be (not) a hit. So, I prefer to make 2-4 copies of recipes I know my family will like and substitute some of the canned ingredients for frozen or fresh ingredients. The greatest thing I learned in all of this process is that you can easily freeze any of your own recipes. You just have to combine uncooked ingredients like your meat and some of the freezable veggies, sauce or marinade in a large freezer ziploc bag. Then, you can pop it into a slow-cooker or even the oven or the bbq (depending on what it is) when you need it. Some ingredients you should add only on cooking day include potatoes, pasta, rice.

As I wait for this baby, I'm unsure of the challenges I'll face. I know I've complained far too much during these difficult 9 months. I've done nothing to earn the priviledge of being this sweet baby's mother. I pray for more children but I know that it will depend on the mercy and loving-kindness of the Lord. I pray that the Lord will couple my fruitful womb with a fruitful heart, spirit and walk with Him. Because the fruit in my own life can take more than 9 months to ripen!

Blessings dear ladies :)

Julie-Anne

Great Expectations

2009-04-05T20:40:00.004-05:00

Life can be a struggle. You find yourself barely hanging on. Read blogs and websites about how to be a great mother, overcome your weaknesses, be consistent, excel. But, real life trudges on with twists and turns and hard moments. Disappointments. Frustrations. Guilt. It all piles up into one big mountain. A dark one. How do you move it? You try to forget it but it hits you in the face every morning. Sometimes before you even get out of bed.

There is One who can move mountains.

I've been fighting my way through this past year. Hanging on at times. Like birth, 2 steps forward, 1 step back! I carried with me my bag of expectations...the things that I felt God would do for me and the things I thought He should do for me. I looked for relief in life, circumstances, doing. I, I, I.

My husband and I made our way to a wonderful hospital that is reputed for giving expecting parents a really great ultra-sound experience. I came with expectations. I knew how I wanted my family to take shape. 3 boys. 1 girl. It's time for another girl Lord. And, then , you know it... the ultra-sound technician says "another boy". I'm surprised. But, I make an on-the-spot decision that I won't allow myself to indulge in feelings of being forgotten by the Lord.

All weekend, I pray and cry and press in with the Lord. And, I pondered the words that came to my spirit and heart when I had first walked into that ultra-sound room.

Surrender to the Lord.

All along I've been sharing with people that this fifth pregnancy is a step that my husband and I took to give the Lord more control over our family. As I thought about my new little boy and prayed, I knew I had to surrender. After all, didn't I want God to build my family? YES! Didn't I want His plan for us? YES!

That weekend, the Lord gave me strength and help to put down my bag of expectations once again. I completely surrendered to His plans for me, once again. But, it wasn't defeat. Because when I gave up my expectations, I was filled with His hope, His peace and His joy. Oh I can't wait to hold this sweet little boy!!! Another boy!! YES!! And, I started believing in His promises again. That dark mountain I mentioned earlier was moved.
David wrote "[What, what would have become of me] had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living!" Psalm 27:13 I was walking down that road. The mountain, the burdens. I started to think that His goodness would somehow escape me! When you start to think that you won't see His goodness in your life, what becomes of you is despair, hopelessness and discouragement.

But, the Word tells us "Oh, how great is Your goodness, which You have laid up for those who fear, revere, and worship You, goodness which You have wrought for those who trust and take refuge in You before the sons of men!" Psalm 31:19

I experienced surrender and hope that weekend. I experienced His goodness! My gender expectations turned into wonder and joy at how God Himself is building our family in His purposes.

He is my refuge. He moves my mountains. He replaces my disappointments with HOPE and turns my sorrow into JOY.

Oh Boy! :)

Julie-Anne :)

"Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord." Psalm 27:14

Update on Mathias

2009-04-01T18:57:00.002-05:00

Today, we feel as though we are living a New Testament type of miracle. Last night, both my husband and I feared that we might lose Mathias to influenza. He was horribly sick, getting worse, and on day 16. When we called a friend for prayer, she suggested that maybe the zithromax antibiotic they had put him on before they realized it was viral (they wanted us to finish the course anyways) was making him more ill. Side effects of zithromax include stomach pain and nausea, all of which our son complained much about. It could also explain why, even in the hospital, he would go from being well to very ill almost every day.

Whatever the reason for his turn-around (whether it be the end of his zithromax meds or other unknown factors), I believe that Jesus touched our son. So much prayer happened last night for our very sick little boy. And, today, that same little boy was playing with his toys and laughing.

Please keep him in prayer a little while longer until he is fully well. Thank you so much for your prayers.

Julie-Anne :)

Need Prayer

2009-03-31T17:30:00.002-05:00

I am enlisting prayer from blog friends. Our four year old has viral pneumonia caused by influenza. He spent four days in the hospital. We came home yesterday. He seemed to be improving but the last couple of days have not been so good. He has moments of seeming to feel better. But, mostly, he stays in bed, complains about how he doesn't feel well or sleeps. He typically is our most active boy. I am now really a mess about all of this. We are on day 16 and he seems to be getting worse. I don't have time or skill to make a fancy button. But, please spread the word to friends you know can and will pray for our precious Mathias.

Thank you so much,

Julie-Anne

The Real Challenges of Motherhood

2009-03-06T11:11:00.003-05:00

The last several months have been some of the most difficult months I have lived through in some time. I'm not sure if I've ever been this sick before. There were some dark moments of feeling very helpless. My kitchen became cold for my lack of cooking and baking. The children watched me lie down at all times of the day. The house became messy. I had a lot of time to think, pray, and like Job, lament to God.

We have spent so many years telling the general public that pregnancy is NOT an illness. But, what happens when expecting moms are very sick? I believe that my experience is not uncommon. Because, what happened to me is that I received a lot of well-meaning comments like "I hope you feel better soon." or "I'm praying for you." But, do you know what I desperately needed? I needed people. I needed someone to bring me the occasional meal for my family. I needed someone to call and encourage me. I needed someone to come and HELP me. I did have one very close friend who made arrangements one morning for her 3 little ones to have supervision and she brought some food and helped me with some cleaning. It was a true encouragement and a true example of how we should help each other in the body of Christ.

Having a fifth child is a step of faith for us. I have always wanted a big family. And, I was so excited to find that a house "full of children" is on God's heart too. A few years ago, I discovered the quiverfull movement through various blogs. I loved how these couples were allowing the Lord to choose their family size. We are not ourselves quiverfull as my husband and I are taking it one step at a time. We do, however, want to give the Lord more control in the area of family size and this fifth pregnancy is definitely the fruit of that. I am meeting more couples who are doing the same as we are. They have never heard of the "quiverfull" movement nor would they fit all the prescribed guidelines. But, the Holy Spirit is leading their hearts, God is blessing wombs and families are growing.

I have discovered the physical challenges of having a 'bigger' family first-hand. I recently read on a blog that one common myth about being "quiverfull" is that people think that it is physically hard on a woman's body to have many children. The writer simply stated that if women led an active and healthy lifestyle there would be no challenges. This is like saying to mountain climbers that, really, there are no risks to climbing Mount Everest if you are healthy and strong. Hmmm. At the age of 32, I have experienced some physical challenges due to many pregnancies. They continue to create challenges for me. These challenges can be overcome and God has even brought some physical restoration. Now, it's not that having many children is a goal we should avoid for fear that our bodies will suffer. But, there is so much mis-information out there about pregnancy and childbirth. I have always made it my goal while working in this field to be HONEST with moms about all aspects of having children. It's so important to be real. We can be true witnesses of Christ's work in our hearts if we are honest about the challenges.

There's no need to gloss things over. Motherhood can be hard at times. Having many pregnancies can present unique challenges. But, we can celebrate the truth that it truly is a gift from God who gently leads us during these tender and challenging years of childbearing. We can share how God has helped us through the many challenges. And, maybe, we can make an effort to live truthfully, encouraging each other and helping each other as much as we can. Then the world will know God is in this motherhood thing by the way we love each other.

Warm blessings,

Julie-Anne :)

Kreative Blog Award

2009-02-09T13:08:00.004-05:00

I have been on a blog reading and writing break, due in part to how sick I have been with this pregnancy. But, I wanted to thank Tina for awarding me the Kreative Blog Award. I have not really been reading any blogs lately. However, I am putting up this post to acknowledge Tina's generosity in giving me this award. :)

Julie-Anne

Riches

2008-11-30T17:22:00.002-05:00

God can make a poor man rich. But, He might not do it the way you think. He might actually use means that so-called prosperity preachers would never consider.

Recently, the Lord did this for an old farming couple I know. They have worked hard all their lives. They have small means. They own their land and farming equipment, yes. But, their modest farmhouse is hardly something you would see in a "House and Home" magazine. They have very little "material" stuff to show for their hard work.

Yet, when my in-laws shared with their relatives in Finland the news that their fifth grandchild was on the way, my mother-in-law's brother exclaimed "Boy, you are RICH!". My father-in-law agreed. "Yes", he said. "I was thinking the same thing. We ARE rich!".

In Psalm 127, Solomon tells us that children are God's reward. One translation puts it this way... "Don't you see that children are God's best gift?". The world views children as a hinderance to riches. But, somewhere in Northern Ontario Canada, the Lord chose to make a modest farming couple rich by blessing them with the heritage and reward of a fifth grandchild.

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9

How do you announce a fifth baby?

2008-11-24T21:00:00.003-05:00

I've been trying to figure out the answer to that question this past week. We've shared our news with some people over the phone. But, I thought I would get a little creative this time with some of our relatives. This year, I started a blog for the sole purpose of displaying everyone's Christmas lists. On my side of the family, everyone puts together a list. It's not my favourite thing. I think it's because I enjoy spontaneity so much. But, it does help grandparents and aunts and uncles with ideas for gifts for the children. Starting a Christmas Wishes blog was a way for me to make this list thing more personal and more fun. As I was posting the last of the lists, I came up with a fun idea. I decided to post one last list for the new baby :) The text in yellow is what I borrowed from this site and the rest I added to personalize. I wanted to share it with you:

One last LIST:

I do not have a face to see,
Or put inside a frame.
I do not have soft cheeks to kiss.
I don't yet have a name.
Not yet can you hold my tiny hands,
Nor whisper in my ear.
It's still too soon to sing a song,
Or cuddle me so near.
But all that will change come this July
When they say I am due.
I am the newest Mauno child
And I can't wait until I meet you!

Now for the LIST:

All I ask between now and then Is your love for me to grow. I promise I'll be worth the wait; Just think of all the joy we'll know!
So as you're waiting patiently, Please pray lots of prayers for me. I cannot wait to be a part Of this wonderful family!
When people say of me, WOW... #5! Smile and marvel just like my mom and dad, tell them I am God's best gift and how you are SO glad!
When people wonder how my parents will ensure our growing family's needs are met, remind them of God's promise to provide which He won't soon forget!
And, if you're wondering if I'm a girl or yet another boy! Don't worry and know that you can rest. Because it was God's decision and He gives the very best!

God-Inspired Moments

2008-11-17T00:05:00.003-05:00

I heard a story from the Operation Christmas Child program recently. They distributed over 7 million boxes to children around the world last year. There are many stories. But, one particular story really touched me. It's the story of a little girl who had only one pair of shoes. Her shoes were too big for her and her father would have to try different things to get her shoes to stay on her feet. She received an OCC box. Inside this box was a brand new pair of shoes that fit her perfectly. 7 million boxes. One little girl. The perfect pair of shoes. The right box. This is the God we serve. Such a PERSONAL God!! Such a CARING God!!

Recently, an older lady at our church told me she was knitting for my family. She said she felt it was the Lord prompting her to do so. The next week, she handed me a bag full of knitted hats and mittens of all sizes and colours. It was a God-inspired moment but maybe not for the reasons you might think. It's not that I lacked hats and mittens for the children. But, let me just say that as a phlegmatic mother, I am not always the most organized. When the cold first hits, I don't have all the hats and mitts out for the children. I might not even be able to find a matching pair on the first day of snow. And, this is often a source of frustration for me. It makes me feel inadequate as a mom. Mothering can be overwhelming. There, I said it. Yes, overwhelming. Especially for the phlegmatic moms who might lack the will to be on top of things. And, the thought comes. What will I do if the Lord gives me more children? More unpaired mittens? More lost hats? How will I manage? Ah, here comes the good part. You see, when God asks someone to knit hats and mittens for a mom like me who is stressing about not having her act together and not being able to keep her mittens paired, He is saying:

Julie, I will help you do this. I can supply the hats and mittens. Don't worry about the lost mittens. Don't feel small because of your weaknesses. Lean on me and rely on my strength. Because, I will supply all your needs. And, I can order mittens for the next baby too. :)

It was a God-inspired moment. Because, He is so awesome. What have your God moments been like?

Julie-Anne :)

The Faces of Motherhood

2008-11-07T10:52:00.006-05:00

I was reading someone's blog the other day. And, while our values are mostly the same, I could tell she was definitely wired differently than me. In studying the personalities, I have come to understand myself much better. I also understand people around me and why we click or clash. I understand why some people thrive in areas I feel overwhelmed in and vice versa. This has helped me in pursuing peace with others and with myself. We are all wired a certain way. Being mindful of this when reading blogs or going to the local play group will help ease the guilt! It can also be an important tool in understanding our children, how we relate to them and why we might connect with one child more than another.

The Sanguine.

This woman is usually very social, outgoing, fun and loveable. She loves to be around people and enjoys social events. She is kind, emotional and very sensitive. As a mother, she will be in tune with her children's emotions. She has big ideas, too. But, often, she struggles to follow through and complete those big ideas. This is, in part, because she often bites off more than she can chew. She may find it difficult to follow through on being consistent with discipline, brushing her children's teeth twice a day everyday etc. She thrives on spontaneity and struggles with routine. She often starts strong and gets bored easily, moving onto the next exciting idea without completing the previous one. She is the quilter with a closet full of unfinished quilts, the mother with more projects on the go than finished ones. This woman loves to talk and would rather have a cup of tea (i.e., fellowship) with family and friends than most anything else. She loves people and is usually loved by people. She cares much about others.

The Powerful Choleric.

This woman is a DOER. She accomplishes massive amounts of things. She works hard and often works fast. She is not as mindful of the details as much as getting things done. This woman can make other women feel like they are under-accomplishing. She is often a little bossy but knows how to get things done. She can be abrupt or direct at times. She can also seem insensitive. She is the woman who walks 5 miles every morning, farms, sews, knits, bakes her own bread, mills her own grain, grows her own grain etc. She never seems to stop. She has an incredible amount of stamina. She likes to tell others how to do things. This woman is the ultimate "how-to" person. Her blog might feature lots of e-books on "how to do..." or "how to eat...". She is a mother who can teach her children how to do things, many things. She amazes most of us. She can be overwhelming at times but is a valuable resource to her family and friends. We can learn a lot from her as she is usually right. She is not as sensitive or governed by her emotions. But, she can sometimes be insensitive towards others' feelings as well (or shall we say not as perceptive).

The Perfect Melancholic.

This woman is meticulous and thrives on organization. She would rather get one thing done meticulously than 20 things done a little messy like her powerful choleric friend. She loves detail. She is not bold like the sanguine but might be drawn to soft colours, more traditional styles of clothing. She is frustrated when someone does not follow her specific way of doing things. This woman may seem melancholic at times. She may be quiet and somewhat of an intravert. She is a thinker. She can be negative at times, often seeing the challenges each new idea presents. Some might say she is a realist. Her budget is organized, her closet is organized and her life is organized. She doesn't take many chances. She's not usually spontaneous. She doesn't rush into things. As a mother, she can teach her children how to do things WELL. She may not be as flexible as her phlegmatic friend. But, her organization skills provide some of the peace a phlegmatic often craves.

The Peaceful Phlegmatic.

This mother loves peace. She is a peace-lover and a peace-maker. She does not have loads of stamina and often craves rest. She is also a shape-shifter. In other words, she is very flexible and easy going. She can adapt to all types of situations and people. She is motivated to create peace and will often accomodate others to accomplish this. The powerful choleric woman would cause others to accomodate her while the peaceful phlegmatic would almost always accomodate others. She can lose herself in all of the accomodating, often going along with others for the sake of peace. She is very considerate of others' feelings and needs. She can wear many hats due to her flexiblity. She may not be as industrious as the choleric but she is very caring and usually super easy-going! Simplicity is this woman's best friend.

Most people have a mix of two of these personalities. I am a phlegmatic/sanguine. This means I love peace, I love people, but I lack stamina and stick-to-it power. I feel overwhelmed by powerful cholerics who accomplish so much more than I do and often fade into the background when around them in the name of peace. I live life with emotion and sincerity. I get frustrated by routines and instruction manuals and rigid "how to" guidelines :). When I visit a "Doer's" blog I almost always feel inferior and inadequate, knowing I could never accomplish all of those things. But, I am tenderhearted towards people and am very good at showing people compassion, love and thoughtfulness. Some of my famous sanguine moments include:

...trying to sew 4 bride's maid's dresses with no prior dressmaking experience or knowledge! When I finally had to bring my unfinished dresses to a real dressmaker, she laughed at me! So, it's an E for effort!

...buying over 300 lbs of wheat before I even had a mill because I wanted to make my own flour and my own bread. Most of it still sits in bins today!

:) Now you know me a little better. For more info on the personalities, I highly recommend the book "Wired that Way" by Marita Littauer.

"If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Romans 12:18

Note: because everyone has a unique mix of these personalities, you might not identify with every illustration I gave. But, I bet you can see yourself, even if just a glimpse! :)

Thanksgiving!

2008-10-13T21:30:00.005-05:00

Up here in Canada, we just celebrated our Thanksgiving weekend. I am overwhelmed with thankfulness to the Lord for His goodness, His mercy, His love, His abundant provision in my life. I just had to share a few pics of some of the abundance we enjoyed this year... and it all came to us for free!

Blessings!

Leaning

2008-10-04T23:01:00.003-05:00

"Who is among you who [reverently] fears the Lord, who obeys the voice of His Servant, yet who walks in darkness and deep trouble and has no shining splendor [in his heart]? Let him rely on, trust in, and be confident in the name of the Lord, and let him lean upon and be supported by his God." Isaiah 50:10

One of the things I have found to be particularly difficult when I'm going through a bluesy postpartum is perspective. It's hard to get a hold of and hang onto it. You hear of someone else's tragedy and you heart spins a web of fear and anxiety. You get tangled up in every challenge, even minor ones. You lose hope. You begin to feel darkness and despair. It doesn't mean that you aren't blissfully in love with your babies and your children and your husband. It just means that you are in a rough patch, working your way through. And, in the thick of it, as you deal with all of the information that is being downloaded to you through life, you lose perspective. You feel overwhelmed. You're swimming as though your life depended on it only you're standing in 5 inches of water. If you are here, there is only one thing to do. Actually, there are two things to do.

First: lean on God.

Second: lean not on your own understanding.

Everything else is up to Him.

"Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding." Proverbs 3:5

Love,

Julie-Anne

The Postpartum Rainbow

2008-09-16T09:32:00.009-05:00

As my youngest turned one, I became very reflective on the past year. I know that it has not been easy. It has been an uphill journey. I want to be able to say that I got through it with "flying colours". But, actually, my year has been coloured with a rainbow of hues, including, yes, the blues.

You know, there are two different camps on postpartum blues/depression. One camp says that it is a clinical condition that requires medical attention. And, I am not saying that this camp should be ignored. But, there is a process a woman goes through in postpartum which can fall into the second camp. This camp believes that postpartum blues can be a part of the normal adjustment to life with a new baby and the process of grief as the family dynamics change. A postpartum mom is also not immune to outside stressors. These can affect your journey as well.

One of the most difficult struggles I faced in my early postpartum was a bladder prolapse. I felt devastated. I wondered in despair if I would ever be able to have more children. The healing from birth has been particularly long this time around. And, I would say I had a birth with low physical trauma overall. I despaired over not feeling normal physically for so long. Everytime I tried to strengthen my body with exercise or activity, my prolapse would act up. I felt my whole world had changed. I am so pleased to give honour and praise to the Lord for His healing in this area. This condition has mostly resolved itself with the hand of the Lord and the passage of time.

All the while, a major spiritual process has been taking place in my life. When I was hit with unexpected challenges in my year-long recovery after birth this time, I began to fear that giving God full control of my fertility would be too hard. I want to say how amazed I am at how clear the scriptures are about how God views our fertility. But, what happens when having children is HARD? I was dealing with this very question. Many have quoted the scripture about our bodies being living sacrifices. This is a good scripture. But, there is more at work here. I have learned that the challenges of motherhood (both physical and emotional) are an avenue by which we can learn that His strength is made perfect in our weakness. It is here that we learn to hide under His wings, wait on Him, put our hope in Him and surrender to Him. We should never shy away from having children because it's "hard".

Biblical living is not easy. But, I don't think it was meant to be easy. I think that when I was expecting our latest precious baby, I was in the honeymoon phase of biblical living. This phrasing makes me laugh but it describes it so well! I was learning about modesty, biblical motherhood, virtuous womanhood... and I was so excited! Yes, I was excited about modesty. Because the truth sets us free and it was life to my soul to be learning and applying these truths. In the face of daily challenges, I will admit that my excitement faded. It became challenging to be set apart.

So, with a challenging postpartum year behind me, I can see how the Lord has been teaching me so many things, perfecting in me these virtues. There have been so many tears and frustrations. But, the Lord continues to reach out to me in love through His Word and through those around me. And, his rewards are sweet...

Make Your Own Double Stroller!

2008-08-14T22:21:00.003-05:00

I wanted to participate in Frugal Fridays hosted by Biblicalwomanhoodonline.com. This spring, I had been praying for a stroller with a toddler step or a toddler seat so that I could take advantage of the warm weather and go walking with my children every day. We saw one on a local online trading post but it was quite expensive, even though it was used. I knew the Lord wanted me to wait. So, I asked him to provide and I waited. How many times have I rushed ahead and purchased something that was offered to me for free just days or weeks after I made that purchase! Too many times to count. To my delight, the Lord provided a Brio stroller for free (worth hundreds of dollars) with a toddler step in early July!! However, I wanted to share with you the solution I used while I waited! I had a regular stroller and an umbrella stroller. I decided to use receiving blankets to tie the umbrella stroller to the regular stroller (side-by-side). I straddled the wheels so they would not rub together. It worked very well! I went for many walks with my two youngest boys this way. And, it didn't cost me a penny! Because I asked the Lord to provide and waited for it, I got the Brio stroller and toddler step without cost to me as well. So, really, this tip is two-fold. Ask the Lord to provide, and don't be afraid to improvise in the waiting!

Love,

Julie-Anne

Walking in the Light

2008-07-30T20:54:00.004-05:00

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a dedicated nation, [God's] own purchased, special people, that you may set forth the wonderful deeds and display the virtues and perfections of Him Who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." 1Peter 2 :9

How can we be set apart? How can we set forth the wonderful deeds and display the virtues and perfections of Him? How can we walk in His marvelous light?

I believe it starts in our hearts.

"But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God." 1 Peter 3: 4

It should be reflected in how we dress.

"Also [I desire] that women should adorn themselves modestly and appropriately and sensibly in seemly apparel, not with [elaborate] hair arrangement or gold or pearls or expensive clothing,
But by doing good deeds (deeds in themselves good and for the good and advantage of those contacted by them), as befits women who profess reverential fear for and devotion to God."
1 Timothy 2: 9-10

It should be evident in our actions towards our husband.

"Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands." Ephesians 5: 22-24

"The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil. She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her." Proverbs 31:11-12

It should affect how we handle our fertility and how we surrender it to the Lord. Who is building our house?

"EXCEPT THE Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; except the Lord keeps the city, the watchman wakes but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to take rest late, to eat the bread of [anxious] toil--for He gives [blessings] to His beloved in sleep. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. As arrows are in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy, blessed, and fortunate is the man whose quiver is filled with them! They will not be put to shame when they speak with their adversaries [in gatherings] at the [city's] gate." Psalm 127

It should flow from our words.

"She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction]." Proverbs 31:26

It should be evident in our strength.

"Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure;" Proverbs 31:25

Our work should set forth fruit.

"She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust]." Proverbs 31:18

It should be evident in our attitude about tomorrow.

"... she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]!" Proverbs 31:25

Let us walk fully in His marvelous light!

Young Olive Shoots

2008-06-08T14:32:00.004-05:00

Parenting has been very challenging lately. My husband and I have sought the Lord and spent many evenings trying to come up with solutions to various challenges that have arised. At one point, we both began to feel like having any more children would be too hard. As we struggled with our older children, we felt a sense of failure... would we want more children to engage us in the same struggles as they got older? Did we want to "fail" over and over?

I have been praying about the next step in our family size. I have been seeking the Lord. A few days ago, I was planting lettuce seeds outside. I was on my knees, trying to make well-spaced, just-at-the-right-depth holes in little rows I had marked with small sticks. I began trying to drop these tiny seeds, one at a time, in the little holes along the rows. The black flies were biting me and getting into my clothes. My hands were full of dirt. Every time I tried to sweep a fly away from my face, I was getting dirt on myself! I was sweating and my bug bites were beginning to sting. Just a few more rows, I thought. My knees got sore, my fingernails got dirty, my arms began to feel really heavy!

It's the first time I ever seeded a small patch of garden. Boy, was it ever hard work! As I knelt there, exhausted, the Lord shone a light in my heart. This is what having and raising children is like. HARD WORK. But, just as my work with the lettuce seeds will bear fruit, our hard work with our children will bear fruit. It's worth it. And, why should we shy away from it? Every time I water my patch of lettuce, it reminds me of the work I am called to do with my children. It reminds me of the fruit that is coming. It reminds me to open my heart to more children and to the work that comes with raising them.

"Your wife will bear children as a vine bears grapes, your household lush as a vineyard, The children around your table as fresh and promising as young olive shoots. Stand in awe of God's Yes. Oh, how he blesses the one who fears God! Psalm 128: 3-4 (The Message)

Strive or Rest?

2008-06-04T11:09:00.005-05:00

I knew how to be successful in the workforce. You just have to strive, stRIVE, STRIVE! But, I am learning that, in motherhood, the "formula" is quite different. If you want to be successful in motherhood, you have to REST, REst, rest!

If I take time to sit with my babies, lie down for a nap with them, get to bed early etc., I find I am much more productive, happy and hopeful each day. I have also discovered that if I take ONE day a week to rest from all my housework and regular activities, I am much more refreshed! And, I try and do this on Sundays. But, if I am in the kitchen for a church potluck or if I have an outing that day, I actually try and take another quiet day during the week. It doesn't always work out. Some weeks are MOST definitely busier than others. I still get up with little ones in the middle of the night. Even so, I need to seek out and seize opportunities for rest...even if these opportunities are afforded to me only in little bits of time throughout the days and week.

When I neglect my rest, my mothering always suffers. My walk with the Lord even suffers.

If I take time to rest physically, I usually find spiritual peace more readily.

Take time to rest dear mothers and discover the blessings that await you and your family!

Sluggish

2008-06-01T10:30:00.004-05:00

I feel God pushing me to mature. I was reading this morning in the book of Hebrews about sluggish faith (Hebrews 5:11-14) I feel God pushing me to develop my inward adorning as described in 1Peter 3.

As Mothers, it is so vital that we allow the maturing process of our faith to occur. As we feed our babes milk and watch them grow, it is so important that we too grow beyond that stage of spiritual milk.

If you have the priviledge to listen to the stories of a mature woman in Christ, you will understand what I mean. Wide-eyed, I wonder as I listen to their stories how it is that I might come to know Christ so intimately, experience His comfort so strongly, walk in faith so freely and instinctively.

But, it IS the work that Christ is trying to perform in me as well. As my children grow, let me be reminded of the spiritual growth that needs to take place in me. As I WORK to help my children grow, let me work towards spiritual growth as well!

Draw Near

2008-05-31T15:47:00.002-05:00

"Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take." Joshua 1:9 (The Message)

I've been discouraged lately. I'm not sure if it's the viral infection I am battling, the recent sleepless nights or the new challenges we are facing as our oldest children are in pre-teen mode. Maybe it's all the rain we've been having. Still, when I'm discouraged, I tend to look down, not UP. I tend to feel, like Naomi in the book of Ruth, that there is no hope. I actually said to my husband on the cell phone, Hon, there is no hope for me. I was met with silence. I couldn't help but laugh. I'm being ridiculous right? My husband answered You sure are! I find one of the greatest joys of 13 years of marriage is that my husband knows me so well that he is not distraught by my emotions. Doesn't the Lord know me well too? Why is it so hard to go to Him in these times when my heart faints?

"But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord God and made Him my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works." Psalm 73:28

The Word tells us that it is GOOD for us to draw near to the Lord.

"Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God's unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it]." Hebrews 4:16

Recently, at our ladies' Bible study, one of the ladies shared how the day her husband passed away she felt she was going to die. She told the Lord she didn't think she could live. She asked the Lord to comfort her that night. She crawled into bed, turned on her side and closed her eyes. She said she heard the footsteps of the Lord as He came into her room that night. He crawled into bed beside her and she said she felt Him hold her in His arms all night.

Let us, dear ladies, fearlessly, confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace. I needed to be reminded of that. Motherhood is treacherous when I'm discouraged.

Julie-Anne

A New Look

2008-05-30T19:36:00.002-05:00

It's kind of like buying a new dress or even a new purse. Refreshing. Motivating. I've lost some readers as the blog has become, well, stalled. But, I hope to try and revive it slowly but surely. Thanks, so much, for visiting today.

Julie-Anne

Hope

2008-04-05T19:20:00.002-05:00

I recently received an anonymous comment on the blog.

"I found this site very helpful. But I've been trying to have a child for 4 years and I've endured 3 miscarriages. Now that I'm pregnant for the 4th time I find it difficult to have the faith that I need. I feel that I'm letting God down, but it's hard for me to imagine this time being different than the others. "

Amazingly, this comment speaks to the very thing the LORD has been teaching me lately. I visited a friend in March who had suffered a miscarriage. Her grief was intense. As I prepared for that visit, I prayed for my friend. I felt HOPE bubble up inside me. As I shared with my friend my experience in prayer, encouraging her to hold onto Ephesians 3:20 (the scripture she had chosen for this child she was now grieving for) and presented her with a small figurine of a child holding up a balloon... with the word HOPE written on the balloon, the comfort of the Lord was present and real! The Lord ministered HOPE to both of us that day. And, so began a new journey. I started studying hope in the scriptures.

Funny enough, it led me back to the book of Ruth... I have been reading Ruth all winter, somehow feeling there was something there for me but not quite getting it. And then I read Chapter 1 verse 12 "Turn back, my daughters, go; for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, even if I should have a husband tonight and should bear sons..." Naomi declared her hopelessness to her daughters in law. She goes on to say in verse 20 "And she said to them, Call me not Naomi [pleasant]; call me Mara [bitter], for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me."

Just like this dear precious lady who commented on my blog, don't we feel hopelessness sometimes? I felt strongly convicted by the Holy Spirit that I had done as Naomi. I had decided in my own life that there was no hope. Naomi had been through some hard times. She had lost her husband and sons. She was old. She could not see any hope left for her. Maybe for my daughters-in-law she thought. "Go back to your families and find new husbands" she tells them. In Naomi's eyes, there was hope for them but not for her. Dear anonymous reader, perhaps you have looked at other mothers with their hands full and reflected upon your empty arms, thinking, there is no hope for me.

I read the book of Ruth through again with new eyes. And, I made a discovery! This is a story of HOPE! Through a series of events, Naomi's daughter-in-law Ruth (who insists on following Naomi back to her homeland) marries one of Naomi's relatives and she bares a son! Just read the verses at the end of chapter 4:

"And the women said to Naomi, Blessed be the Lord, Who has not left you this day without a close kinsman, and may his name be famous in Israel. And may he be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher and supporter in your old age, for your daughter-in-law who loves you, who is better to you than seven sons, has borne him. Then Naomi took the child and laid him in her bosom and became his nurse." Ruth 4: 14-16

I often read that part of the story thinking... wow, that's strange... the mother-in-law becomes the nurse of the baby! This time, I read it with new eyes. I found Naomi's HOPE in the story. Remember, she says she has no hope of finding a husband or giving birth to another son. At the end of the story, we find Naomi nursing a baby boy who represents a stable future for Naomi, a heritage from the Lord and, incidently, a baby who would be in the direct lineage of Christ! How GREAT is that? Before you declare that there is no hope just as Naomi declared, remember the HOPE of Naomi. It is the handiwork of the LORD.

The Lord is a restorer of life! And, he is a restorer of HOPE! Dear friends, you might be struggling as the anomymous reader has been to find hope in what feels like a hopeless situation. Your heart might be weary and you might find yourself declaring as Naomi did, "there is no hope for me!". But, as we read in the book of Ruth, the LORD is the one who gives us our HOPE. May He minister HOPE to you today!

Precious anonymous reader, your grief is a normal part of your human heart and is not letting God down. However, I pray your heart finds the strength and courage to HOPE in the LORD once again!

"As a father loves and pities his children, so the Lord loves and pities those who fear Him [with reverence, worship, and awe]. For He knows our frame, He [earnestly] remembers and imprints [on His heart] that we are dust. Psalm 103: 13-14

"Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord." Psalm 27:14

"My soul, wait only upon God and silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation are from Him." Psalm 62:5

Do a wordsearch on biblegateway.com and print out scriptures on HOPE. Stick them on your walls at the kitchen sink, in the bathroom, in your bedroom, your laundry room even! Do this so that, when your human heart feels hopeless, you can read the Word of the Lord and remember that the Lord works HOPE into our lives!

Blessings,

Julie-Anne

Say My Name

2008-03-06T09:02:00.002-05:00

Valentine's Day had come and gone. But, my sweet 3 year old boy got a kick out of wishing me Happy Valentine's Day every day. One day, he said "Happy Valentine's Day Mommy!". I replied "Happy Valentine's Day". He looked up at me and said "No! Say my name Mommy!". So, I started again "Happy Valentine's Day Matti Boy". He smiled and skipped out of the kitchen.

In that moment, my spirit grasped a deeper truth. My little boy wanted to hear me say his name. He wanted me to personalize my words to him. I thought, that is what I want with God. I want to hear Him whisper my name. I want to feel His presence in my everyday life. I want to meet with Him at my kitchen sink! Oh, let me hear Him say my name! How I long to know that He sees me!

"O LORD, you have searched me [thoroughly] and have known me. You know my downsitting and my uprising; You understand my thought afar off. You sift and search out my path and my lying down, and You are acquainted with all my ways." Psalm 139: 1-3

When you call out to Him at your kitchen sink, in the middle of the night, while switching a load of laundry, you are calling out to a personal Saviour who knows your name!

Bits of Life

2008-02-19T18:57:00.003-05:00

30 Grams of Fiber:

My husband and I are on a quest to consume 30 grams of fiber a day. At first, this seemed like an easy goal. When we started looking at labels and determining how much fiber is actually IN most food, we knew we were up against a challenge. I'm sure people wondered as we poured over nutritional labels on our last trip to the grocery store. We came home with granola and other high fiber items, include of course loads of fresh, organic (well ok, some organic and some not organic) veggies and fruit. Experts say 30 grams of fiber is an important goal in maintaining intestinal health. This quest of ours was inspired by research I did on intestinal health. Read an interesting article here. Look for fiber charts online! Here's to fiber and to as many grams you can find in a day!

Probiotics for everyone!:

We were introduced to probiotics last year by my cousin, a microbiologist turned stay-at-home mom. These have helped my husband's digestive system tremendously. My oldest son has a "delicate" stomach too and so he takes probiotics off and on. My youngest son has been battling THRUSH (an oral yeast infection) brought on by antibiotic treatments in the first days of his life. So, he is also on a probiotic powder for infants. Probiotics help restore good bacteria in the intestinal tract. This delicate balance can be upset by antibiotic treatments or even a stomach flu. Once the good bacteria are restored, digestion improves and yeast infections can also be healed this way... But, it takes time. I have made an interesting connection lately. At each birth, I have received intravenous antibiotics. And, after each birth, I have noticed a new digestive challenge pop up (if I can call it that). This time, I have become somewhat lactose intolerant. So, it's probiotics for me too! Maybe we'll just put the whole family on them. :)

Sound information?:

I was flipping through channels the other day when I noticed this program called "The Mom Show". I was intrigued and decided to watch a bit of it. They were a group of moms sitting on couches talking about mom-ish things. The next topic up for discussion was "Breastfeeding". With my midwifery/doula/breastfeeding support background, I had to know what they would say. Lunchbag letdown. There were a few "good" moments in the discussion and while the young pediatrician seemed semi well informed, it was overall a huge disappointment. They revived old myths instead of dispelling them. They talked about weaning as if it was automatically something done in the first few months of baby's life (in other words... no consideration for long-term nursing). I did appreciate the candid nature of the moms' accounts of their personal experiences. But, clearly, pop-culture had let me down. Why did I even expect anything more than that? So, in honour of SOUND INFORMATION, I am sharing with you the weblink to my former doula partner and dear friend's website (she is a certified lactation consultant). Stephanie is wonderful and her knowledge and experience has NEVER let me down. She continues to inspire me with her compassionate understanding of the breastfeeding relationship between a mom and her baby. You can find her and loads of sound info at MamaDearest!

I decided to roll a few bits of my life into one post. I'd love to hear how you all are doing out there in the jungles of motherhood!

Julie-Anne

Two Buttons

2008-02-18T18:14:00.005-05:00

Well, in the last 2 weeks, I have lost the buttons to both my favourite pairs of pants. It was probably more a case of wearing out than it was of expanding waistlines. But, still, it was a discouraging sight! It caused me to reflect on my figure, as a 4th time mom. Recently a friend of mine, who had given birth to her second child in November shared with me how she had tried to start an exercise routine in her home. She figured her 2 year old would love to dance to the exercise video alongside her. It didn't quite work out. And, she soon abandoned her exercise video dreams. She had shared that she felt that she wasn't shedding the "baby" weight as easily this time around. Another friend with 3 children 3 years and under was sharing with me how she felt like she needed to start some sort of exercise routine. On the advice of a friend, she was trying some pilates (which I don't recommend because pilates were designed for a man's physiology and are hard on a woman's pelvic floor).* I remember reading Crystal's blog over at Biblical Womanhood and how she had started running just months after giving birth to her second child. Some women have it all, I thought!

I wanted to write a post about weight in the postpartum year because I know what a struggle it can be to look in the mirror and wonder where did my body go? I have often observed that women feel they have to hurry the weight loss process in the first postpartum year. In fact, if we are breastfeeding, our body can tend to "hold on" to the extra weight for energy stores. If we are sleep deprived, our body can also tend to hold on to the extra pounds for extra energy. We all respond differently to weight gain and loss in our childbearing years. I am more curvy than I have ever been after giving birth to my fourth baby. But, I tend to gain weight more in the months after giving birth rather than the months before. This is because my body tends to crave high energy foods... sweet food, foods packed with carbs in the first months with a new baby. During this time, I also have less time to shop for and prepare more wholesome snacks and food. I find myself snacking on bread and on baking more. If I have a baby during the winter months, I tend to hibernate more and exercise less.

We have to remember that the first year after having a baby is a year of healing, inside and out. It is a year of nesting and nurturing. Our bodies need rest. Our strength returns gradually. It is a year when we need to eat healthful foods for ourselves and our babies. It is a year when we should spend less time counting the pounds. Our bodies will continue to change into the next years and with each pregnancy.

I commend any new mom for taking the initiative to get fit. But, starting a major exercise project in the first few months postpartum is usually not feasible or even reasonable for most moms. Take care to pace yourself (and your expectations). As your strength returns, take on small, do-able goals such as a short walk or a swim at the pool. Remember, to a reasonable extent, those few extra pounds are meant to carry you through sleep deprivation and the other challenges of having a new baby. If we take care of ourselves and don't push too hard, we will be able to savour the sweetness of new relationships being formed with brand new babes. And, try not to lose any buttons along the way :)

Julie-Anne

*see "Saving the Whole Woman" by Christine Ann Kent

Sleepy Wrap Giveaway

2008-01-24T08:59:00.000-05:00

I found this giveaway and wanted to share it with you. I have a ZoloWear ring sling I purchased here for mother's day when I was expecting our fourth child. It was amazing for the first two and half months. My son was small and not so heavy. I could manage to get some things done, go for walks. I even attended a Christian Worship concert with him in the sling! Sometimes, I just wore him in the sling to give my achy arms a break! But, as he got heavier, the sling became harder to wear. I know I need to get the hang of wearing him in different positions but I've always wondered if a wrap would be just the thing for this stage of baby wearing. According to Drea and Elizabeth at DE Reviews, it is! And, they is giving a wrap away! I would love to try a wrap. One thing I know, I really enjoy baby wearing! Check out their giveaway!

The SANCTUARY

2008-01-18T09:37:00.000-05:00

As a mom, I am busy DOING a lot of things. And, I am also busy worrying about what I am not doing, what I should be doing, what I want to be doing! I often qualify myself by what I do. And, why shouldn't I? The whole world around me is wired into doing, doing, doing. I am what I do. And, I am approved or justified by God because of what I do. Or am I?

Asaph, David's worship leader and prophet wrote in Psalm 73 (one of the wisdom psalms):

"TRULY GOD is [only] good to Israel, even to those who are upright and pure in heart." verse 1

Asaph believed in the doctrine of reciprocity. If I do good to God and to others around me, God will do good to me. Sounds good? There was a problem!

"But as for me, my feet were almost gone, my steps had well-nigh slipped. For I was envious of the foolish and arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. For they suffer no violent pangs in their death, but their strength is firm. They are not in trouble as other men; neither are they smitten and plagued like other men." 2-5

Wicked people who had no regard for the Lord, much less His people, were prospering! Asaph, a man of God who was doing right in the sight of the Lord, was struggling. The doctrine of reciprocity was not working. Asaph exclaims:

"Surely then in vain have I cleansed my heart and washed my hands in innocency. For all the day long have I been smitten and plagued, and chastened every morning. Had I spoken thus [and given expression to my feelings], I would have been untrue and have dealt treacherously against the generation of Your children. But when I considered how to understand this, it was too great an effort for me and too painful" 13-16

Asaph is anguished. He begins to question God in the midst of His pain. He says, in pure honesty, he would have betrayed the Lord had he spoken his mind. He would have said "It doesn't pay to do good! It's not worth the effort of obeying God! He was leaning on a doctrine. A doctrine of DOING and a doctrine of EARNING.

"I've done everything right. I am working so hard to obey the Lord, to observe His law, to honour Him and His people. It's hard and still, I am suffering hardship. Where is your goodness Lord?" These are my words. In a heap of exhaustion, I ask my saviour, why is my DOING not enough? Where is your goodness? Aren't I doing enough?"

Asaph was confused. The reality before him was one he could not bare.....

UNTIL:

"Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I understood [for I considered] their end. [After all] You do set the [wicked] in slippery places; You cast them down to ruin and destruction. How they become a desolation in a moment! They are utterly consumed with terrors!" 17-19

Asaph then cries out: "So foolish, stupid, and brutish was I, and ignorant; I was like a beast before You." verse 22

And, in an intimate moment with the Lord, the goodness of the Lord is revealed and His truth proclaimed:

"Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You do hold my right hand.
You will guide me with Your counsel, and afterward receive me to honor and glory.
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And I have no delight or desire on earth besides You.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the Rock and firm Strength of my heart and my Portion forever.
For behold, those who are far from You shall perish; You will destroy all who are false to You and like [spiritual] harlots depart from You.

But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord God and made Him my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works." 23-28

Asaph realized that it IS worth it to honour the Lord and follow His ways. But, he also learned that God's goodness does not come to us as a pay out for our good deeds. It flows from a relationship with God. As mothers, we have a lot to DO. But, it is not in our DOING that we will find the goodness of the Lord. We find Him, and the revelation of His goodness to us when we go into His sanctuary, when we take time to be with Him, learn from Him, treasure Him. Dear mothers, draw near to the Lord. Enter his sanctuary. At your kitchen sink. In the car. While nursing your babe. DRAW NEAR to the Lord. When things are falling apart and the day is chaos, hide in Him who is our refuge. Put your trust in Him once again. His love cannot be earned. It can only be discovered.

Julie-Anne :)

This post was inspired by the teachings of Rev. Tom Quinn of Sudbury, Ontario, Canada.

Now THAT'S a giveaway!

2008-01-10T20:09:00.000-05:00

A Cowboy’s Wife is having a contest on her food blog! You can win a Hamilton Beach® Stand Mixer and she’ll ship anywhere so everyone is eligible!

The Prize:

The winner will receive a brand new Hamilton Beach 4.5-qt. Eclectrics Stand Mixer, Pineapple Yellow!!

About the mixer:

From Hamilton Beach’s “Eclectrics” line, this all-metal stand mixer comes with a host of accessories - a Flat Beater for cakes and cookies, a Dough Hook for bread and a Wire Whisk for whipped cream or pudding. The 4.5-qt. stainless steel bowl comes with a Pouring Shield that helps prevent splattering while in operation. The pouring shield has a built-in chute for adding ingredients. Powered by 400 watts, the stand mixer has a two-way mixing action to ensure all ingredients are incorporated into the mix. The quick-release, tilt-up head assists when removing the bowl. 9 x 14 x 14-in. When you’re ready for a kitchen re-do, don’t call in the carpenters! Instead, “counterscape” your kitchen with Hamilton Beach’s retro-designed, affordably priced electrics in happy, sun-saturated colors. Their “Eclectrics” line includes updates to those classic appliances from the 1950s. All of their “Eclectrics” are available in six colors: Apple Green, Moroccan Red, Pineapple Yellow, Intrigue Blue, Sugar White and Licorice Black.

Christmas Memories

2007-12-24T10:26:00.000-05:00

We have arrived at my parents' home for Christmas. I will be away from my blog over the holidays. But, I wanted to write one last "share-away" post. Being with my parents brings back some of my favourite Christmas memories. I wanted to share some with you.

By far, what I loved about Christmas when I was little was the new DRESS my mom would buy my sisters and I. I always felt so pretty and special.

As French Canadians, our traditions include opening gifts on Christmas Eve. We also have a traditional Christmas meal on Christmas Eve which we call the "Reveillons". It means "waking up". We call it this because we have our Reveillons at midnight. Our meal consists of meat pies, ragout (a wonderful meat stew), mashed potatoes. Of course, we snack on goodies all evening like "sucre a la creme" which is a fabulous French Canadian style fudge. I LOVE how much effort and care my parents put into our Christmas celebrations. It is so great to have my children take part in my childhood traditions.

May you enjoy making memories with your family this Christmas. And, may the Lord be the center of it all!

SHARE PULLA!

2007-12-19T10:01:00.000-05:00

As Christmas approaches, we are getting busier and busier! But, I wanted to take time out to SHARE again with you. I am sharing today a recipe for PULLA, Finnish coffee bread. This sweet, egg bread with a hint of cardomom is delicious and easy to make. I discovered Pulla when I met my husband. He is Finn. This bread is a BIG part of his heritage. I would have to say that Pulla and our sauna are the two things I enjoy most about his heritage! Last year, we made Pulla loaves, braided and shaped into rings (wreaths) and brought some to our friends. Everyone loved it, even our South African friends! If you want an inexpensive gift to offer your friends or to bring with you as you visit your friends and family, Pulla is sure to be a hit.

I am including 2 variations of recipes for Pulla. I love cardomom so I would always put at least 1 or 2 tablespoons for a recipe that yields 3 to 4 loaves! You can also add raisins and walnuts to Pulla. To shape the loaves in a pretty wreath, for each loaf, make one big braid and one small braid. Place the big braid in a pie plate, forming a circle by connecting the ends. Place the small braid on top of the large braided loaf to make it extra pretty. Make sure both braids are going in the same direction! Sprinkle with coarse sugar before baking.

This year we are planning to travel for Christmas. I am quickly running out of time to make Pulla for everyone. I also ran out of flour and the van is in the shop! Maybe I'll find time to make Pulla for a New Year's treat for everyone.

If you are feeling adventurous, you won't regret making this treat!

Recipe #1:

Coffee Bread (Pulla)

(from the kitchen of Carol Linkkila)From Bruce & Jill's Favourite Family Recipes

1 pint milk

3/4 cups butter

1 cup sugar

1 teaspoon salt

7 cups flour

3 egg yolks1

1/2 tablespoons cardamom seeds

1 pkg yeast

1/4 warm sugar

water

Scald milk, butter, sugar and salt. Stir in 3 cups flour and mix to make medium batter. Add egg yolks and cardamom, mix well. Dissolve yeast in warm water; when cooled, add to batter. Let rise until double, then punch down. Add remaining flour and knead. Let rise until double, cut into four parts. Shape into loaves or braid. Spread with egg whites for glaze, if desired. Bake at 350 for 40-45 minutes.

Recipe #2:

from RecipeZaar!

Enjoy!

Just for Jesus

2007-12-16T16:11:00.000-05:00

Today, I am sharing with you a blog my dear friend Sylvie just recently created.
It's called:

JustforJesus-Justme

Sylvie is a young lady who accepted Christ last winter. She has been such a blessing to our family. She has helped me with the children so many times. We have baked together, laughed together, cried together and prayed together!

Won't you join me in encouraging her as she walks with Jesus and writes about it?

A Feast for the Eyes!

2007-12-15T20:47:00.000-05:00

I'm a little late. But, today, I want to SHARE with you some paintings my 9 year old daughter completed at her oil painting classes. My daughter Abbie is homeschooling this year. We heard about this older lady giving oil painting classes to adults Wednesday afternoons. Abbie has been a prolific artist since she was able to hold a crayon! We phoned this dear lady and asked if she would consider letting Abbie take her class. She accepted. It was challenging at times, but we are so proud of the artwork she completed! This art class was a rare opportunity for Abbie as we live in a community of 150 people. What a treasure to have found this class. It was, without a doubt, God's provision. I hope you enjoy today's shareaway. It is a feast for the eyes!

Introducing... Abbie's Artwork:

Go see what others are SHARING:

Stacey joined in the share-away!

Amy is sharing too!

LOOK UP!

2007-12-14T09:43:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I announced on the blog that I was doing a Christmas "share-away". It is my way of "giving" to my readers during the season of giving. It's a busy time of year. If no one else joins in, it's all good. It's more about me sharing with you. But, if you do want to join in, feel free to copy my little logo and I will link to your share-away!

Today's share-away is a poem I stumbled upon recently when looking through an old Above Rubies magazine. I love these magazines as they have encouraged me so much as a mom. It reminded me of the golden words of my dear friend Edith. Turn to the Lord for every detail of your life, your mothering, your wifehood. I hope it can encourage you today!

LOOK UP

by: Nancy Campbell

(Above Rubies Magazine, March 2007, No. 70)

How can I do it? I have too much to do,

I'm overwhelmed and feeling real blue,

I'm stuck in this house like super glue.

Don't look around - LOOK UP!

The dishes and laundry are piled up high

When I look 'round the house I have to sigh,

And, for supper my husband's expecting a pie!

Don't look around - LOOK UP!

We can't pay the mortgage; bills are overdue,

I'm tired and have headaches, not a few,

These children are driving me crazy, too!

Don't look around - LOOK UP!

My husband comes in late; he doesn't care,

He doesn't help with the children, it's not fair!

I don't want to smile; I just want to glare!

Don't look around - LOOK UP!

Take your eyes off your problems, look up to Him,

God's presence is with you, even in the din!

Confess your bad mood and He'll cleanse your sin.

He is your God - LOOK UP!

He'll show you how to order your place

He'll give you direction as you seek His face,

He wants to pour upon you His anointing of grace.

He is your God - LOOK UP!

Keep your eyes fixed on Him; He is your Stay,

He is your Wisdom for problems each day,

He will bring His presence right into your fray.

He is your God - LOOK UP!

Each morning He comes as the refreshing Dew

To revive your body, and your spirit too,

He is your Deliverer and He'll make you new,

He is your God - LOOK UP!

For more encouraging words, visit Above Rubies.

My Very Own Blog Shareaway!

2007-12-13T09:38:00.000-05:00

It seems that so many blogs are doing giveaways these days. Who doesn't love "winning" a free gift? For various reasons, I have had to put off doing a giveaway until the new year. But, I've been itching to do a giveaway for my blog readers. So, I came up with an idea. Inspired by the season of giving, I am "hosting" a blog SHAREAWAY on my blog. Almost every day (because, we are busy-er than ever at this time of year), I would like to SHARE something that is special to me with you on my blog. I am thinking, favourite recipes, websites, tips, ideas, patterns, photos, poems, stories etc. All of this can be SHARED easily on our blogs. And, in a sense, we bloggers do this all the time.

If you would like to join in, you can do this on your blog too! I would love to read about your favourites! Let me know that you are doing a "shareaway" and I will link to your blog. The best I could come up with is the "logo" I made up here in this post. If you know how you could copy it and link to my blog from it, feel free to use it on your blog. Can you tell I'm an amateur!

For my first shareaway:

I LOVE making bread. I have less time these days to do so.

But, I will definitely share some of my favourite bread recipes with you during my "shareaway". The first bread recipe I want to share with you is my most favourite recipe for

Homemade Cinnamon Raisin Oatmeal Bread.

I treasure this recipe as one of my best recipe finds yet.

Enjoy!

Cinnamon Raisin Oatmeal Bread

Makes 3 loaves

24 oz (5 1/2 cups) bread or all-purpose unbleached flour

8 oz (1 7/8 cups) whole wheat flour
5.3 oz (1 5/8 cups) rolled oats
20 oz (2 1/2 cups) water
3.5 oz (3/8 cups) milk
2.4 oz (3 tablespoons) honey
2.4 oz (5 1/2 tablespoons) vegetable oil.
7 oz (1 tablespoons plus 1/2 teaspoon) salt.
37 oz (1 1/4 tablespoon) instant yeast.
5 oz (2 tablespoons) ground cinnamon
10.6 oz (2 cups) soaked and drained raisins

At least half an hour before you begin:

Soak the raisins in warm water. Doing so plumps them, which makes them softer and moister in the loaf and also prevents the ones on the surface of the loaf from burning. Just prior to adding the raisins to the loaf, you'll pour the water out.

Next, soak the oats in the 2 1/2 cups water for 20 to 30 minutes.If you are using active dry yeast instead of instant yeast, which I did, withhold 1/2 cup of the water to proof the yeast in.

Mix the flours, yeast, milk, honey, oil, salt, and cinnamon into the oats.
Mix well, until all of the flour is hydrated. Knead by hand for 5 minutes or in a standmixer for 3, then mix in the drained raisins. Knead or mix until the raisins are distributed throughout the dough.

Cover the bowl of dough and allow it to rise for 1 hour.

Then remove the dough from the bowl and fold it, degassing it gently as you do.
Place the dough on a floured work surface, top side down.
Fold the dough in thirds, like a letter, gently degassing as you do.
Fold in thirds again the other way.
Flip the dough over, dust off as much of the raw flour as you can, and place it back into the bowl.
Cover the bowl and allow the dough to rise in bulk again for another hour.

Then divide the dough in thirds and shape the loaves.
Place each shaped loaf into a greased bread pan.
Spray or gently brush each loaf with water and sprinkle with some more oats.

Cover the pans and set aside to rise until the loaves crest above the edge of the pans, roughly 90 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 450.

Place the loaves in the center rack of the oven.
After 5 minutes, reduce the oven temperature to 375. Rotate the loaves 180 degrees after 20 minutes, and bake for another 15 to 25 minutes, until the tops of the loaves are nicely browned, the bottoms of the loaves make a hollow sound when tapped, and the internal temperature of the loaf registers above 185 degrees when measured with an instant read thermometer.

http://www.thefreshloaf.com/recipes/cinnamonraisinoatmealbread

Blog note: As with most bread recipes, I knead the dough by hand instead of using a stand mixer (mainly because I don't have one that would do the job well) and I always adapt my bread recipes so that I can proof my yeast in some of the warm liquid called for before adding the flour. Amy asked about the thermometer mentioned at the end of this recipe. I have never used such a device :) I just kind of wing it. You get a sense of when a loaf of bread is done the more you bake bread. The hollow sounding loaf is the ultimate tell tale sign. I baked this bread for Amy and her family when they visited us last summer. The next morning, we sliced it up and made french toast with it!

The Truth about Nursing and Fertility

2007-12-06T18:55:00.000-05:00

In honour of honest discussions, I thought I would highlight a comment I received on my breastfeeding post entitled "Yes, I'm Still Nursing". Anonymous commented: "I have a friend that was exclusively breastfeeding, and she was blessed with conceiving her second child when her first was four months old, so breastfeeding, no matter how long, is not a sure way of preventing fertility." If you read through the post, I've described how "Long-term nursing is key in naturally spacing pregnancies and is the Lord's way of allowing mom to recouperate and enjoy each little one to the fullest before adding to the quiver again." Well, Anonymous' comment is important. It is important to note that everyone is different. I know women personally who have to initiate weaning in order to become fertile again, and this when their babies are well into toddlerhood. I also have met women who become fertile soon after giving birth, despite exclusively nursing their babies on demand and around the clock. I do believe that when it comes to family size, it is so important to seek the Lord. Children are a blessing. That is what the Word of God says. Adopting this mentality might change how you look at family size, or how you feel about a pregnancy soon after a baby is born. I don't mean to gloss over the challenges that two pregnancies close together or having a big-ger family might present. I simply mean to remind you that the Lord's blessing can be found in the midst of it. And, that is a biblically sound statement* :) Thank you Anonymous for bringing to light an honest discussion. It is my heart that this blog discuss motherhood and the childbearing years truthfully and with the Lord's design in mind.

*see , Psalm 113, Psalm 127, Psalm 128

My Life As a Ninja

2007-12-05T17:06:00.000-05:00

"I think you're a ninja", my sister told me. She wasn't referring to any athletic or self-defence skill. She was referring to having four children. It seems now that we've reached 4, I usually get some sort of comment from others. Here is a sampling of what I've heard:

"You MUST be busy!"
When answering the phone at supper time: "Wow! It's quiet... is everyone sleeping? No, I replied. Everyone is eating!"
From a telemarketer: "Oh, I can HEAR you are very busy!"
"I don't know how you do it!"
"Better you than me!"
"Aww..nice baby. There's another one and another... WOW! " (from a shopper we did not know)

The list goes on. But, by far, my favourite is my sister's comment. Juls, she says, you're a ninja! It conjures up images of me in a black suit with a cape and mask on, wielding some sort of sharp weapon. I always laugh when she says it. But, I suppose it's her way of expressing her admiration of me. As if I had climbed mount Everest or something. I do climb many mountains, but they are usually made up of dirty laundry. I fight many battles, but they are usually with frustrated toddlers and defiant pre-teens. I DON'T wear black suits but I have put on a pillow case cape to play superheroes with my son. My weapons are muffin tins and spatulas. Somehow, as ordinary as motherhood feels at times, I suppose living it with 4 children can seem somewhat ninja-like to others. Wikipedia tells us that the word "ninja" may be translated as "one skilled in the art of stealth." As a mom, I have learned to "listen in" on my children from anywhere in the house without them noticing. Does that count as stealth?

No matter what people describe me as, I keep coming back to dear Edith's wise counsel. In EVERYTHING, go to the Lord for help. Because, the truth is, I'm no ninja.

Julie-Anne

Smiling at motherhood again!

2007-12-03T21:40:00.000-05:00

People constantly tell me I must be so busy with four children. Well, truth be known, YES, I am really busy. This is the main reason my blog has been very "quiet" lately. I AM busy. I am not keeping up with all the work around here. Not because I'm not trying. I'm REALLY trying. It dawned on me today that I am not enjoying my motherhood lately. I'm consumed with trying to keep up with everything and I'm complaining along the way. I love my life. But, I am simmering in discontentment. Like a bad habit that won't go away. It kind of snuck up on me. And, now, here it is, staring me in the face. It's time to regroup. It's time to fall in love with motherhood all over again. It's time to let go of unrealistic expectations. And, it's time to smile again at motherhood. In honour of smiling at motherhood, I want to share a wonderful podcast by one of my favourite Canadian story-tellers. You can listen to it here by selecting Vinyl Cafe's November 24th podcast. I hope it makes you smile at your motherhood too.

Julie-Anne :)

There IS Hope

2007-11-14T18:40:00.000-05:00

Today, out of desperation, I went to visit a dear friend, Edith. She is the mother of 8, grandmother of many more and greatgrandmother as well. She is in her early 80's. She was widowed almost a decade ago in November. She cares full-time for her 90 year old sister Jean. I went to her, hoping to gain some insight in mothering. I practiced my questions in my head during the drive over to her house.

I arrived at her granny suite in the old farmhouse, settled the children and sat down in the kitchen with her while nursing my baby. I told her how confused I was about all of the different motherhood "doctrines" out there. I shared with her some of my questions about family-size, parenting styles, homemaking etc. I shared with her my fears and my uncertainties.

But, what she shared with me was not what I expected. I expected her to share secrets of her methods and routines which I believed must have contributed to her success in raising her children to love the Lord. I expected to hear how she kept her home clean and tidy which I believed was what had, at least in part, made her home such a popular stop for many many visitors over the years.

Instead, Edith shared with me how, when her children were young, she could never seem to keep her house clean. So she decided that if she couldn't keep the house clean, she would endeavour to keep one room clean, most of the time. She chose the bathroom. Instead, she shared with me how her time with the Lord was mostly spent at the kitchen sink, singing to the Lord in her heart because the children always interrupted her attempts at morning devotional times. Edith told me she never followed a "schedule" or routine. She told me of how her children grieved when her eldest daughter died in her late teens. They were a musical family. The children spent hours around the piano singing their hearts out, crying and reminiscing. She died on December 19th. She told me of her final moments with her husband before he passed away... and the holy presence of God when he breathed his last. Through her tears, she told story after story of how the Lord had met her on her journey through motherhood. I loved the story about how she would ask the Lord to make her food "taste good" as she put together meals for her family. She told me of her fatigue...how, after the twins were born, she had to hire help. She said that when she had babies in the house, she would not invite people over for supper because this was the time when she and her babies were the most tired. Instead, she would schedule her fellowship in the afternoon or later in the evening after the children were tucked away, in bed.

Edith encouraged me today. She told me how, if she has been successful as a mother, it's all because of the Lord. She prayed with me before I left her home. And, this evening, she sent over an apple pie for us.

There IS hope.

Another giveaway!

2007-11-08T09:11:00.000-05:00

Mel at OurBlessedArrows is doing weekly giveaways. I blogged about the cloth diaper give-away, mind you somewhat at the last minute! This week, she is giving away a Slumber Bear... a cute teddy that plays sounds recorded from the womb! It actually plays the sounds whenever your baby cries or begins to fuss! So many blogs are doing giveaways now. It's a fun way to win stuff for your home and your family :) And, it's a very smart way of building up your traffic and reaching new readers. I am still hoping to do some of my own giveaways on this blog. I will keep you posted on that! If only love could be packaged! I have been touched by so many of you.

Julie-Anne :)

Last-minute give-aways and laughs

2007-11-04T17:22:00.000-05:00

I visited Kim's blog and found a neat giveaway for a cloth diaper set at this blog. True to my original design, I am terribly last minute but I entered anyway. Yay! I also had a good laugh when reading today's post.

The blog world is a strange, wondrous and confusing place. And, you might even win some free stuff along the way. :)

Storing Breast Milk!

2007-11-02T18:42:00.000-05:00

My very close friend Amy asked the following questions on storing breastmilk:

Also another question is about storing milk for those times when you do want to go out and how to get the baby to take a bottle if needed? What's the best way to freeze milk? And..because i'm breastfeeding I don't know how much my baby is taking in amount wise so If I were to leave a bottle for someone how much do you leave??

I went to the best source I know for these kinds of answers. Here is what the La Leche League website had to say about storing human milk:

"This information is based on current research and applies to mothers who:

have healthy, full-term babies;
are storing their milk for home use (as opposed to hospital use);
wash their hands before expressing;
use containers that have been washed in hot, soapy water and rinsed.
All milk should be dated before storing.

Storing milk in 2-4 ounce amounts may reduce waste. Refrigerated milk has more anti-infective properties than frozen milk. Cool milk in refrigerator before adding to frozen milk.

Human milk can be stored:

at room temperature (66-72°F, 19-22°C) for up to 10 hours
in a refrigerator (32-39°F, 0-4°C) for up to 8 days
in a freezer compartment inside a refrigerator (variable temperature due to the door opening frequently) for up to 2 weeks
in a freezer compartment with a separate door (variable temperature due to the door opening frequently) for up to 3 to 4 months.
in a separate deep freeze (0°F, -19°C) for up to 6 months or longer.

What Type of Container to Use

Refrigerated or frozen milk may be stored in:
hard-sided plastic or glass containers with well-fitting tops
freezer milk bags that are designed for storing human milk

Disposable bottle liners are not recommended.

How to Warm the Milk

Thaw and/or heat under warm, running water.
Do not bring temperature of milk to boiling point.
Gently swirl milk before testing the temperature. Swirling will also redistribute the cream into the milk. (It is normal for stored milk to separate into a cream and milk layer.)
Do not use a microwave oven to heat human milk.

Thawed Milk

If milk has been frozen and thawed, it can be refrigerated for up to 24 hours for later use. It should not be refrozen. It is not known whether milk that is left in the bottle after a feeding can be safely kept until the next feeding or if it should be discarded."

For additional information on human milk storage, click here!

As for how much baby might need, I found the following information here:

"Feeding amounts will vary by your baby's age. During the first week, a feeding is about 1-2 ounces (30-60 ml). In weeks two to three, a feeding is about 2-3 ounces (60-90 ml). After week four, a feeding is about 3-4 ounces (90-120 ml)."

Happy nursing :)

How long?

2007-11-02T17:33:00.000-05:00

I had a reader and dear friend recently ask:

"I don't have a particular plan as to length for breastfeeding.. but I wondered about giving it the year? "

To that I say, go for it! The longer the better... and that's a scientific fact. The American Association of Pediatricians recommends: "Exclusive breastfeeding for approximately the first six months and support for breastfeeding for the first year and beyond as long as mutually desired by mother and child. " We know that breastfeeding carries all sorts of benefits for baby and mom. But, science has uncovered a unique part of God's design in all of this...the benefits increase over time! Here are some of the benefits we know of:

FOR BABY:

-breastmilk adapts itself to the baby’s needs (during a feeding, according to the time of day, with time as the baby grows, according to mom’s exposure to illness.)
-breastmilk is full of antibodies and provides protection to the baby and decreases the incidence of the following illnesses: diarrhea, gastro-intestinal infections, respiratory infections, ear infections, allergies
-breastfeeding meets baby’s need for warmth, food, sucking, physical contact
-breastfeeding provides intense sensory stimulation for the baby at each feeding

FOR MOM:

-promotes clamping down of the uterus (early postpartum)
-prevents excessive bleeding and anemia (early postpartum)
-may provide some contraception
-reduces the incidence in the future of developing osteoporosis
-helps prevent breast cancer and ovarian cancer
-favours bonding
-provides sense of confidence in your ability to meet your baby’s needs
-reduces levels of stress hormones such as cortisol

Just remember that whatever time you are able to spend breastfeeding your child is an investment in the future :)

Sneaky symptoms! Another Question Answered!

2007-10-17T09:39:00.000-05:00

It seems that one good question deserves another, and another! Blogging has never been so easy! Thanks to everyone for entrusting these questions to me. Here goes.

Buffy asked:

"Is there any difference between PMT symptoms and the earliest pregnancy symptoms. They both seem to involve breast tenderness, bloating, slight cramping, moodiness and tiredness. How can you tell the difference??"

This is a great question (you'll "read" me saying this a lot but I mean it!). I have been fooled by pre-menstrual symptoms into thinking I might be pregnant many times! Buffy mentions that pre-menstrual symptoms resemble pregnancy symptoms. Indeed. This is because the hormones involved are the same. Once we have ovulated, Progesterone begins to rise to get things ready for implantation in case there is a conception. Progesterone is responsible for many of the symptoms Buffy listed. However, the difference is that, when you are pregnant, hormone levels continue to rise after implantation. For me, one way to tell is that my symptoms continue past the point of a missed period. Often, what I recognize as strong pregnancy nausea doesn't hit me until after I've had a positive pregnancy test at home... shortly after my missed period. This said, everyone is different. Some are extremely sensitive to their bodies and can detect the slightest change in symptoms. When conception and implantation do not occur, Progesterone levels begin to drop, we menstruate and Estrogen begins to rise for a new ovulation. Often, women will experience a relief of their pre-menstrual symptoms when they begin their menses as the Progesterone drops. This is definitely my experience. In other words, it can be tricky to tell very early on if we are expecting because, as mentioned, pre-menstrual and early pregnancy symptoms involve the same hormones and resemble each other closely.

Hope this helps. If anyone wishes to add to this, leave a comment! :)

Q's and A's

2007-10-16T09:59:00.000-05:00

Kim has asked some very good questions! I'm going to give it my best shot. Thank you for such thought provoking and transparent questions Kim!

- do pregnancy symptoms in early pregnancy remain constant, or can they fluctuate day to day?

Pregnancy bathes us in hormones. The key is that in early pregnancy, all of these hormones are RISING. These hormones cause what we refer to as "pregnancy symptoms" as they affect most systems in our body. But, because they continue to rise, it is normal that your symptoms change and increase. And, in a sense, the answer is yes to both aspects of Kim's question. Once hormone levels are high, you might have the same symptoms throughout the first trimester with only the intensity changing. Typically, as each stage of pregnancy brings on new experiences for your body, it's safe to say that throughout your entire pregnancy you may experience different and changing symptoms. If a pregnancy is lost in the first trimester, all of the hormone levels begin to drop, causing symptoms to eventually disappear. I hesitated to make the former statement because I know the temptation is there to fear a loss when we happen to have a "good" day in the nauseated world of early pregnancy. Just keep in mind that certain external factors can intensify or lessen our symptoms as well. For example, if you have a poor night's sleep, your nausea may be very high the next day. In the same way, a very restful night's sleep can help ease our nausea the following day. Heat or cold can have an impact on the severity of our symptoms. And, what we eat can ease or worsen our digestive symptoms. Let me just say that pregnancy is a great opportunity to grow in trusting God as it brings up so many "unknowns" and "uncontrollables"! Which leads me to Kim's next question, following my "background info" tidbit.

BACKGROUND INFO: After your baby is conceived, the hormone Progesterone increases and helps "fluff up" the uterine wall for implantation and for food for your baby embryo until the placenta is formed and can take over. Typically, Progesterone is what contributes to heartburn, digestive issues, constipation and increased frequency in going to the bathroom as it has a relaxing effect on everything. Estrogen will also increase and help in the development of the fetus, placenta and other important jobs in maintaining a pregnancy. But the star of the show in early pregnancy is hCG. One of the main roles of hCG is to stimulate early production and rise of progesterone and estrogen until the placenta can take over and continue to produce these hormones in large quantities. hCG also contributes to the development of the baby.

- how do you, as a Christian, deal with the fear in early pregnancy?

I want to say that I wrestled with fear throughout my pregnancies. And, although this is "normal", I want to encourage you to grow into trusting the Lord with more abandonment and joy. I am STILL working on this. I wrote a post during my last pregnancy entitled "Do not be afraid!". Check it out and be encouraged with some real "strategies" which take their root in the scriptures for overcoming fear.

As things come up in life, fear is always knocking at the door of our soul. I still struggle with fear. As I was "wrestling" with God over this recently, I fell upon chapter 3 of the book of Hebrews which explains how the Israelites displeased God after He freed them from captivity in Egypt because they DID NOT TRUST HIM.

"So we see that they were not able to enter [into His rest], because of their unwillingness to adhere to and trust in and rely on God [unbelief had shut them out]." verse 19

It suddenly dawned on me that not trusting God displeases Him and shuts me out of His rest!. When I fear what might happen and do not trust God with all my heart for every situation and every need, I am displeasing Him. In a sense, I too do not get to enter into His rest. Instead, I walk in the land of fear, worry and confusion. The Lord is so good and so faithful. He truly is the GOOD shepard. We can trust in Him. We can trust in His goodness. Early pregnancy can be an emotional time. With each conception, dreams are born in our hearts. It is a common fear that we might lose the pregnancy. That is why, in my books, trust can be definined as TOTAL ABANDONMENT. Can we abandon every aspect of our lives, including the life of our newly formed little one into God's hands? As you go through the normal emotional ups and downs of early pregnancy, strive to enter into God's rest by trusting in Him. :)

Hope this helps. If any others have suggestions or answers to Kim's questions, please feel free to comment!

Julie-Anne

The Breastfeeding Journey

2007-10-15T11:35:00.000-05:00

The Breastfeeding Journey

What a journey breastfeeding can be. I remember as a first-time mom feeling so blissful as I nursed my first-born. It went so smoothly. I had no pain, no struggles with latching my baby and an obvious abundance of milk. My mom had bottle fed my siblings and I almost didn't try breastfeeding as it felt quite foreign to me. But, I was willing to try it and I was so thankful I did. However, when my son was 3 months old, I traded in a good breastfeeding relationship for bottle feeding. I had become ill with mononeucleosis and was very weak. I was councilled by family to give up breastfeeding. They were concerned for my well-being. In hindsight, this wasn't necessary. But, public PRESSURE and LACK of KNOWLEDGE are factors that many new moms struggle with. They can definitely contribute to the end of breastfeeding in any mom's life. When my second child was born, I was determined to breastfeed even longer. After my daughter struggled with severe jaundice and weakness, I exhaustedly abandoned breastfeeding when she was only 3 weeks old. I was very disappointed. If I knew then what I know now (isn't that often the case?) I would have had better tools to try and overcome these challenges. Still, I was ISOLATED and EXHAUSTED. These are also factors that can contribute to the decision to stop breastfeeding for a mom and her new baby. At this point, I began my journey in midwifery, doula-ing and childbirth education. Several years later, I gave birth to our 3rd child. I was much better informed and felt confident I could go the distance, easily. However, my son was born 5 weeks early and sucked very weakly. It took over a week for my milk to come in and much longer for my son to stop losing weight. This time, I had some knowledge that helped me overcome these challenges. But, it wasn't easy. I am still nursing my toddler to this day... a decision that does not come from a militant place but rather a personal place. CHALLENGES and UNUSUAL CIRCUMSTANCES can also lead to weaning a baby. Now, I'm breastfeeding my 8 week old and it is going very well. Even so, I have to say that I am learning new things about breastfeeding once again. It took a lot of trial and error, determination and grace to get to this point. I am thankful for each day.

In the next while, I will be posting about the joys and challenges of breastfeeding and hopefully encourage some moms out there in current and/or future breastfeeding relationships. Please feel free to share your stories with me and your questions as well. I want to explore the real life side of breastfeeding so we can learn together!

Julie-Anne :)

Encouraging words... thank you!!

2007-10-15T09:41:00.000-05:00

Thank you to my blog readers who commented and encouraged me to keep going!! I have decided to keep writing and keep the blog up. It was very motivating to think that the blog is contributing something to others. Blogging is a strange phenomenon. Even with a Site Meter, it's hard to gauge how much your blog is reaching people. I have to say that one of the most rewarding things about blogging has been being able to make new connections with people I never would have crossed paths with otherwise. Thank you also for the feedback. I am planning some fun giveaways and am looking forward to visiting more of my readers' blogs!

What to Do!

2007-10-10T10:52:00.000-05:00

Just a note to say that I am considering closing down the blog. Not sure what to do yet. My visitor stats are very low and I'm wondering if the blog is fulfilling any kind of purpose at this time. I originally started Fruitful Vines because I wanted to write about the childbearing years from a biblical approach. I also wanted to reach out to other moms and provide sound information and encouragement. Thirdly, I wanted to brush up on my writing as I have a major writing project in mind and in heart to pursue. However, as traffic is so low, I think I may have to rethink the blog altogether or shut it down for now. If you have any feedback for me, let me know but please be kind.

Thanks :)

Post Partum Struggles

2007-09-24T11:58:00.000-05:00

When I was little I dreamed of being a mother. I LOVED playing with my dolls. I daydreamed of what it would be like to have little ones running around in my home.

When I got older, my dream came true. But, as I have been in the childbearing years for 12 years now, I have come to realize that sometimes reality presents challenges that no one can anticipate in their daydreams.

I am 5 weeks postpartum. I recently discovered I have a prolapse. I am only 31 and have few of the risk factors. I have felt devastation and sadness, fear and anger.

There are 4 main types of prolapse. The one everyone knows about is uterine prolapse. The others are cystocele (bladder) and rectocele (bowel) and enterocele prolapse. I seem to have a cystocele. In this case, the pelvic "floor" has weaked and allowed the bladder to shift down, pushing the vaginal wall downward as well. It causes a fleshy bulge and a sensation of fullness, among other possible symptoms. It is not life threatening but it is life altering.

After crying out to the Lord for help, I discovered Whole Woman. It is an organization created by Christine Kent to help women live with prolapse and work towards improving and reversing prolapse without surgery. After a very long few weeks, I have begun to feel some hope.

The statistics on prolapse are staggering. It is presumed that 50% of North American women suffer from some form of prolapse. But, prolapse often makes a woman feel embarrassed. So, no one is talking about this. But, Christine Kent and Whole Woman Inc. are working to change that. I encourage you, even if you are not suffering from prolapse, to look at the site and educate yourself on this invisible condition. It's not just a post-menopause condition. Young women like myself are suffering from it. It's not just related to having many births. Women can develop a prolapse after a first baby. It's not just related to vaginal births. A women with a history of c-sections can develop a prolapse. There is so much you can do to help avoid or improve prolapse.

I am talking about this because the last few weeks have been so lonely. You are not alone. I thank God for Whole Woman and as childbearing women, we need to start talking about these struggles and sharing the right tools for healing.

Transparently,

Julie-Anne

Homeschooling ...

2007-09-04T20:00:00.000-05:00

Today was our first day of homeschooling. I recently found my poster board of "Our Rules!" I had made up the first year we tried homeschooling. I dusted it off and put it up for all to see. I wanted to share it with you:

Our Rules!

SPIRIT:

Love the Lord with all your heart, soul and mind.

When you are Frustrated by a problem, pray and ask God for help.

When you pray, trust God for the answer... HAVE FAITH!

Read God's Word and hide it in your heart!

SCHOOL:

Keep your homeschool desk tidy.

Do the work assigned to you.

Ask questions.

Have fun exploring and learning.

SERVE:

When you are done playing with it, put it away.

Always put your dirty laundry in the hamper.

Always put your dirty dishes away.

Always hang up your coat and put your shoes away.

Whenever you can, lend a hand! (in the kitchen, outside, with the baby ...)

Make your bed everyday...even on weekends!

SHINE:

Be polite! Be courteous and gracious to each other.

Obey your parents.

Don't complain!

Have a thankful heart!

Think of others before yourself.

Remember, Mommy and Daddy love you: kisses and hugs are important!

Always communicate your feelings with each other.

Forgive each other.

God's little lamb

2007-09-02T14:37:00.000-05:00

The Lord was so near during Luukas' birth. That was only the beginning of a mini-saga that unfolded on the second day of my hospital stay. I felt ENVELOPED by God's arms and His presence during this time. Luukas was nursing so frequently and furiously on the second day. He also seemed to have some tummy pain. But, I felt that he was just hungry and doing what new babies do best... stimulating my milk production to meet his needs! In hindsight, I wish I had taken the early discharge offered to us that morning. But, with 3 little ones at home, I had wanted a second day to regain a little more strength before getting back to family life. That night, the night shift nurses kept offering to try and "calm" Luukas. I didn't feel I needed any extra help. However, I consented... a decision I regret.

"For You cause my lamp to be lighted and to shine; the Lord my God illumines my darkness." Psalm 18:28

Moments later, one of the nurses returned to my room saying they had decided to keep Luukas under observation for the night because his temperature was slightly elevated, he seemed agitated, and there was redness around his lips. I was strep B positive at the birth and because it went so quickly, I didn't get the full dose of antibiotics. However, the pediatrician had felt confident that Luukas was "a fine young man... and very healthy!". The nurses said they were worried about strep B and started him on antibiotic injections, more blood tests etc. They told me I could come to the nursery to see him but they shooed me out everytime I came in, saying I should get some sleep. I think I cried most of that night. And, I begged God not to take him from us. I read Psalm 18 feeling the Lord so close to me and managed to get a couple of hours of sleep. It was early morning and they had not brought him to me to nurse as promised. I could hear him crying in the nursery and I just cried and asked the Lord to send Luukas an "advocate". Minutes later, a day staff nurse I had worked with at a birth in March came into my room with Luukas and smiled. Brenda! She brought him to me to nurse and said he could stay with me. I noticed the little heart monitor stickers on his chest had a picture of a little lamb and I thanked the Lord for reminding me that He was Luukas' shepard too. After speaking with the pediatrician that morning, it was clear that the nurses had overreacted. He told me several times he was confident that Luukas was healthy but that they wanted to wait for the results of the strep B culture before we could go home. I kept Luukas with me all day, praying that the night staff would change. And, the night staff changed! The previous night, it was the older nurses who had never quite accepted me as a Doula and I felt somewhat belittled by their actions towards me and my son. Another prayer I prayed was that my milk would come in that evening... and it did! God met me at every turn, every corner, every bump in the road. The next morning, I was exhausted with being in the hospital, and with all of the poking and prodding Luukas was being subjected to. I prayed that the Lord would allow us to go home even though all the nurses were saying that it wouldn't be until the next day. The pediatricians on staff at our hospital are a father and son team, both dedicated Christians. The father was the first to care for Luukas. This morning, it was the son caring for Luukas. He came to see me and before I could ask to go home, he told me that he too felt Luukas was super healthy and that if the culture was still showing up negative at supper time, we could go home! My husband and I spent the day with Luukas, waiting to hear.... with a nervous confidence in our hearts. Late afternoon, another kind day staff nurse, Renee, came into the family room where we were, announcing that we could all go home. The culture was NEGATIVE and our mini-saga was coming to an end.

I am in awe at God's personal care for Luukas and I during this time. A few days after coming home, a dear friend of mine brought us a gift for Luukas... a handmade blanket with the words: "You are God's little lamb". She could not know how much these words meant to me after what Luukas had just been through. God is SO STRONG when we are so weak.

Julie-Anne :)

Growing Pains

2007-08-30T21:49:00.000-05:00

Tonight, my exhausted toddler begged me to put his little brother down so I could "carry" him. My oldest son was tearful as he pondered the fact that he is getting older. He said, "Mommy, I'm too old to snuggle with you". My toddler just turned 3. My oldest son is 11. Both of them are absorbing the changes brought on by the birth of Luukas in their own way. I know they say that "growing up is hard to do". I agree. I feel a sense of loss as I watch my toddler struggle to give up his "baby" spot. I feel nervous at the thought of my oldest heading into "teenhood" and eventually, his own family. How can I help these precious young boys adjust to growing into a new stage of life in our family, I wonder. I put myself in God's hands, that He might mold me into the mother these boys need...

Luukas' Birth Story

2007-08-30T15:13:00.000-05:00

Well, things are busy around here to say the least. I've been doing very little extra and concentrating on mothering my new baby and mothering my oldest 3 who are adjusting in their own unique ways to our new baby. I'm sneaking a few minutes to finally post something about Luukas' arrival into our world.

Luukas' birth story began when I was just heading into my 37th week of pregnancy. I began to feel a lot of menstrual-type cramping and lots of contractions. I was celebrating getting to the "full-term" stage which starts at 37 weeks. But, I knew that having the baby closer to his due date would be better for him and for me. At 37 1/2 weeks, my cramping was so heavy, my husband and I headed closer to the hospital and spent the night at my sister-in-law's thinking baby was on his way. By the next morning, everything settled down and we headed home after a quick check at my dr.'s. I was 3 cm and mostly effaced (cervix thinned out). The cramping and contractions continued until my 39th week. At 38 1/2 weeks we went in to the hospital wondering if I had a slow leak of amniotic fluid. The test strip was negative. I was beginning to feel VERY weary from all the cramping and contracting. I felt as though I was in early active labour... in pain but never making it into full blown active labour. I could now sympathize with my previous moms (clients) who had gone through this and to whom I had counselled to just be patient and wait! I was learning first hand that this kind of long early labouring takes a heavy toll on a mom. The obstacles I faced at this point were the fear of a precipitated (fast) birth and the full hour it takes to get to the hospital, the exhaustion I was feeling from all the "labouring" I was doing and the fact that my dr. was going away on holidays the week following my due date. I was due on a Sunday so we determined to try "stripping" my membranes on the Monday to encourage baby to come. This was the decision my husband and I made together, given our limited options and the obstacles we faced. Still, I hoped that the Lord would bring me to the time of birthing this baby before the stripping. The day before my due date, I was awakened by strong back pain at around 4:30 a m. I got up and sat in the living room... wondering if I had strained my back while sleeping... until I got a very strong contraction that left me breathless. But, they were very far apart (15 to 30 minutes apart). So, I watched middled-of-the-night cooking shows waiting for things to pick up. I had a bath and then went back to bed at 6:30am. I was contracting about every 10 to 15 minutes... but heavily. My husband opened his eyes and gently said to me that I was making the "right kind of sound" during my contractions and that maybe we should get going! I remember feeling a little incredulous... could it be? could the Lord have been so kind to me in starting me on this birthing path at home in my sleep instead of at the dr.'s office? Another thought that crossed my mind was, oh boy, this is it... I am having a baby today!! While I was still in bed, my toddler snuggled by me wanting his morning "nursing" and after about 30 seconds of that, my contractions picked up so much that I could not keep nursing him. We left home at around 8:30am... with a full hour's drive ahead of us. There were times in the van that I really felt that we weren't going to make it! We arrived at the hospital at 9:30am and I was already 7 to 8 cm dilated. My doctor was not on call but had promised me that she would be available should I have the baby over the weekend. She arrived with a smile, thanking me for having a mid-Saturday morning baby. She is really the only dr. I wanted at my birth. Bear in mind that I have worked as a Doula with all the drs on staff at this hospital. I know their birth ethics very well. And, I do not have access to midwifery care, not at home or in the hospital. She checked me again at 10 am and I was fully dilated but my membranes hadn't ruptured. She offered to rupture to bring the baby sooner. I hesitated and after a few hard contractions, I consented. But, the rupture revealed that my cervix wasn't quite fully dilated... still had a "rim". She offered to "push back" the rim and have me push, which left me completely breathless... unable to breathe, move and especially unable to push. She offered me some morphine at this point. I was feeling pressured to "push" and felt unable to keep my composure. I accepted. Yes, I accespted. I know I am a doula, this blog is focused on natural birth. But, in that moment, when I was in an environment where bright fluorescent lights were shining down on me... a team of 2 nurses and the dr. were urging me to push prematurely, and I felt pushed beyond my ability.... I grabbed a small lifeline. In the end, it helped me relax. But, I still couldn't push. So, we waited. I remember praying and asking God to give me those "pushing contractions" so that I could get through the final step in birthing my baby. The very next contraction came with an urge to push! Fifteen minutes and lots of sweat and tears later, my precious new baby boy was born (at 10:40am)! I was able to push very slowly and had only minor tearing. But, immediately after Luukas was born, I was hemorraging. The dr. acted quickly and it was considered a "minor" postpartum hemorrage. I thank the Lord that we did not have this experience at home or in the van on the way to the hospital. After that episode, it was back to sweet little Luukas. A BOY! Everyone thought for sure I was having a girl. I had secretly hoped for a sister for my daughter. But, oh the thrill in our hearts at the sight and meeting of Luukas. God, in His wisdom, has given us 3 boys and 1 daughter. I'm not sure if our family will grow again, but, there is nothing quite like a baby to swell your heart until it feels like it will surely burst at the seams! The biggest challenge in this birth, other than facing the constraints of the hospital culture, was the fear I had. My previous birth had somewhat traumatized me. I remember saying many times during this birth how scared I was. And, I kept anticipating the same kind of experience. But, the Lord was so near. And, Luukas was anterior (his back facing my tummy)which made all the difference! In my husband's words, it was "the best birth so far"!

Thank you for your love and prayers... it truly made a difference :)

Love,

Julie-Anne

Introducing...

2007-08-21T21:03:00.000-05:00

The newest member of our family:

Luukas Magnus
Born, Saturday, August 18th, 2007
At 10:40 am
Weighing 7lbs 6 ounces

I will post our sweet Luukas' birth story shortly... a testimony of answered prayers and God's faithfulness, not to mention some sweat and tears! :)

Blessings,

Julie-Anne

Sweet Encouragement

2007-08-16T20:32:00.000-05:00

"For God has not appointed us to [incur His] wrath [He did not select us to condemn us], but [that we might] obtain [His] salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah)" 1 Thessalonians 5: 9

In my Bible reading last night, I stumbled upon this verse. And, my heart suddently felt lighter. There was a revelation for me in this passage of scripture. It may seem small to many.... but to me, it was huge.

GOD HAS NOT SET ME UP FOR FAILURE!!

Wow. The Scriptures are so full of grace for us. As I strive, and often struggle to obey the scriptures, I often feel a loss of hope and energy. How could the Lord possibly bless my messy performance? How can I improve when my flesh drags me down?

Yes, indeed, the Lord calls us into a deeper walk with Him. Our lives should reflect His standards, His principles, His heart. But, when it all seems impossible, when the obstacles seem to overwhelm us, we can lean on His grace. He is not calling us to watch us fail. He is calling us to grace, to receive His salvation! He is calling us to victory in Him. I have to say again, wow.

Because, it's never been about our own abilities, BUT rather it's always been about His transforming power!

As a mom and a wife, I need this truth in my life. I cling to God's ability in my life. I want Him to outperform me, but also to outperform through me that I might walk in His will, His power, His light.

Thank you Father, for your sweet encouragement to me.

5 Reasons Why I'm Still Nursing My TODDLER

2007-08-14T09:14:00.000-05:00

#1- Because, in his own words, it tastes like "Strawberry Milk"! Who wouldn't enjoy
strawberry milk every day?

#2- Because, it can soothe any bump, scrape, bruise or hurt feelings! (After a recent fall,
my toddler asked to nurse saying, "I need to feel better Mommy!".

#3- Because, it floods both me and my toddler with relaxation when we are frustrated,
tired or stressed out. Vive les endorphines!

#4- Because, even though my toddler is really busy, I still get lots of cuddle time with him!

#5- Because, when my toddler wants to nurse, he sings his request to me!!

I'm not militant about long-term nursing, but, after deciding to follow my heart and my child's needs after my 3rd birth, I am crazy about long-term nursing! In honour of our breastfeeding relationship which will soon need to make lots of room for another little one, I dedicate this post to my precious little Mathias!

2007-08-08T15:34:00.001-05:00

Yes, I'm still waiting for baby to come :)

I'm new at this!

2007-08-08T13:40:00.000-05:00

Those of you who have read my posts know that this past year has been somewhat of a revolution for me. It is the year that I have come face to face with BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD and all it has to offer. I still have far to go even in establishing some new foundations for me and my family. It has impacted virtually every part of my life, from cooking to how I dress. I see life, and my role in it, so differently now. And, the learning process has sometimes been exciting and other times been exasperating. It is a new journey, one that I never want to abandon.

I visit blogs where women have come so far in biblical womanhood. I wonder if all the pieces can fall into place so sweetly at some point in my own life. So many ladies speak of having a heart change towards family size that includes their husband. Although I am sure I want more children, I have not had the priviledge of seeing a major heart change in my precious husband in this area. This has been the most difficult challenge of all. I have a wonderful and loving husband who has a great need for peace. I have all too often rocked the boat foolishly in our marriage. This time, I hope he is seeing real fruit and I know that I need to submit to him and to the Lord regarding how many more (if any) children I might be blessed to have. I sometimes read blogs of ladies with many children longingly, wondering if my womb will birth any more children after this one. I live in a small rural community. However, most people around here, even Christians, have modern ideologies of family, family-size etc. Our church is mostly made up of retired folks so there are no other families who attend regularly still having children.

Because this is new to me and not a heritage from my own mother, I have often felt isolated and strangely at odds with everyone else. And, that is painfully clear to me at times. I know it's more than a lifestyle. It's really a heart style. And, I often wonder if my husband and I had been able to start our journey together this way, there would be less adaptation, less debate, fewer battles. And, maybe it would be easier not to fall back into old habits and old ways of living.

Still, I thank God for his grace and his transforming love, for meeting me in my broken state, for taking me to a higher level, for challenging me to rise above, for carrying me in times of weakness.

Trying to live truthfully,

Julie-Anne

ps. check out this opportunity to join in on the study "The Power of Motherhood" by Nancy Campbell hosted by a new blogger friend of mine at A Woman's Journey Home.

Still Waiting

2007-08-01T14:27:00.000-05:00

Here's an update :) The cramping and contractions have seemed heavier to me in the last 24 hours than what I would think of as my body preparing for labour. Yesterday evening, family and friends urged me to make the one hour trip to my sister-in-law's to be close to the hospital as things had clearly picked up and intensified. Each day brings more intensity, but also more waiting. I snuck in a visit with my doctor today for a check as the pain I am feeling made me wonder if anything was changing. I was 2 to 3 cm and 70% effaced, membranes bulging and, in the doctor's own words "the head is right there". I appreciate my doctor because she did not want to commit us to staying at my sister-in-law's nor did she promise that things would go quickly. I have had clients have some cramping and contractions for days on end, sometimes weeks, before labour. However, I have been cramping/contracting at a rate of every 10 minutes for the last day or two, even at night, except for a few moments of sporadic cramping here and there.

My own feeling is that I am in a prolonged early labour state and beyond a preparatory phase. But, as I am learning with each birth I am a part of (whether my own or someone's else's) one can never be too sure. Birth is mysterious and often doesn't conform to our modern "knowledge". So there could be lots more waiting or a baby very soon!

I'm really thrilled to be back home and able to be more comfortable to "labour" for however many days it takes.

I will keep you in the know as much as possible :) and I so appreciate your prayers. I had a good cry with my husband today and released all kinds of tension and worries. I do want God's timing. I really need to take this one step at a time.

Love in Him,

Julie-Anne

ps. thanks for the comments on labour "starts"; it goes to show how diverse birth is!

Labour Dancing

2007-07-31T11:20:00.000-05:00

I have been having cramping and contractions off and on since this past Friday. But, since last night, the cramping is getting heavier and the contractions more intense. Still, I wonder if this is really it or if things will, once again, settle down!

I wanted to ask if anyone would be willing to leave a comment sharing their experience with the start of labour, whether it be slow or fast, obvious or obscure... whatever! I really feel like my body is in some sort of dance or tug of war.

All the while I'm thinking, with all my midwifery training and experience at births and with this being my fourth child, you would think I would be able to tell!! Sometimes birth (especially the beginning) is a little mysterious.

Thanks and I'll be sure to post again once I figure out what is really happening!

I made it!!

2007-07-29T08:39:00.000-05:00

This morning has a celebratory feel to it! My family is rejoicing because I have made it to 37 weeks. I remember my first appointment with my obstetrician. She took my history and said "Based on your obstetrical history, I would consider you at risk for another premature birth"! In my spirit, the words that immediately resounded within me were: "That is what she says, but God has the final word!". Modern medicine cannot limit our Lord's hand. Medical knowledge cannot predict his plans.

So, here I sit... 37 weeks pregnant and counting. I wonder how I could have ever doubted God's ability to do this! This journey has had an impact on my walk with Him. It has challenged me in areas of faith and abandonment to His plan. It has brought me back to a place of desiring to walk in His love. I realized recently that the hardest part of my last birth was that I felt separated (in my heart) from the Lord. I think, in some way, in the moments of that premature birth, I saw the whole event as evidence of the Lord's displeasure with me.... That, in that moment, he turned his back on me and withdrew His love from me. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

Throughout the weekend, I have had heavy cramping and strong contractions. But, after a few hours, everything seems to quiet down. I think I am in an early labour "dance" and I'm not sure how long this will go on. Whatever the Lord's timing for this birth is, it's an exciting time. Last night, as my husband was on his night shift, he excitedly phoned me twice, each time with a new and improved way of reaching him just in case. There is a sense of joy building in our home. I am so thankful to God for it.

I found a few scriptures in Isaiah that have encouraged me in these last days of pregnancy:

"They shall not labor in vain or bring forth [children] for sudden terror or calamity; for they shall be the descendants of the blessed of the Lord, and their offspring with them. And it shall be that before they call I will answer; and while they are yet speaking I will hear." Isaiah 65: 23-24

"Shall I bring to the [moment of] birth and not cause to bring forth? says the Lord. Shall I Who causes to bring forth shut the womb? says your God." Isaiah 66:9

Many blessings on you as you walk in His love!

My Pregnancy Update!

2007-07-26T21:39:00.000-05:00

Many have been sending notes saying they are thinking of me and praying for me. This means so much to me. Tina, Natalie and other new blog friends I have made, your notes of encouragement bring sunshine to my days. It has been busy around here! My parents are visiting and I have been helping my mom with a translation project. The children are busily enjoying the summer and there is no end to the activity around here!

No, this isn't a picture of our new baby. I am still pregnant and very much so at that! I am so thrilled to be approaching 37 weeks of pregnancy this Sunday! This is a photo of our precious Mathias who is almost 3. He has been such a joy and a delight to us. I pulled out this photo recently to relieve myself of all the anxiety I've been having about this upcoming birth by reminding myself of the preciousness of my babies and the joy and love that has come with each one. I'm also trying to walk more closely with the Lord in my heart so that I can be stronger spiritually through this next birth experience...and in general, have a better focus in my life.

Thanks for still visiting my blog even though life does not permit me to blog as regularly as I would like. I promise to keep you posted on my baby news! In the meantime, your prayers mean so much to me.

Blessings,

Julie-Anne :)

The Sacrifice of Love

2007-07-26T10:32:00.000-05:00

"And behold, a woman of the town who was an especially wicked sinner, when she learned that He was reclining at table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment (perfume). And standing behind Him at His feet weeping, she began to wet His feet with [her] tears; and she wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed His feet [affectionately] and anointed them with the ointment (perfume)."

Luke 7: 37-38

I have been thinking about the woman who poured out her perfume on Jesus' feet and washed his feet with her tears, with her kisses and with her hair. Jesus said of this woman, "Therefore I tell you, her sins, many [as they are], are forgiven her--because she has loved much. But he who is forgiven little loves little." (verse 47)

I was thinking of how much I have wanted to give the Lord my best efforts at motherhood, my obedience to His Word, my time in the study of His Word, all my strength in learning biblical womanhood... But, I was reminded by this woman who wept at Jesus' feet that there is one thing I had been neglecting lately. I had been neglecting to give Him my LOVE. Yes, I love the Lord. But, to just spend time in prayer telling Him how much I love Him, to think of Him affectionately throughout the day, to smile at the thought of my Lord, to embrace Him as my everything, including the saviour of my soul....

No, I was hiding behind my deeds instead of running to His loving arms.

And, I was looking for His love in my circumstances instead of finding it in communing with my creator.

This woman risked getting thrown out of this pharisee's home, she risked ridicule and rejection. But, she boldly came with what she had and offered it all to him. More importantly, she came to our Lord with all her LOVE.

Oh how I love Him.

Whether this birth is difficult or wonderful, I know He loves me. My struggles are not a sign of His lack of love for me. And, this time, I want to feel His love at this birth more than anything.

Come to Him with your LOVE, not just your efforts. Sit at his feet... embrace the feet of your saviour who has done so much for us!

Julie-Anne :)

Embracing Motherhood

2007-07-13T13:26:00.000-05:00

I have so much to share and so little time! I am so thankful to God for bringing me deep encouragement and practical hope for my weary mommy heart!

I will blog more on this...but I wanted to share some encouraging quotes I came across in the last 2 days:

"What does it mean to embrace motherhood? It means to put your arms around it and hug it tightly; to totally accept it; to make it your life work!"

Nancy Campbell in The Power of Motherhood

"Here is a little mouth to kiss;
here are two more feet to make music
with their pattering about my nursery.
Here is a soul to train for God,
and the body in which it dwells
is worth all it will cost,
since it is abode of a kingly tenant.
I may see less of friends,
but I have gained one dearer than them all.
Yes,
my precious baby,
you are welcome to your mother’s heart,
welcome to her time,
her strength,
her health,
to her most tender cares,
to her lifelong prayers!
Oh how rich I am, how truly, how marvelously blest!"

Elizabeth Prentiss in Stepping Heavenward

"Dirty dishes piled in a sink mean a family was gathered minutes before. The dining area was more than likely filled with laughter and jibber jabber of the day. Endless meal preparations, shows signs, that You have continued to provide food that we may eat and fellowship together. It means my little ones are growing healthy and strong. Floors to mop is evidence that 18 feet have scampered about them all the day long, some rushing for an owie to be kissed, some running to present mama with a flower picked just for her. Or maybe it is left with sticky residue representing the precious time spent between mama and her children, making cookies and discussing life....and You."

From Tina's blog in her post "A joy the world does not behold".

Mary and Elizabeth Friendships

2007-07-05T09:03:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, my dear cousin Patricia and I were sharing some of our everyday struggles. Although I always feel better after sharing with her, my heart was still weighed down. I picked up my Bible and fell upon Luke chapter 1, which was not part of my regular reading.

As I read about Elizabeth and Mary and their friendship, I knew the Lord was encouraging me in a big way. Mary ran to Elizabeth to tell her the good news of her heavenly conception and to share in the joy of Elizabeth's conception. They greeted each other with joyful shouting and were filled with the Spirit. They rejoiced at the promises made to them by the Lord. They enjoyed great fellowship for 3 months.

In the last year, the Lord has revolutionized my life. It started last summer when I stood in my kitchen completely exasperated with everything and cried out to the Lord for help. I remember saying to Him "I don't want to live this mediocre Christian life anymore... there has to be more than this!!" I also asked the Lord to help me learn to cook! That summer, I learned to bake bread, can jams and make homemade salsa. But, by far, the most revolutionary changes were taking place in my heart!

That same summer, a very dear friend of mine, Natasha, introduced me to the ministry of Above Rubies. I began to read their articles and subscribe to their free magazine. I just devoured and savoured those magazines. Every word was life to this tired and burned out mom and wife. But, most of all, I began learning of biblical principles that I had always desired in my heart but was never taught. I began to learn about the biblical blessing of having many children, my role in honouring my husband, modesty, serving my family, training my children according to the Bible. I returned to the Word and began to study it and understand it as never before! I became a Christian at 15 years of age. Since then, I have been mostly exposed to a very modern way of church with feminist principles. Until last summer, I had never heard of Titus 2. But, as a woman and a young bride, I had always CRAVED what has been coined "biblical womanhood".

I remember wanting to stay home and serve my family as I waited for my wedding day to arrive. Instead, I was pressured to leave home and attend university. I remember wanting a baby as a new bride. I was told to resist those feelings... but I just couldn't... we got pregnant in our first married year despite everyone's recommendation not to. I have always wanted a large family... I used to say 6 children and always endured a negative response to my big-family-dreams!

But now, it was the Lord through His Word who was encouraging me in these biblical principles of womanhood, motherhood and wifehood. I felt ALIVE again. The more I learned about these principles, the more I read about them in the Bible, my heart would joyfully shout within me : YES!

I have a husband who believes in me so much. He has watched all these changes take place in my heart and in our home with a lot of patience. These changes have not been without challenges. But, for the first time in my life, I felt fulfilled at home, and in my heart and soul. My husband is cautious about having many more children. But, we are having our fourth child and I am so thankful for his courage in welcoming another little life into our home.

At times, this new way of life feels lonely. And, as everyone around me adapts, I am trying to live gracefully, truthfully and lovingly. However, I have had times when I felt ready to give up on what the Lord has deposited in my heart. Then I read these words which Elizabeth spoke to Mary:

"And blessed is she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord." Luke 1:45

I believe that Mary and Elizabeth modelled a friendship that is indispensable to every Christian woman. When I read it, it sounded so sweet, so precious, so uplifting. I felt like Hannah, whose countenance was no longer sad. I felt encouraged to cultivate this kind of friendship with the few women in my life who have embraced biblical womanhood, to cultivate a "Mary and Elizabeth friendship". It is a place of fellowship and prayer and revelation from the Lord the way Elizabeth and Mary experienced. These precious women were so excited for each other for the promises they were carrying. They were filled with the Spirit and encouraged each other... the Lord revealing to Mary what He was doing in Elizabeth's life and then revealing to Elizabeth what He was doing in Mary's life. Wonderfully, those promises were hidden and fulfilled in their wombs. Find a friend who will get excited about what the Lord is doing in your life. Find someone who will pray for you and with you. Find someone who will be a constant encouragement to you. Find someone who is full of His Spirit and His love.

Most of all, strive to be this kind of friend to the women around you.

Julie-Anne

God is Faithful

2007-07-03T17:47:00.000-05:00

"They were confounded because they had hoped; they came thither, and were ashamed."

Job 6: 20 KJV

When I first got pregnant for this baby, I began to pray for a full-term pregnancy. I have been praying for this all along. When my dr. said that I was "at risk" for a premature birth again, I remember thinking that God would have the last word. Late last week, at almost 33 weeks of pregnancy, I realized that baby has already engaged. What followed were days of menstrual-like cramping, contractions and a multitude of other labour symptoms. I cried and cried as my body seemed to be threatening another premature birth. The labour symptoms were so real to me that I didn't think I would make it through this past weekend. I felt like the whole scenario with my last baby was replaying itself, only this time we were an additional 2 weeks earlier.

There was SO much disappointment in my heart.

My Naturopath sent me some Crampbark and some Natrum Muriaticum tinctures and I have been drinking up to 4 cups of red raspberry leaf tea every day. I have also put myself on some sort of bedrest.

Spiritually, I have not known what to pray. I am having trouble reconciling the sovereignty of God with my own desires for this birth. I realize now that I have begun to resign myself to another premature birth with all the challenges that go along with it. I have resigned myself...

What would have happened if the woman with the issue of blood had resigned herself and not pressed in to touch the hem of Jesus' garment? What would have happened if Hannah had resigned herself to barrenness and not come to the Lord in transparent desperation?

"...and in the morning shall my prayer come to meet You..." Psalm 88: 13

As I was sorting through baby clothes today, I came across my son's preemie outfits. And, his prayer blanket knitted by a dear old lady in our old church. As I go through all kinds of emotions, I keep coming to the Lord. In my heart, I know that His Word is true. In my heart, I know that He is merciful, loving and faithful. I'm not sure what the outcome of this birth will be. But, I want to come as Hannah did, boldly, transparently and expectantly. Because His Word tells me:

"Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, extend to the skies, and Your faithfulness to the clouds." Psalm 36:5

Julie-Anne

Baby Love

2007-06-28T19:11:00.000-05:00

One of my dear friends and frequent blog visitors gave birth this evening to a sweet baby boy! Nahum David is the third baby and second boy to be born to this precious couple. Amy was 10 days overdue and under pressure from the doctors to go in for an induction. She had tried moderate doses of castor oil the previous week without success. Her first birth was a c-section and her second birth was a successful vbac! She was reluctant to have too many interventions as she did not want to go "backwards" and end up with another c-section. We spoke throughout the day and prayed together over the phone. She and her husband chose the option of taking a small 6 hour timed-release dose of cervidel, a prostoglandin gel used to help soften the cervix and occasionally induce labour if mom's body responds strongly. We spoke at around 3:30pm and she was just starting to feel stronger contractions more frequently. She wanted a natural alternative or "push" as they were still wanting to break her water later that afternoon. So, she tried a method that naturally releases oxytocin (the hormone involved in labour). She tried nipple stimulation for several minutes. At the risk of sounding indiscrete, let me say that this natural oxytocin releaser can work wonders during birth and I have had many clients try it and avoid medical intervention or medical labour "pushers". With Amy's permission, I say that this was key in her birth story. Contractions quickly began to come on stronger and she walked as well to help them along. After about an hour of "hard" contractions, her water broke on its own and the urge to push soon followed. With five pushes, Nahum made his appearance into the world. When she phoned me at around 8pm, she was on cloud nine, happily nursing her newborn babe!

This baby was anterior. And, the methods used to bring on labour were mild. We poured a lot of prayer into this birth. I will admit I feared she might have a long and difficult birth ahead of her. I was SO thrilled when she phoned so early in the evening to share the wonderful news of the birth of her son and her wonderful birth experience.

These are the stories that renew my confidence in the Lord and in His design of birth. These are the stories that renew my belief that better births are possible with prayer and informed choice.

Blessings,

Julie-Anne

My Baby Prayer Blanket

2007-06-27T21:03:00.000-05:00

"And God did unusual and extraordinary miracles by the hands of Paul, So that handkerchiefs or towels or aprons which had touched his skin were carried away and put upon the sick, and their diseases left them and the evil spirits came out of them." Acts 19: 11-12

After giving birth prematurely to my 3rd child, I received a knitted baby blanket from a dear lady where we attended church. She explained to me that as she knitted this blanket, she prayed for my child continuously. Wow. I was very touched. It had been a difficult time for us. I had not come to terms with our son's early arrival. The birth had been so hard, the tears plentiful and the challenges overwhelming. It had also been a difficult pregnancy. Bleeding and cramping throughout etc. It was as if the Lord was showing me that He had commissioned others to carry us in prayer. I remember thinking that I would probably never fully understand the impact of those prayers and the spiritual battles won for my son's life.

So, with this pregnancy, I began (finally) to work on a small baby quilt for this baby. I applique'd (with fusible web...basically, an iron-on technique... so easy!!) 11 stars on this quilt. I remembered this lady and her "prayer blanket" and decided I would hand stitch around these stars, giving me PLENTY of time to pray for this little one's womb life, birth, and future. I must admit there are many distractions while I sew but I have tried to cry out to the Lord for this little one whenever I work on this blanket.

I was reminded today of how important it is for me to be carrying this little one in the spiritual as well as in the physical. I had a very uneventful visit with my doctor today. However, we both concluded that this little one has already "engaged" or dropped deep into my pelvis. I must admit I have been a little nervous lately. I am 32 weeks and my last baby was born at 35 weeks. I truly want to make it to 37 weeks, although I have been asking the Lord for the full 40 weeks! My babies tend to engage early. I know this *contributes* to my premature births. However, this pregnancy has been the least eventful so far. I am hopeful, but wonder how long the Lord will grant us in this pregnancy.

The Bible gives more than one example of a "spiritual cloth". Remember the woman who touched the hem of Jesus' garment? Healing flowed to her through his garment. Acts tells of handkerchiefs, towels and aprons touched by Paul bringing healing and deliverance to others. God is so powerful, so amazing, that the power of His Spirit can linger on cloth! His ways so simple that the power of the prayers of His people can travel in an apron! So, as I pray for this child, stitch by stitch, I wait on Him, hope in Him and rely on Him for every simple and ordinary thing concerning this little one and, if need be, for "unusual and extraordinary miracles".

Here's a look at the top of my baby star quilt. It was very easy to put together. Instead of doing the traditional quilt top and back with a layer of batting in between, I got some fleece and I am just stitching the quilted front directly onto the fleece back. It will be a lighter and more fluid blanket, I hope.

I found this pattern here.

Blessings,

Julie-Anne

Birth is Hard

2007-06-23T16:22:00.000-05:00

My husband and I have been talking over this next birth of mine. I am 32 weeks tomorrow and as I get closer to the time of this birth, it has been on my mind more and more. I expressed, with optimism, my hope that this birth would be easier than the last one. I said to my husband "I don't want to scream this time". He smiled and said, "Hon, it's ok if you scream this time. Birth is hard." He then reminded me that each of our three births had their exasperating moments.

He was right. I had "I can't do this" moments at each birth. Yes. Most of us do. And, this is not a testament to our own abilities but rather a normal reaction to the intense physical task our body is performing. Normal. Hmmm.

I have been to many births and have seen some women work twice as hard for their births than others. Although many factors affect our ability to cope with birth, there is one most important factor that affects our birth experiences more than anything. And, here I come back to some of my original posts on this recently-neglected blog.

Your baby's position can make all the difference at birth.

I was reminded of this when I read a Crystal's birth story on her blog. You can read it here and I would encourage you to read it as it illustrates how your baby's position truly affects your birth experience and your pain experience that goes along with it.

I will NEVER understand why so many midwives and health care providers do not pay more attention to the position of the baby before birth. So many are satisfied with a "head down" position. This is crucial... don't get me wrong. We all sigh a sigh of relief when we know baby is head down. However, if baby's back is facing mom's back, creating a POSTERIOR position, much of what Crystal describes in her post is typical of those births. And, I have had them. The OPTIMAL position for baby is for his/her back to be facing mom's belly, outwards (ANTERIOR). And, why should health care professionals pay MORE ATTENTION to this? Because there is much that can be done to encourage a baby to settle into an anterior position in the last several weeks of pregnancy. And, there is much that can be avoided during those weeks that would contribute to a posterior position. For more on this, read these posts of mine.

"What Position is Your Baby In?"

"Persistently Posterior?"

Another reason health care professionals should pay more attention to the baby's position is that, IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE at births. In Crystal's own words: "It was only after Kaitlynn was born that we discovered why my labor was so difficult and progression was much slower: Kaitlynn was sunny side up (or occiput posterior)."

Crystal says, of her posterior birth: " Without a doubt, yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life." I would describe both my posterior births the same way. More importantly, Crystal describes the difference between this birth and the previous one. "Unlike Kathrynne's birth, I couldn't talk or think coherently in between the contractions. All I could do was try and gather my little meager ounces of strength left, try to relax, and try to focus on getting ready for the next contraction. I wanted to break down and cry from the pain and exhaustion - which, for those of you who know me, is not at all typical."

I must admit, I had become a little too relaxed in encouraging this baby to settle into an anterior position. And, after talking with my husband, I wondered if I needed to resign myself to another possible difficult birth. But, Crystal's birth story reminded me of what I have learned over the years in childbirth. Baby's position makes all the difference. I will do what I can to encourage this baby to "go anterior" and leave the rest up to the Lord. Posterior births ARE do-able. Crystal and I and many other moms are living proof of that. But, working towards an "anterior birth", in my experience and in my opinion, is definitely worth every effort!

Thank you, once again, for reading!

Julie-Anne

ps. thanks to Crystal for sharing so candidly her birth story with everyone on her blog! And, in case Crystal ever reads this post, I'm so glad you are on the other side of it too :)

Stand in awe of God's Yes!

2007-05-19T13:12:00.000-05:00

"All you who fear God,
how blessed you are!
how happily you walk on his smooth straight road!
You worked hard and deserve all you've got coming.
Enjoy the blessing!
Revel in the goodness!
Your wife will bear children as a vine bears grapes, your household lush as a vineyard, The children around your table as fresh and promising as young olive shoots.
Stand in awe of God's Yes.
Oh, how he blesses the one who fears God!"

Psalm 128: 1-4 The Message

Is our biblical foundation sound, or is it shaky? What do we value above all else? Is this "big family" thing just another fundamentalist trend or is it the heart of God? When we make life choices, do they reflect God's heart? What does the Bible say about our values?

Are we HUNGRY for God's blessings?

Are we hungry for God's Yes?

I recently stumbled upon a jaw-dropping portion of scripture in Luke. I think it happened when I was doing a keyword search on Biblegateway.com. I read it and sat there with a look of shock. It took me a minute to recover from what had just been deposited into my heart.

"And as they led Him away, they seized one Simon of Cyrene, who was coming in from the country, and laid on him the cross and made him carry it behind Jesus. And there accompanied [Jesus] a great multitude of the people, [including] women who bewailed and lamented Him. But Jesus, turning toward them, said, Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for Me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. For behold, the days are coming during which they will say, Blessed (happy, fortunate, and [g]to be envied) are the barren, and the wombs that have not borne, and the breasts that have never nursed [babies]! Luke 23:26-29

Jesus is on his way to the cross. He tells the women who are mourning for him to instead weep for themselves and their children. Why? This is the jaw-dropping part. Because ONE DAY, people will value childlessness more than fruitfulness. Children, above all else, are God's best gifts to us. This is a biblical principal that starts in the garden of Eden and is a common thread throughout the Bible. But, I was surprised to see it pop up WHEN JESUS IS ON HIS WAY TO THE CROSS. Start mourning he says. Start weeping for the change of heart that is coming regarding God's gift of children. Wow.

God likens childbearing women to grape vines.

It is an image used throughout scripture. The idea of a vine bearing little or nothing, the idea of the vintage failing, compels God and Jesus to call out to women for prayer and weeping. We see the same call in Isaiah 32. "They (women who are at ease) shall beat upon their breasts for the pleasant fields, for the fruitful vine," verse 12.

Do we really see ourselves as fruitful vines? Do we really want the blessing of bearing children as a vine bears grapes? Can God's YES become our YES? I write this because all I want is the real living Word of God. I want the AUTHENTIC Christian life. I want BIBLICAL womanhood. If God covers me with His blessing, pitches a tent over me and rains down His Spirit and His Word of Life to cause my household to become a lush vineyard, I say YES!

Julie-Anne

Do not be afraid!

2007-05-12T09:16:00.000-05:00

I have not been able to post for sometime. I was recently encouraged by a friend to start posting again. My weekly traffic report tells me some people are still visiting my blog!! If you are one of these people, thank you! This blog is still very small. Even so, it's a good outlet for me to write about the things I am passionate for... birth, motherhood and finding God's heart for me in all of that. So, here goes. Another post. Finally!

"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" 2 Corinthians 10: 3-5 KJV

I don't know about you but FEAR is one thing I am wresting with constantly. Now that I'm pregnant again, I have been working through the fear that this might be another difficult birth. I recently heard of a mother my age with young children being diagnosed with a brain tumor. You guessed it. I began to fear that my life would be cut short or that my children's lives would be cut short. Whenever I have wonderful moments of joy with my family and my husband, I fear that somehow I will be widowed at a young age and that all of the joy will abruptly end. It's very heavy carrying around all that fear. And, let me just say, all of it is EXHAUSTING!

In the physical, I cannot do anything to change or affect the outcome of my fears... save trying to keep my children safe, providing healthful foods for my family to be strong and healthy, making positive childbirth choices etc... My fears are strong in the physical realm. But the powerful Word of God tells me that my weapons through God are MIGHTY for the pulling down of strongholds!! WOW. Fear is a stronghold in my life. But, in the Lord, I have weapons to overthrow this stronghold.

These spiritual weapons are for casting down imaginations and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ!! That sounds like the perfect warfare for my fears. They live in my imaginations and in my thoughts.

I am going to suggest that some of these weapons include:

The Word of God:

I've heard many women say they print out scriptures and post them where they will see them all the time (over the kitchen sink, in the bathroom etc...). The Word of God is our ultimate weapon against the attacks of the enemy on the mind! Use it. Cling to it. Speak it out loud. Learn it by heart. Write it on your doorpost or above your kitchen sink! And, by all means, use all the sticky notes you can find!

"... By [speaking] the word of truth, in the power of God, with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand [to attack] and for the left hand [to defend];" 2 Corinthians 6: 6-7

Prayer:

Think of it. Through prayer Hannah's womb was opened and she bore Samuel plus 5 more children! Through prayer, David stopped a plague on his people (2 Samuel)! Through prayer, the Lord gave Leah, the undesired wife, many sons. Through prayer, King Hezekiah received healing (2 Kings 19)! Through prayer, Elijah stopped the rains for 3 1/2 years (1 Kings 17)!

"For the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous (those who are upright and in right standing with God), and His ears are attentive to their prayer." 1 Peter 3:12

"Rejoice and exult in hope; be steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12

"... The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with." James 5:16 The Message

Total Abandonment to God:

This concept has set me free from many things. It brings TRUST in God to a whole new level. It's one thing to "trust" someone, it's another thing entirely to totally abandon our lives to them. But, oh the freedom when we abandon ourselves and everything in our lives to God. Oh the relief when we let go of all our baggage and lay down all our heavy burdens! And, why should we let go? Because we belong to the Almighty, Powerful, Intimate, Personal, Creator of the Universe!

"As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is tried. He is a Shield to all those who trust and take refuge in Him." 2 Samuel 22:31

"And the Lord helps them and delivers them; He delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they trust and take refuge in Him." Psalm 37:40

Fellowship with strong believers who are also encouragers!:

"And they journeyed from Bethel and had but a little way to go to Ephrath [Bethlehem] when Rachel suffered the pangs of childbirth and had hard labor. When she was in hard labor, the midwife said to her, Do not be afraid; you shall have this son also." Genesis 35:16-17

I love this biblical example of LABOUR SUPPORT. Rachel's midwife is encouraging her not to fear and reminding her that the fruit of her hard work and her pain will bring forth a child! She is helping her PRESS ON! And, whether she realized it or not, her words were inspired by God. The last time I checked, there was no ultra-sound technology in Rachel's day. How did the midwife know Rachel was carrying a son? Her words were soothing to Rachel. And, they reminded her of the prize.... her precious baby son! Find people in your life who will encourage you and remind you of the ultimate prize... eternity with God. Encouragers are vital to a birthing mom but vital to moms throughout their lives as well!! Don't underestimate the power of a godly, encouraging and refreshing friendship. And, never underestimate the Lord's ability to speak to you through the encouraging words of a believing and praying friend.

I believe life with God is meant to be an intimate one. Like a child running to her daddy's arms for protection. Like the feeling of peace that comes over me when my husband is home at night. God is the maker of peace. He can cause it to permeate the atmosphere in your heart and in your home. Because when our weapons of warfare are in God, they are mighty to pull down the strongholds of fear. MIGHTY. Like, the kind of MIGHTY that creates living human beings out of dust.

Take a deep breath. Dive in. You won't be sorry. Because, according to God's Word, total abandonment breeds PEACE. And, in my books, peace is the ultimate pulling down of the stronghold of fear!

"In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You, Lord, alone make me dwell in safety and confident trust." Psalm 4:8

Thanks for reading!

Julie-Anne

ps. All my scriptures are in the Amplified version unless stated otherwise. Also, you've probably noticed that I spell some words differently (eg: labour instead of labor)! Welcome to Canadian English :)

Is it a BOY or a GIRL?

2007-04-23T09:57:00.000-05:00

"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb." Psalm 139:13

I am constantly being asked if the baby I am carrying is a boy or a girl. My husband and I decided that we would not request that information at the ultrasound. As it turns out, the hospital where I had my 18 week ultrasound has a policy against revealing baby's gender to its parents. So, in that sense, it made all the more easy to overlook that part, if I can put it that way! I will admit my temptation to look carefully for any signs of outdoor plumbing. But, thankfully, I didn't see anything that would allow me to make any definite conclusions. I have 2 boys and 1 girl. We did not find out for the first 2. With my 3rd pregnancy, I was bleeding and there were a lot of emotions at the time of the ultrasound. We decided to find out, in a way to bond more with this baby whom we feared we might lose, and of course, there was the curiosity factor. It was another boy. My oldest son was happy, and I think he would have been either way. He is quite sweet and easy going. My daughter desperately wanted a sister. She cried for what seemed like hours and it took her a long time to accept that she was having a baby brother. I truly believe that if she had found out when she met the baby, she would have been happy because there would have been this cute, adorable little baby to hold. But, during the pregnancy, this little guy was hiding out in the womb, unable to woo her with his big blue eyes. In the end, it was love at first sight. But, we decided that we would not find out the gender of any future babies ahead of time. So, for now, this baby's gender remains a mystery.

"I don't mind if it's a boy or a girl, as long as the baby is healthy!". I can't tell you how many times I've heard this. As I share with other moms, I realize that, many parents DO care what gender the baby will be. I grew up in a house "full" of girls. There were 3 of us. And, each time my mom got pregnant, there were hopes for a son to carry on the family name. My father is the only man in his generation who carries his family's name. They decided to try a 4th time and, eureka!, our little brother was born. I know another mom who had 4 children, hoping each time that she would have a daughter to dote on. She has 4 boys. She loves her sons, of course, but I know she felt disappointed at not having a girl. As for me, if I am transparent for a minute here, I have to say that I would like to have another daughter. My 9 year old daughter said to me of this baby: "Mommy, I BELIEVE it's a girl! My mother-in-law has already made up a pink blanket. And, everyone in my extended family has made it known that it would be nice if it was another girl, as if, somehow, I had some control over that!

I hope to have more children. And, this hope makes it easier to not get caught up with gender expectations. I find that large families are less preoccupied by gender. First, they never feel like they only have 2 or 3 chances at having that son for dad or that daughter for mom. There are plenty of opportunities for children of both genders to be born to them. However, even large families can have mostly boys or mostly girls!

The thing about babies and gender is that it is a perfect opportunity for us moms to abandon ourselves to the will of God. He alone determines who this little person inside of us is. He has made some of us to be mothers of a house full of boys, or girls, or for others, a perfect mix of both. We all love our children. But, if we have disappointed hopes for a daughter or a son, we can rest in knowing that God matched us with the children He created especially for our care! I have been asking the Lord to help me not get too focused on gender and just allow myself to fall in love with this unborn baby. I know that His plan is the best one. If it means that I will be surprised to mother yet another son, I want to cherish that gift and accept that challenge wholeheartedly. If I do indeed have the opportunity to mother another daughter, I will be tickled pink! Either way, I have never met a baby of mine I didn't like!

Blessings,

Julie-Anne

The God of ALL comfort!

2007-04-20T11:28:00.000-05:00

"Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God." 2 Corinthians: 3-4

A big cause of my struggle to blog regularly comes from fatigue I have been fighting lately. I'm tired! Yes, I'm pregnant. But, I'm also spiritually tired. We face battles, don't we? And, we (or I) sometimes try to ignore them or treat them like a walk in a field of daisies. I have been intent on practicing contentment or trying to. And, I'm learning that practicing contentment doesn't mean pretending all is well, it means focusing on the blessings and smiling when you don't feel like it because of those blessings. However, I want to be real about the challenges I face. I need to be honest about the discouragement or the feelings of inadequacy. I need to be transparent about my fears.

Some of my challenges are physical. I'm barely 6 months pregnant and my pelvis is already quite sore. I'm quite swollen in places I won't mention here on the blog! I seem to completely run out of energy by supper time...lumbering around, unable to catch my toddler for pyjama time! Other challenges I face are emotional. I feel kind of stagnant. I'm trying to serve and honour my husband and mother my children with all that is in me. Only, my all is considerably less than it has been. I fight feelings of guilt over my performance as a mom, my spiritual growth etc. I do feel as if God is rebuilding a foundation in my life. This time, it's not a foundation based on church fads and North American ideologies, it's deeply rooted in the Word and the truth contained there about motherhood, womanhood, and wifehood. It has been a revolution to say the least. And, the excitement and overflowing life it has brought me is beyond words. However, as I said, with a great deal of challenges right now, I feel like I have screeched to a halt in the foundation-building. The waters of my soul feel somewhat stagnant.

But there is ONE who can stir the waters again and revive me!!

His name is "the God of all comfort". Oh, when I read those words in my Bible lately, it was a welcomed reminder! It was a resting place for me in my physical and emotional exhaustion. Life has its challenges. I don't always know what to do or how to overcome them. Life is also full of emotions. And, I sometimes spend an entire day just fighting my fears or my discouragements. The ONLY answer in these moments is to turn to the God of ALL comfort.

The ONLY solution lies with Him. What else can I say?

Blessings,

Julie-Anne

Strength and Dignity

2007-04-18T18:44:00.000-05:00

Proverbs 31 tells us that the virtuous wife was clothed in strength and dignity. STRENGTH and DIGNITY. Now, these are 2 things every woman needs as she gives birth. Strength to do the work and birth her baby. Strength to trust God during the hardest parts of birth. Strength to welcome birth. Dignity to birth in a safe place with people she trusts. Dignity to have her choices and values respected at birth. Dignity to be given the ability to make decisions for herself and her baby.

I have gone to great lengths to secure dignity at my births. Even with all my careful planning, I have not always experienced the dignity I sought. Stuck somewhere between procedural guidelines and accomodating interns, I have been left with a sense that I, the mother, was an afterthought and that the focus was more on how my physiology was performing, if my baby was breathing, and if my birth was meeting hospital policy. It's a far cry from the "blooming flower" and "relaxing beach" visualizations.

Not all of us are afforded the dignity we seek at our births. Many of us are given over to interventions that deny us the opportunity to search deep within for the God-given strength to give birth. But, I dare say, most of us long for a sense of dignity at birth. Most of us desire to experience a greater level of strength while birthing.

However, whether people afford you the dignity you deserve, whether they foster the strength you seek, you can clothe yourself in dignity and strength.

Here are some synonyms (taken from dictionary.com) of the word dignity to give you an idea of what I mean:

character

decency

distinction

ethics

grace

poise

quality

respectability

self-respect

virtue.

Here are some synonyms for strength (also taken from dictionary.com):

backbone

brute force

courage

nerve

power

security

stability

steadiness

tenacity

zip

Just some food for thought.

Planted in my home!

2007-04-16T15:42:00.000-05:00

To my very patient readers, thank you once again for coming back even though it seems I have only been able to write 1 - 2 posts/week lately.

As I was doing some spring cleaning, I found a poem my daughter wrote me not so long ago. She is 9 years old. It reminded me of how thankful I am that I am a Keeper at Home (homemaker, stay-at-home mom etc.). The Lord has restored me to this role after several years in the work force. My daughter was just a toddler when I began working. My husband struggled with being under-employed. I began work in a Federal Office, to help pay the bills. I can't tell you how many tears were shed by my children and I throughout those years.

But, the Lord saw me at my kitchen sink, He saw me sharing tears with my children, He saw me in my moments of exhaustion. He restored my life and gave me the gift of being planted in my home!

Without further ado, I share with you a sweet poem written by my daughter who is now enjoying having mommy at home! Thanks be to our wonderful Lord for his gifts!

Dear Mommy,

You're not really sour I think you're sweet
Cause lemons aren't people you're supposed to meet.
So thank you for being a sweet mommy.
I don't want to be your daughter with a downy face alone in the dark.
So thanks for comforting me.
It is a pleasure to spend a whole life with you as the years go past.
Thanks for everything!!

Your love,

Abbie

"I will praise the name of God with a song and will magnify Him with thanksgiving, And it will please the Lord better than an ox or a bullock that has horns and hoofs." Psalm 69:30-31

Life Springs

2007-04-10T09:10:00.000-05:00

"As you know not what is the way of the wind, or how the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a pregnant woman, even so you know not the work of God, Who does all." Ecclesiastes 11:5

Throughout this Easter, I was thinking about the gift of life. As a believer in Christ, I celebrate the gift of eternal life through the atonement of my sins by the death and resurrection of Jesus. So much love. And, I received it without having to earn it. So much grace. As a mother, and especially as a pregnant mother, every movement I feel from this little one also causes me to celebrate the gift of life! So much wonder. We do not know how God breathes spirit and life into the womb. But, oh, what a gift! Oh, what a sweet reward. That God would give us the blessing of a womb...a secret place where he fashions new life. That God would make women life-givers!

I don't know all of my readers' stories. I know some have lost children, others have only been able to have a limited number of children. I want to do a post (in the near future) about the promise and hope the Word of God has for barren women. Whatever state your womb might be in, whether full or empty, whether barren or fruitful, whether in pain, whether removed by the hands of a surgeon, thank Him for the blessing of the womb. The womb represents the secret place where God meets with us and knits us together (Psalm 139). The womb is a place where God's breath of life can be felt (Ecclesiastes 11:5). The womb is a place where sorrow can be turned into joy (Psalm 113:9)! We have all spent time in a womb. And, there, God met us with His gift of life.

"The man called his wife's name Eve [life spring], because she was the mother of all the living." Genesis 3:20

Whatever the challenges of having a womb may bring, God has made you a life spring! May life SPRING out of our hearts and our mouths for our families to be lifted up. May we be filled with the life and love of Christ that we would be life springs wherever we go! Thank Him today for His design. Thank Him for creating you a woman, a life spring!

"Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life." Proverbs 4:23

Blessings,

Julie-Anne

Persistently Posterior?

2007-04-03T15:31:00.000-05:00

"Mother's job is to dilate, baby's job is to rotate." www.spinningbabies.com

I profoundly believe that your baby's position will have a HUGE impact on your birth experience. I have observed this truth in my own births and in many other births I have been to. What I love about optimal fetal positioning is that it is a testimony to God's amazing design of our birthing bodies. The Lord specially designed our wombs and reproductive systems. It is indeed a wonderful secret place!

When we talk about optimal fetal positioning, we are talking about a baby who is presenting head down with its back towards its mother's tummy. This is what we call an ANTERIOR baby. This position offers the line of least resistance for baby to make the necessary rotations in birth and for labour to progress well.

Many babies will present in a POSTERIOR position, meaning they are head down with their back towards their mother's back. I found some interesting statistics on midwiferytoday.com comparing births where babies were anterior and births where babies were posterior. The numbers speak for themselves. The posterior presentation can lead to longer births, more instrumental deliveries, more interventions.

I have posted only some of the statistics. For additional statistics, see midwiferytoday.com.

Comparative statistics for persistent occiput posterior (OP) fetal position and occiput anterior (OA) include:

OP (Posterior) OA (Anterior)
_________________________________________________
labor longer than 12 hours: 49.7% / 26.2%
*length of stage 2 greater than 2 hours 53.3% / 18.1%
**spontaneous delivery 37.7% / 83.9%
***assisted vaginal delivery 24.6% / 9.4%
cesarean delivery 37.7% / 6.6%
third- or fourth-degree tear 18.2% / 6.7%
— Persistent fetal occiput posterior position: obstetric outcomes. Obstet Gynecol 2003; 101:917

*stage 2 refers to the pushing stage
**spontaneous delivery refers to giving birth without the need for medical equipment such as forceps or the vaccuum extractor
***assisted means with the help of medical equipment

In my post "What position is your baby in?" I gave tips on how to promote and encourage your baby into an anterior position.

If you know or suspect that your baby is posterior, don't panic. Adopt forward leaning positions such as leaning over pillows or an exercise ball to watch TV or to read, spending time on your hands and while while playing with your toddler, rocking your pelvis back and forth, side to side, round and round while sitting on a chair or on an exercise ball. In her book "Sit up and take notice: Positioning yourself for a better birth", Pauline Scott suggests pelvic rocking 3 times daily for 20 minutes and, instead of hands and knees, knees and chest 3 times daily for 20 minutes to help turn a persistent posterior baby around. She also suggests waiting until your baby is awake and moving around to do these exercises so that baby will be more likely to actively rotate. Spinningbabies.com has similar recommendations for optimal fetal positioning, based on 3 principles: 1st Relax the uterine and pelvic ligaments with self care and body work, 2nd Use gravity-friendly maternal positioning in pregnancy and labor, and 3rd Move and open the pelvis during contractions. This is a great website that takes an interesting and in-depth approach to the principles found in Pauline Scott's book. Also, a blogger friend of mine recommended The Pink Kit which is an educational kit on the principle of optimal fetal positioning. If anyone knows of any other resources, please post a comment and let us know!

The more we understand how the Lord designed us, the more we can work towards a better birth. This is not man's wisdom. It is the Lord's creation. Above all else, we should lean on the Lord's guidance for our births. After all, the Bible tells us that He was forming us in our mother's womb. He was fashioning us with our own womb. He is an intimate God, even going into the womb to perform His miracles. The Message version of Psalm 139 says: "Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration--what a creation!" Above all else, let us learn to worship Him for the wonder of birth and for the blessing of a womb!

Blessings,

Julie-Anne

New Things!

2007-04-02T12:47:00.000-05:00

"I am the Lord; that is My name! And My glory I will not give to another, nor My praise to graven images. Behold, the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them." Isaiah 42:8-9

Spring is a rejuvenating season...both for the earth and for me! I live in Northern Canada and after a long, cold winter, when spring is in the air, dramatic changes take place. Several feet of snow melt away, revealing a beautiful and sleepy landscape. The songs of birds fill the air as they return to the still leafless trees to make their nests. The days begin to lengthen and the sun warms the earth. The smells of spring intoxicate young and old alike, sparking excitement and new found strength. Eventually, the ground will dry up, the grass will turn green, the trees will begin to bud and the flowers will poke through the fields. The wild animals will be busy, nurturing their recently birthed young.

Former things have come to pass to make room for new life, new growth and NEW HOPE. Each pregnancy I go through feels this way to me. A new adventure, a new life, and new hope! My adventurous side just loves the expectations a pregnancy brings for me and my family! And, more than anything, I love the hopes and dreams that fill my mind during this special, intimate time with my new child!

In the same way spring brings new life, I believe each pregnancy and birth opens the door for the Lord to declare new things in your life. A sort of renewal. The old things passing away. New life and new HOPE being declared. A new work in your heart and your mind and your spirit!

While you wait for your little one to "spring forth", allow the Lord to declare NEW THINGS in your life. Let it be a season of new things. Thank Him for the former things. Most of all, let it be a season of new hope. For, the renewal that the Lord brings into our lives, is far more DRAMATIC and far BETTER than what a mere season can do to the earth!

Blessings,

Julie-Anne

What Position is Your Baby In?

2007-03-31T10:06:00.000-05:00

"For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother's womb."
Psalm 139:13

There is a wonderful book written by Pauline Scott called "Sit Up and Take Notice! Positioning Yourself for a Better Birth" (isbn 0-473-09459-2). I HIGHLY recommend that moms read this book during pregnancy. Even though I had been a midwifery student for several years, I never understood the body mechanics of birth the way I do after having read this book. I carry this book with me to all of the births I support. Unfortunately, I have not been able to find anyone online who carries this book. I will share its wisdom and other tips I have learned from experience regarding baby's positions in several posts. If anyone knows of a current supplier who carries the book, please let me know!

There is so much to say on the issue of baby's position and how it plays a CRUCIAL role in your birth experience and outcome. It's all part of God's design!

Most moms and health professionals are satisfied once they have established that baby is head down. But, truthfully, that is only one small part of the big picture. While most babies will lie head down, their position can vary. Here are the most common positions for a "head down" presentation:

Anterior: baby's back is facing out towards your belly. This position is called Optimal Fetal Positioning as it is, in Pauline Scott's words "the most common position and the most effective one for his journey through your pelvis. This angle follows the line of least resistance". Anterior babies usually prefer lying to the left of your pelvis, although they can also lie to the right.

Posterior: baby's back is facing towards your back. Pauline tells us "In this position, your baby may meet with some resistance because of the angle he has begun in. His journey through your pelvis may be slower than the "anterior" baby. This is because he heas to turn his head 180 degrees to find the same angle that the anterior baby has taken (the "anterior" baby only has to rotate 90 degrees or less)." I would add that this position can slow down labour, increase your sensation of pain, and add an unwanted obstacle to achieving a VBAC. It is not an impossible position to birth a baby in, however, it is a more challenging one. Posterior babies usually lie towards the right.

Lateral: baby's back is facing your side. This position can easily turn into an anterior position, the most optimal position for birth, especially when he is facing your left side.

Perhaps your are thinking "Huh?". If you can find a doll or stuffed animal, try this. Place the doll with its head down and back against you, slightly turned to the right. That's a typical posterior position. Now, turn the doll around with its back facing away from you, slightly turned to the left. That's a typical anterior (optimal) position. Now, turn the doll's back to face out towards your side and you're looking at a lateral position.

How can you tell if your baby is posterior or not? Well, there are some clues that moms can have. An anterior baby has its back out towards your belly. So, more than likely you will feel "rolling"sensations when baby moves. Also, if you lie down and use your palms and fingers to palpate or feel around, you will feel a big mass which would be your baby's back. An anterior baby's heartbeat is easy to find.

If your baby is posterior, you will feel a lot of little pokes and kicks towards your front and you might have more of an ache in your lower back as you head into your last weeks of pregnancy. When you lie down to feel for baby, there will be a lot of empty spaces and you might even feel small knobby protrusions (knees, hands, feet). A posterior baby's heartbeat is harder to find, not because it is weaker in any way, but because the back is not as close to the front of mom's belly.

Now, when do you start thinking more about your baby's position? Usually in the last 4 -6 weeks of pregnancy, I feel it is important to find out your baby's position. Surprisingly, not all health care professionals know how to palpate for baby's position. In this case, try seeing for yourself what position you feel baby in based on these clues:

Rolling sensations and kicking near the ribs (anterior) or pokes and kicks towards your middle front (posterior)?

Hard solid mass when you feel around (anterior) or small knobby protrustions and empty spaces (posterior)? (Be sure to be lying on your back and feel mostly with your palms, skin on skin, applying gentle pressure).

Belly button sticking out (anterior) or belly button sunk in or saucer shaped (posterior)?

Heartbeat easy to find (anterior) or difficult to find (posterior)?

There is something you can do in the last weeks of pregnancy to ENCOURAGE your baby to assume an optimal (anterior) position. It has to do with body mechanics and pelvis mechanics. We live in a sedentary society and far too many pregnant women spend their last weeks of pregnancy with legs up and pelvis rocked back (knees up higher than your pelvis). This lifestyle seems to encourage baby to settle into a posterior position. The key is to try and adopt positions in your everyday life that tilt your pelvis towards the front, with your knees always lower than your pelvis.

If you're thinking "Huh?" again, do not worry. Birth language can be a difficult language to navigate. Pauline Scott's book is written for every mom, regardless of your knowledge of birth terminology! Let's try looking at it this way.

Sitting: Avoid recliners and cars with bucket seats. Now, this doesn't mean you have to get a different car, it just means that you want to make sure you are always sitting up straight. For example, when riding in a car, you can bring a pillow or towel to tuck under your bottom so that you are sitting up straight. This is true of all sitting you do, make sure you are sitting up straight and that your knees are LOWER than your hips.

At home: Think, leaning forward. Try reading or watching T.V. on your knees (perhaps kneeling on a pillow) and leaning over a bean bag, cushions or an exercise ball.

Lying down: Think leaning forward again. Lie on your left side, with your right leg leaning forwards over your left leg so your tummy is touching the mattress.

Stay active!

There is so much more information, helpful diagrams and explanations in Pauline Scott's book. I promise to post more on the posterior position very soon! In the meantime, if you can find her book, you will not regret investing in Pauline Scott's book: "Sit Up and Take Notice! Positioning Yourself for a Better Birth." If you cannot find anywhere to purchase her book, perhaps you can contact a local midwifery practice, doula association or breastfeeding group to see if you can borrow this book from their library.

Blessings,

Julie-Anne

"Daughter, your faith has made you well!"

2007-03-26T17:52:00.000-05:00

When I posted "Healing from Birth", I knew that I was going into deep hidden places...because I have wounds hiding out in my heart too. A dear blogger friend of mine posted a very transparent comment and I have had this comment on my mind all day. One of the things she so candidly said was "I don't know how to heal from my births."

"And a woman who had suffered from a flow of blood for twelve years and had spent all her living upon physicians, and could not be healed by anyone, Came up behind Him and touched the fringe of His garment, and immediately her flow of blood ceased. And Jesus said, Who is it who touched Me? When all were denying it, Peter and those who were with him said, Master, the multitudes surround You and press You on every side! But Jesus said, Someone did touch Me; for I perceived that [healing] power has gone forth from Me. And when the woman saw that she had not escaped notice, she came up trembling, and, falling down before Him, she declared in the presence of all the people for what reason she had touched Him and how she had been instantly cured. And He said to her, Daughter, your faith (your confidence and trust in Me) has made you well! Go (enter) into peace (untroubled, undisturbed well-being)." Luke 8:43-48

I have been working on this post for some time. I've been looking for the right things to say about healing....not necessarily a formula, but direction. I went to the Bible for some insight and almost overlooked the story of the woman with the issue of blood, perhaps because I've heard it so many times. Many sermons have been preached about this woman. Songs have been written about her faith. But, I am inclined to think that she was truly ordinary. She was exhausted by her anemic condition. She was fed up. Her condition made her desperate. Her desperation made her seek healing. Her searching led her to find Jesus. Her discovery of the son of God made her believe that Jesus could heal her. Her belief made her determined to go out of her home and get close enough to TOUCH Jesus.

Would it be safe to say that when it comes to carrying the disappointment and pain of a difficult childbearing experience (or any other life experience), your condition can make YOU feel desperate? Desperate enough to SEEK HEALING. Desperate enough to FIND JESUS. Desperate enough to BELIEVE that Jesus can heal you. And, desperate enough to PRESS IN and get close enough to TOUCH him. And, when you do, would you say that HEALING POWER could once again flow out of him and make YOU (and me) well? When you press in, go as one who is seeking to touch the son of God full of healing power for you.

"A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22

I could not write this post and ignore this scripture. Perhaps you are thinking that your life is full of challenges, your pain is too great for you to have a happy heart. Actually, I have been learning lately that CONTENTMENT can be PRACTICED. It is a decision we make, an exercise of self-control, a fruit of our character. I put this to the test the other day when I wasn't feeling particularly happy. I decided to smile more and be happier in my interactions with my family and in every task of my day. I had a very good day. My dear husband said to me at the end of the day that he loves it when I smile and that he wants to be a better husband to me! Just one day of smiling and light-heartedness BY CHOICE and I was working healing into my marriage! I have had some not so happy days since then. But, I am determined to be able to practice contentment most everyday. May I suggest that if we practice a cheerful mind (contentment) in everyday things but also in pregnancy, birthing and motherhood, we have the power to WORK HEALING into our own hearts and also into the hearts of those around us! Come to your prenatal appointments with a cheerful mind! Go to your ultra-sound with a happy heart! Serve breakfast with a smile. Change a diaper (if you can catch your toddler first) with a light heart! Because, I'll say it again, a happy heart is GOOD MEDICINE and a cheerful mind WORKS HEALING! When you choose to let your broken spirit reign, it will dry up your bones. Try choosing a happy heart and a cheerful mind and work healing into your broken spirit instead!

Blessings,

Julie-Anne

Healing from Birth

2007-03-22T15:50:00.000-05:00

Have you been through a difficult birth, one that left you feeling disappointed and wounded? Perhaps it was an unexpected cesarean birth or a challenging labour or an untimely birth. Whatever the circumstances, the outcome was a deep wound for you. People around you may be unsympathetic. They say things like, "well, at least the baby is healthy" as if to suggest that your disappointment in your birth experience is not important as long as your baby was born safe and sound. This can leave you feeling alone and misunderstood.

Women react to disappointing births in many ways. Some women convince themselves that their bodies are not able to have a "good" birth, that their cervix just can't dilate, that their hips are too small etc. (Sometimes, they are repeating to themselves what they have heard their doctors say). Other women will become so anxious and stressed about their next birth. They will read everything they can, leading to some positive informed choices. However, they may also make some decisions out of fear. No matter how you have chosen to react to a difficult and disappointing birth experience, the most important process that many women miss out on is HEALING.

"For, behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone." Songs of Solomon 2:11

One time, I was asked by a couple to support them through the birth of their second child. They were a few weeks away from their due date. I went to their home to meet with them. It didn't take long for me to see that this dear mom had been traumatized by her previous birth. Even more evident to me was the fact that she did not have any emotional healing or closure regarding this experience. I wondered why her midwife had not assigned more importance to dealing with her past birth. This second birth would prove to be equally as disappointing. As the time of her birth drew near, it was clear that her past trauma would have a dramatic impact on how her body accepted and experienced this second birth process. Oh how I wished we had had more time to work on her healing process before her second child came!

"The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing [of birds] has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land." Songs of Solomon 2:12

As spring begins to bloom, I would encourage you to go into your prayer closet, uncover your birth wound, and let the Lord begin to pour healing into your heart and set you free! Come to your next birth with new hope and peace. Not only will you be better prepared for your next birth emotionally, but you will also be better able to embrace the physical process of birth. There is an important mind/body connection that happens when giving birth. Let the Great Physician renew and restore that connection!

"O Lord my God, I cried to You and You have healed me." Psalm 30:2

Isaiah 61 proclaims that God sent Jesus to bind up and heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives! He came to grant us the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a heavy, burdened and failing spirit!

I don't know about you but, count me in!

Julie-Anne